Zombie Apocalypse: Batman Incorporated #5 Review

Editor’s Note: Babylon falls! The spoilers you defended are meaningless!

Back in 2007. Batman #666 kind of came out of nowhere, clearly a result of Grant Morrison realizing he was writing a issue numbered “666”, rubbing his hands together and cackling gleefully around a mouthful of peyote.

Batman #666 introduced Damian Wayne as Batman, having taken over the mantle after some unexplained thing happened to Bruce Wayne fifteen years in the future. Damian is a gun-toting, trenchcoat-wearing lethal version of Batman, who has sold his soul to the devil and must battle a demon for the future of Gotham City… and none of that description, by the way, is an Issac Hayes style euphemism to make Damian sound tough; these are things that actually happened. Imagine listening to the Theme From Shaft and feeling the slowly-dawning horror when you realize that John Shaft actually fucked his mother. And apparently did it badly. Yeah. Welcome to shoot-first, sell-your-soul-to-Satan-even-sooner Batman.

The whole issue was kind of a goof, and as a gimmick issue, the whole thing kind of came and went without further comment in the story arc. But due to the asskicking nature of Damian as Batman, the issue has become a fan favorite (not my favorite, but your mileage may vary), and I don’t think a San Diego Comic-Con that had Morrison in attendance has gone by without some fan asking when we would see Damian’s Batman again. To which Morrison would reply: “Schoor toor ach Damian fchoor ich dloor Mescaline schaar ploor Scotland.” Dude has one hell of an accent is all I’m saying, but I digress.

Well, their wait is over. Batman Incorporated #5 is Morrison’s version of The Dark Knight Returns for Damian’s version of Batman, It is the imaginary final battle for that version of Batman, featuring his final conflict against his most dangerous antagonist with the fate of Gotham City hanging in the balance. However, unlike Frank Miller’s classic, Morrison accomplishes it in less than 20 pages (appropriate for a character who showed up for about 20 pages more than five years ago), and considering it tells the story of an apocryphal version of Batman who exists purely thanks to a vagary of issue numbering, it is surprisingly effective.

World Building: Man of Steel, Joseph Gordon-Levitt May Be Involved In Justice League Movie

Update, 7 p.m.: According to Sydney Bucksbaum at Hollywood.com, Gordon-Levitt’s representatives have “refuted the rumor entirely.” Of course, one time I had representatives “refute” the “rumor” that I had “run over” an “elderly person” while I was “hammered.” At least they did until my representatives negotiated a final “plea agreement.” So for now, I guess this will remain, as it did this morning, a cool-sounding rumor.

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Ever since Marvel Studios’ Avengers movie made about a bazillion dollars earlier this year, it was all but a foregone conclusion that Warner Bros. would be coming out with a Justice League movie. You know, unless for some reason they hate money. Watching a movie about a superhero team make beaucoup delores, to the point it has only been beaten by blue people fucking or young lovers freezing to death in the frigid North Atlantic (again: blue people fucking. Pow! Thank you folks, I’ll be here all week! I work here!), and then leaving your own superhero property on the table, would be less a poor management decision than terminal self-destructive whiskey insanity.

The Justice League movie has quietly been in pre-production since Warner Bros. won the latest battle for the rights to Superman against the estate of Superman creator Joe Shuster about a month ago, but without a lot of detail as to how they were gonna proceed. Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight trilogy had ended, with both Nolan and Batman actor Christian Bale saying pretty strongly that they wouldn’t be involved in anything else Batman-related. Zack Snyder was deep into production on Superman movie Man of Steel, but he’d said back in March of last year that Man of Steel wouldn’t be part of any Justice League movie. So all initial indications were that Warner Bros. was planning pull a reverse of Marvel Studios, and just make a Justice League movie, spinning individual heroes’ movies off of that.

But that was then, and $623,279,547 Avengers movie dollars ago. Today, it looks like there might be some moves to make Justice League tie not only into Man of Steel… but into Nolan’s Dark Knight trilogy.

A Leader We Can Believe In: The Dark Knight Returns Part 2 Trailer

A little busy here watching a couple of white guys argue over being second in command, all while sorting through the early news coming from New York Comic-Con (Turns out “Superior” actually stands for Superior Spider-Man, and Scott Snyder and Jim Lee are gonna be doing a Man of Steel book, but we’ll address those in the next couple of days.

In the meantime, how about video of a real leader? One who inherited a society in crisis and implemented some old fashioned law and order? I mean, of course: The Batman.

Batman from the upcoming second act of the animated adaptation of Frank Miller’s Batman: The Dark Knight Returns, and this video has the good stuff: Batman versus Superman. Batman doing… actually, who gives a shit? It has some Batman versus Superman. You’ve wanted to see it in motion since 1986. And it beats the living shit out of watching two rich guys call each other scoundrels.

