Superman Saves Children And Drunks

Look, I’m not gonna blow sunshine up your ass: it’s St. Patrick’s Day, we live in Boston, and I am Irish. I have my second pint of Guinness sitting in front of me, and we are foregoing the traditional corned beef and cabbage gut bomb in favor of a light salmon supper. These circumstances, when combined, mean that my command of the written English language has about 45 minutes to live.

So let’s all give thanks that the good folks at CorridorDigital have access to a Superman suit, some actors, a green screen, and a jacked-up camera drone. Because they have combined those circumstances to create a three-minute video of what it might look like if Superman strapped a Go-Pro camera to his head and flew around saving people and stomping bad guys.

It’s actually a really cool first-person view of what it might be like to be Superman flying around the landscape, and I am going to post it now. Because if I wait about an hour to post and view it, it is good enough that I will become motion sick, and dark ale will erupt from places that it should not. At least not before closing time. And you can check it out after the jump.

Look, Up On That Float: Video Of The First Appearance of Superman In 1940

We have no comic news for you today, just a video of something truly remarkable: people openly smoking cigarettes around children without a single look of scorn from some health nut passer-by.

Just kidding (although that totally happens and it makes me sad that I live in the 21st Century); this is actually a home movie from the very first public appearance of Superman. Not the real Superman, because that video would be shown on media other than independent comic book Web sites on a hung over Saturday afternoon.

Instead, this is the first appearance of an actor pretending to be Superman, at the 1940 World’s Fair, a little more than two years after the character debuted in Action Comics #1. And watching it, a few things struck me, the first being how surprising it was that so many kids managed to get their hands on Superman t-shirts despite the lack of a Graphitti Designs or (in 1940) a remotely functioning economy. The second thing was: whatever happened to the Superman dress for Young Misses? Had such a thing existed when I was a Young Mister, I could have saved a lot of time knowing which girls I could have spoken to in order to avoid as many scrotal injuries.

But the biggest thing that struck me was that clearly, 1940 was a simpler time for kids. Because there they were, seeing literally the first physical embodiment of Superman – hell, any comic book hero… and not a single one of them was complaining that the trunks rode too high, or that his spitcurl was wrong, or that you could totally see the safety wire holding him up. If this occured in 2013, there would be drunken malcontents shrieking about these things on the Internet. Drunken malcontents like me, because all of those things were totall wrong.

But still: it’s actually kinda cool to see the first real crossover of comic superheroes into some kind of multimedia. And it’s doubly impressive, because in 1940, the world was only about ten years out from “multimedia” being just “medium.” And you can check it out for yourself after the jump.

Equitable Man Ass: Tony Daniel Sells Superman / Wonder Woman Badly At Toronto Fan Fest

Jesus Yammering Christ, is this what were reduced to now? Not just chasing that screeching tween Twilight dollar, but doing it hamfistedly and just fucking wrong?

All right, hold on; let me explain.

The Toronto Fan Expo was held this weekend. We did not attend this convention because we are still paying off our visits to the San Diego and Boston comic conventions (and are getting ready to pay our deposit for our emergency backup room for next year’s SDCC which, yes, we have already made reservations for), and because the nation of Canada has, based on a 1991 visit I made to Montreal, decided that my presence is so detrimental to their culture that even my American dollars don’t make up for it.

However, DC Comics was there, and as they do in most bigger conventions, they held a DC All Access panel to discuss upcoming books, such as Superman / Wonder Woman, written by Charles Soule with art by Tony Daniel and scheduled for a first issue release on October 9th. And Daniel was on that panel, and he addressed the impetus behind building a title around these two characters, who are two-thirds of a trinity of legendary characters created by DC.

And yeah: it turns out that that impetus wasn’t to tell legendary action stories. It apparently was to attract 11-year-old screechy girls and their sweet, sweet fistfuls of daddy’s cash.