A Clown Walks Into A Bar: Batman #13 Review

Scott Snyder spent a lot of his time at this year’s San Diego Comic-Con hyping his Death of The Family storyline as one of the definitive Joker storylines of all time… and at the time, it sounded like an awful lot of hype. Here’s what I wrote about his comments at the time:

“It really is our Killing Joke… this is an explanation of what makes The Joker special as a villain.”

“He will rape and kill… and do everything to break you,” Snyder said. “[We wrote The Joker] the most fucking twisted we possibly could.”

All of which sounded promising, but let’s face reality: there ain’t a comic writer alive lucky enough to get to write the main Batman title, with The Joker as the villain no less, who ever said, “The Joker? Fuck that guy. He’s no K.G. Beast, I’ll tell you what. So yeah; I fucking phoned it in… what’s that? Yeah, it’s spelled L-O-B-D-E-L-L…”

So the hype kinda slid off my back at the time, but now it’s three months later, and Batman #13, the first issue of the Death of The Family crossover, is out in comic stores. And sure, there’s been a lot of excitement over the story, and yeah, the owner of my local comic store, where they know me by name and ask me not to ask the paying clientele if they want a dose of my “Joker Venom and / or Happy Juice,” told me, “That’s the way The Joker should be written,” when he handed my my copy… but it’s all just hype still right? That’s the question I asked myself when I opened the book an hour ago, and…

Son of a bitch. Now that’s The Joker.

Batman Intoxicated: Legends of The Dark Knight #1 Review

Let’s get the obvious out of the way up front and confirm that no, Legends of The Dark Knight #1 is by no means required reading. A printed collection of digital-first shorts that DC has been publishing online first since June, these stories take place outside of current DC continuity – sometimes apparently taking place outside of any known DC continuity – and if it weren’t for the involvement of some A-List talent, would appear to be nothing more than DC looking for ways to monetize their backlog of emergency backup stories, some dating back to God knows when – one of these stories clearly takes place back in the Grant Morrison’s / Joe Kelly JLA of the late 90s / early 2000s… although with the setting on the JLA satellite, it might take place in 1978 for all I know.

So do you need to read this book? Hell no; as I said: this feels like DC using their old inventory to scrape four more bucks out of you this week. However, do you want to read this book? Well, if you’re interested in seeing how both some top-shelf and up-and-coming talent view Batman, with absolutely no continuity or ongoing story constraints? It actually is kind of interesting… if somewhat problematic. After all, this appears to be a playground for doing Batman stories, and sometimes on playgrounds, people fall down. And sometimes people are offered free candy and a van ride, but my personal life is none of your Goddamned business, and besides: I’m getting off point here.

The Other… Hurts: First Clip From Animated The Dark Knight Returns

With all the recent excitement surrounding Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight Rises, it’s easy to forget that DC / Warner Bros. is busy putting the finishing touches on the TDKR movie that anyone who was reading comics in the late 1980s really cares about: the animated adaptation of Frank Miller’s The Dark Knight Returns.

As someone who owns the first print issues of The Dark Knight Returns, plus the first print of the trade paperback, and the Longmeadow Press leather-bound Complete Frank Miller Batman from 1989 (including both The Dark Knight Returns and Batman: Year One, and no, it is not for sale), I am damned excited for this flick… and yet disappointed that we are getting it as an animated feature. Because any comic fan around 40 years old had dozens of conversations between 1986 and say, 1996, about who to cast in a live-action version of Dark Knight. My 1988 money was on Lee Marvin as Batman, Anthony Perkins as The Joker, and Christopher Reeve back as Superman… and given all their current availability, I guess I’ll stick with the animated version.

Anyway, DC and Warner Bros. have released the first complete clip from the first part of the movie (It’ll be two DVDs or Blu-Rays), and despite being only a minute or so long, I think you’ll see at least one familiar image… from both The Dark Knight Returns and The Dark Knight Rises.

Semi-Strong Batch: Batman Incorporated #3 Review

Well, that wasn’t so bad, was it? Well, it wasn’t so bad in relation to the July shootings that led to Batman Incorporated #3 being delayed for a month. From a storytelling standpoint, it’s another matter, but I’ll get back to that.

Batman Incorporated #3 has a lot going for it, and that is a surprising thing for a guy who hasn’t been digging Grant Morrison’s Batman stories to say. Morrison delivers us a 70s style detective story, with Batman spending a large part of the issue undercover – Batman doesn’t appear in full costume in a single panel of this issue –  trying to root out Leviathan and Talia Al Ghul. It’s not a perfect issue, but it’s generally a refreshing throwback to Neal Adams / Dennis O’Neil stories from the 70s, with the weirdness for the sake of weirdness that Morrison can’t seem to help himself from chucking into his Batman stories dialed back to a dull roar. Not no roar, but it’s subdued enough for me to alternate between hoping Morrison might be mellowing, and suspecting that his mescaline dealer coughed up a weak batch.