Since Then, I’ve Spent Most Of My Time Chasing Superman. So To Speak: Ben Affleck Cast As Batman In Zack Snyder’s Batman Vs. Superman Movie

Christ, you go out to dinner late on a single, solitary Thursday evening, and what do you miss…

Ending weeks of speculation, Ben Affleck has been set to star as Batman, a.k.a. Bruce Wayne. Affleck and filmmaker Zack Snyder will create an entirely new incarnation of the character in Snyder’s as-yet-untitled project—bringing Batman and Superman together for the first time on the big screen and continuing the director’s vision of their universe, which he established in “Man of Steel.” The announcement was made today by Greg Silverman, President, Creative Development and Worldwide Production, and Sue Kroll, President, Worldwide Marketing and International Distribution, Warner Bros. Pictures.

The studio has slated the film to open worldwide on July 17, 2015.

Okay, let’s all get our, “Oh Jesus, Affleck was in Gigli / Saving Christmas / Sum of All Fears / Jennifer Lopez!” panic out of our system. Feel better? Now settle down, huddle up, fetch your old Uncle Rob some more bourbon, and listen up: this is not bad news.

You’re Just A Guy In A Suit: Man of Steel Review / Observations

Editor’s Note: I was born in spoilers, Colonel; you can’t get more ruinous than that.

Man of Steel is a pretty decent superhero movie, if not necessarily the best Superman movie if you’re a purist about the character… but if you are, you’re probably off in a dark room somewhere writing hate messages to Dan DiDio about the New 52 reboot and scoffing at the sheep running to movie theaters when there’s a perfectly good Superman DVD with Christopher Reeve’s picture on it on your shelf, and you don’t give a fuck what I think about Man of Steel anyway.

Which is a shame (not that you don’t care what I think; hell, before I’ve had at least three beers, even I think I’m an idiot), because in most of the ways that matter, director Zack Snyder gets the character right. Snyder’s Superman is a man of two worlds who has made the conscious decision to favor and protect humanity over anything else. He’s generally humble and patient and wants only to be trusted to help us. And Man of Steel screenwriter David S. Goyer, probably remembering the shitstorm he himself created in Action Comics #900 when he implied Superman would be renouncing his United States citizenship, makes it abundantly clear that the Superman of Man of Steel is all about The American Way.

But Snyder and Goyer chuck a certain amount of what your average guy on the street would consider to be Superman canon. Superman never really is the Last Son of Krypton here, and the whole secret identity conceit is kinda thrown out in all the ways that most people would consider to really matter to the character. And it’s a little odd that our first introduction to Superman is at gunpoint in the desert so that he can turn himself in to American authorities; I’ll tell you this: Batman wouldn’t put up with that kind of happy horseshit.

So when it comes to reviewing Man of Steel, I’m gonna pretty much leave it at: yeah, it was pretty good. Because I’ve only seen the movie once, and by the time I’m finishing this article up It’s been three days since I saw it, so some of the details aren’t going to be as clear as they could be in my mind. But I am going to make some observations about some things about the movie that I noticed, and a couple of things that have driven some people who saw the movie apeshit, but which instead make a lot of sense to me having had a few days to give them some thought.

The first of those observations being: the greatest accomplishment that Man of Steel makes is that it puts on the big screen the first relatively true adaptation of Miracleman #15.

Unfolded: Superman Unchained #1 Review

I’ve had some issues with Superman ever since his New 52 reboot. Because frankly, through the eyes of hindsight, Superman’s reboot was kind of a schizo mess.

On one hand, we had Grant Morrison on Action Comics, showing Superman as a kid in a t-shirt with a reduced powerset punching out millionaires. At the same time, Superman was going full blast in his own title, separated from Lois Lane and having big adventures, all while the original writer was screeching about editorial interference and jumping off midstream, leaving the title in the capable hands of the man who rebooted Starfire to be an amnesiac cockmonger. In the meantime, Morrison made Superman’s invulnerability partially contingent on some weird Kryptonian battle armor, and then Geoff Johns had Superman start chucking the meat to Wonder Woman. And that’s all if you ignore what’s happening in the out-of-continuity, video game tie-in title Injustice: Gods Among Us, where Superman is following “The American Way,” if by that you mean, “Ruthlessly enforcing order through the use of constant pervasive surveillance.”

That’s all gone on in just 21 months, and while it might be all well and good for your average rabid comics fan, there’s not much that screams, “It’s Superman!” to Joe Blow on the street… and that is a problem when DC’s last, best hope for creating a Marvel-style movie empire is Man of Steel – a Superman movie opening, well, tomorrow. And imagine that one-in-a-thousand moviegoer who is lucky enough to live in a neighborhood like mine, where there is a movie theater a block away from a comic store, and who leaves Man of Steel, wanders to that comic store and buys everything he sees with Superman on the cover… only to find a dude in armor making out with Wonder Woman when he isn’t incinerating banana republics for disobeying his orders.

Enter Scott Snyder, Jim Lee and Superman Unchained: a Superman story that uses the new costume and Superman’s New 52 status quo, but is still identifiably an old-school Superman story with an identifiable Big Blue Boy Scout, Lois Lane, Jimmy Olsen and everything else that that mythical Some Dude Walking Into A Comic Store After Man of Steel might expect. And it should act as a pretty solid entry point for any non-comic readers that Man of Steel might attract…

…except for that fucking poster, which is an abominable choice.

The Rains of Smallville: New Man of Steel Featurette Released

We are in a strange form of angry detente today at the Crisis On Infinite Midlives Home Office, based on the fact that I have read George R. R. Martin’s Song of Ice And Fire. Because of this, I knew the term “Red Wedding,” and all its ramifications for certain characters on last night’s episode of HBO’s Game of Thrones adaptation of that series… while my co-Editor Amanda, who has not read any of the books, did not. Therefore, things have been tense here, beginning with the moment when Amanda asked, “Why is Roose Bolton wearing chain mail?” moving through cries of, “You could have warned me, you insensitive douche!” and continuing through this evening’s, “Here’s a surprise for you: you’re getting your own Goddamned beer.”

So after almost 24 hours of being face-to-face with bleak nihilism in a world where honor fails, justice is dead and the most fortunate member of an idealistic  family is the one who watched both her parents die in front of her, the only cure is some good, old-fashioned, American superheroics, free of senseless murders, gratuitous dismemberments, and where the phrase, “Winter is coming” only means that we’re in a break from big summer event crossovers.

And to get that pure experience, that means Superman. And thankfully, Zack Snyder’s Man of Steel opens in just a couple of weeks, which means that we can distract ourselves from the fall of the House of Stark with some solid studio hype over the rise of the House of El.

And in that spirit: a ten-plus minute featurettte about the making of Man of Steel, including some new stills and video footage from the flick. So if you’re still reeling from seeing Ma Stark get a Westeros Necktie, you can check out Pa Kent tell the last survivor of House El how he’ll always be his dad after the jump.

Doog Yrev Ton: Action Comics #18 Review

Grant Morrison is done with Action Comics now. And I am okay with that.

I am okay with that because, with the benefit of  hindsight over the entire run, his story was meant for Superman fans. By which I mean, real, hardcore, longtime Superman fans. The kind of Superman fan who thinks Superman will never look right again now that Curt Swan is dead. The kind of Superman fan who knows, without consulting Wikipedia, that Silver Kryptonite makes Superman PCP-level paranoid, while Red Kryptonite makes him grow four dicks in each armpit. The kind of Superman fan who calls his penis “Beppo.”

Morrison’s run started with Superman fighting corrupt businessmen, as he did in the early issues of the original Action Comics, and ended with a battle with Mr. Mxyzpltk, effectively “modernizing” Superman for the New 52 by bringing him from 1938 all the way to 1965, via a mescaline bender. Sure, there was the odd stop to examine what Superman might mean to the modern world, but all in all, this series started out, and ended, as a celebration of the earlier, more out-there elements of the Superman mythos.