With that said, this issue suffers from a few storytelling problems, and requires a few voluntary leaps in logic if you want to truly enjoy it… which means that the “weak batch” theory is getting more of a foothold with me.

Ready For More Batman? Animated Dark Knight Returns – Part One Trailer Now Online

On the off chance that Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight Rises was too upbeat and happy ending oriented for you, hardcore Batman fans can now look forward to an animated version of Frank Miller’s 1986 classic, The Dark Knight Returns,…if they can overlook Robocop Peter Weller in place of Kevin Conroy as the voice of The Batman.

The animated feature follows the same premise as the graphic novel – a retired Batman coming back to protect Gotham from a brutal gang called The Mutants, who have come into possession of military grade weapons. He takes on a new Robin, a young girl named Carrie Kelly. She will be voiced by Ariel Winter. Harvey Dent/Two-Face (Wade William) and Commissioner Gordon (David Selby) also make appearances.

Check out the trailer after the jump!

Back In The Shadows: Batman Incorporated #3 Delayed

So now it’s a comic book story: DC Comics and the Batman editorial team have decided to delay this week’s scheduled release of Batman Incorporated #3 due to “content that may be perceived as insensitive in light of recent events.”

Wow, that content must be a pisser. Let’s see what the original issue’s solicitation says about it:

BATMAN, INCORPORATED #3
Written by GRANT MORRISON
Art and cover by CHRIS BURNHAM
Variant cover by JAY FABOK
1:100 B&W Variant cover by CHRIS BURNHAM
On sale JULY 25 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US • RATED T
Combo Pack Edition: $3.99
Retailers: This issue will ship with three covers. Please see the order form for more information.
• The DC COMIC – THE NEW 52 debut of…MATCHES MALONE??
• BATMAN is hot on the trail of whoever is trying to kill DAMIAN – and he’s not going to like what he finds!

Okay, with an appearance by Batman’s undercover alter ego Matches Malone, this seems like it’s going to be an organized crime story… which at face value seems pretty innocuous compared to the theater shootings, but on one hand, one could argue that, for the next couple of weeks, any Batman story with a shooting might touch a nerve. Further, since the story is about someone trying to kill Damian Wayne – a ten-year-old kid – seeing a gun on him in the context of the theater shootings might be a little sensitive, whether or not the ten-year-old kid in question is a trained ninja assassin.

Conan O’Brien Finds Link Between TDKR Baine And Mitt Romney (Bane)

So, on Tuesday I guess Rush Limbagh said some nonsense about how the villain in The Dark Knight Rises, Bane, is actually supposed to be a liberal slam against Mitt Romney and his former company Bain Capital. Really. Here’s the quote:

Have you heard, this new movie, the Batman movie — what is it, the Dark Knight Lights Up or something? Whatever the name of it is. That’s right, Dark Knight Rises, Lights Up, same thing. Do you know the name of the villain in this movie? Bane. The villain in the Dark Knight Rises is named Bane. B-A-N-E. What is the name of the venture capital firm that Romney ran, and around which there’s now this make-believe controversy? Bain. The movie has been in the works for a long time, the release date’s been known, summer 2012 for a long time. Do you think that it is accidental, that the name of the really vicious, fire-breathing, four-eyed, whatever-it-is villain in this movie is named Bane? … Anyway, so this evil villain in the new Batman movie is named Bane. And there’s now discussion out there as to whether or not this was purposeful, and whether or not it will influence voters. It’s going to have a lot of people. This movie, the audience is going to be huge, lot of people are going to see the movie. And it’s a lot of brain-dead people, entertainment, the pop culture crowd. And they’re going to hear ‘Bane’ in the movie, and they are going to associate Bain. And the thought is that when they start paying attention to the campaign later in the year, and Obama and the Democrats keep talking about Bain, not Bain Capital, but Bain, Romney and Bain, that these people will think back to the Batman movie — “Oh yeah, I know who that is.” There are some people who think it will work. There are some people think it will work. Others think — “You’re really underestimating the American people who think that will work.”

I’d say his statements must make the folks over at Southeast Missouri State University really proud of him, but he never actually graduated from there. Bane, the Batman villain, was created in 1993, Rush. Even if you don’t have a full college education, Google is your fucking friend, buddy.

Meanwhile, leave it to the fine staff at Conan O’Brien to poke further fun at this ridiculous statement.

The Dark Knight Rises is in theaters now.