So, as I’ve said in other reviews of Morrison’s Action Comics issues, how you feel about Action Comics #18 will largely depend on how nostalgic you are for Fifth Dimensional imps, multi-colored Kryptonite, super-powered animals, the Legion of Super Heroes, and yet another bold statement about how important Superman is to the DC Universe and to America. You know, bold statements like Morrison made in All-Star Superman and DC One Million.

Personally? I can take them or leave them.

Ender’s (definitely not) Gay-m – Updated!

Back!  After only a year absence!  Thank heaven for prison overcrowding, that’s all I’m saying.  Also, Skullfish!  Call me!  What we had was magical! – Lance

UPDATE: DC responds – “As content creators we steadfastly support freedom of expression, however the personal views of individuals associated with DC Comics are just that — personal views — and not those of the company itself.”  Translation – “Card already cashed the check, so we’re damn well going to use the stuff he wrote.”

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Anyway, in their ongoing effort to make comics inclusive, DC has hired noted gay rights enthusiast Orson Scott Card to write Adventures of Superman.  Don’t get me wrong.  I’ve read a lot of Card’s work.  Ender’s Game is a sci-fi staple and deserving of a place in any classics bookshelf.  It was real eye-opening when I learned that Card is just a bit homophobic.  And by a bit, I mean extremely.  And by extremely, I mean he looks at Westboro Baptist and sneers, “Amateurs…”

Card’s a talented writer, and I don’t blame DC for trying to bring in a name.  Plenty of other books have boosted sales by hiring big name as writers.  The results are… inconsistent (I’m looking at you Bourdain), but hey, it puts eyes on pages.  And if Card is writing fiction, his personal beliefs don’t necessarily have to be relevant.

That said, Superman represents what’s best in all of us.  He fought the Klan in the 1940’s. He protects the weak from the strong.  I like to think that he wouldn’t tell Batwoman or Alan Scott to get lost because they’re sinners.

Maybe the Card is capable of writing a brilliant Superman story that lets me forget what a tool he is.  I’m not real optimistic though.  Still it will be refreshing for Superman to finally tell Jimmy Olsen to sack the hell up.

The Card-authored Adventures of Superman #1 drops online on April 29 and in print on May 29.

Unlike The Home Office, Superman Is Unbound

Well, the good news is that professional people with some weird forms of PKE Meters have cleared the Crisis On Infinite Midlives Home Office of any signs of water damage and / or Black Mold. The bad news is that the entire ordeal took a lot more time than I anticipated, and beyond that, now my dreams of chucking the workaday world of comics blogging in favor of a home-grown psilocybin farming business (but I still own the name Boston Baseboard Shrooms! And all it’s subsidiary rights!) have officially gone tits up.

And the worse news is that, even as the Home Office has been cleared for human habitation… yeah, heavy windstorms in Boston have knocked out our Internet. Meaning that we can only do a quick update today, using my aged cell phone as a half-assed Wi-Fi hotspot, in clear violation of my terms of service, and way outside the scope of what the good folks at Westinghouse Electrical Notions and Radio Communication Geegaws intended.

But we do have a bit of news: Warner Bros. has released a teaser trailer for their latest upcoming animated, direct-to-video feature. It’s gonna be Superman: Unbound, and based on a Geoff Johns written and Gary Franks drawn series in Action Comics back in 2008. Now, I’m not the biggest Superman fan in the world, but I have never seen a bad DC animated feature, and this one looks to be just as solid.

The feature’s gonna star the voice talents of Matt Bomer (from White Collar) as Superman and Molly Quinn as Supergirl, And you can check out the trailer after the jump… in theory, assuming my shaky, improvised Internet access holds (and if it doesn’t we’ll fix it when we have more signal).