Big Dumb Fun. With Pussies: Avenging Spider-Man #7 Review

In a spring season loaded with Batman battling to save Gotham from the Court of Owls, and The Avengers trading punches with the X-Men with the fate of the world hanging in the balance, sometimes Event Fatigue sets in. And sometimes you want a change of pace from the ongoing Superhero Apocalypse, and as you look at your normal alternatives – the Zombie Apocalypse in The Walking Dead or the Zombie Apocalypse in Crossed: Badlands are normally pretty much it – you maybe start wishing for a nice, fun, and maybe a little goofy one-and-done to cleanse the palate as a change of pace.

Or maybe you just have a thing for cats. Maybe your house smells like cat litter and ammoniac urine, the Internet doesn’t give you enough other cats to fill in the gap, and where the rubber hits the road, you’re despondent that you just can’t hug all the cats, despite oodles of free time with which you can pursue this goal thanks to the aforementioned ammoniac smell. Either way, Avenging Spider-Man #7 is the book you’ve been looking for, and between it and Versus, it is living proof that, from the standpoint of just plain fun comics, Kathryn and Stuart Immonen should be allowed to do whatever the fuck they want, ever.

Subculture Shock: Waltham Steampunk City 2012

Didja know that wristwatches were invented by Tiffany, sometime in the early 1900s, and that they are therefore inappropriate for a Victorian steampunk costume? Me neither, until earlier today when I went to the Watch City Festival – AKA Steampunk City – in Waltham, Massachusetts.

We here at Crisis On Infinite Midlives are not Steampunkers, we’re inveterate comics geeks. However, it is Mother’s Day, meaning that Amanda is laboring to make her mom believe she is still worthy of her meager inheritance, and I needed something to do for the afternoon other than go directly to the bar from where I am writing this (I said, “directly”). And since Steampunk City is literally a hop, skip and a jump from the Home Office, I figured I’d take a gander.

Teaser Poster For Sin City 2 Now Out

Did you know that mixing chardonnay, two kinds of beer, some cider, and a 12 year old single malt will result in a vicious hangover? Yeah, I did too. But I did it anyway. So, until it abates and I can write something more coherent than “BLEEEEAAAARGH!”, I offer you this tidbit posted by Bleeding Cool – the first teaser poster for Sin City 2, with director credits for Robert Rodriguez and Frank Miller.

Now I’m going to find some Vicodin and a sauna and go all Marv on this hangover. Later y’all.

Roger Langridge Gonzo From Marvel, DC

If you’re a casual comic book reader, you probably have no idea who Roger Langridge is. Here at the Crisis On Infinite Midlives Home Office, however, we are big fans, mostly due to his work on Boom Studios’ The Muppet Show comic back around 2009, when a Muppets movie revival was only the bulge in Jason Segal’s BVDs, and when reading a comic based on a childhood favorite TV show was a pleasant diversion from our constant morning joint pain.

(Digression before the meat of the story: if you are a Muppet Show fan, you owe it to yourself to find those issues. I don’t know how Langridge did it, but he distilled a visual show with a heavy musical element into a standard comic book, and he captured the tone flawlessly. Disney buying Marvel, meaning Disney suddenly had their own comic publisher for the Muppets and therefore could pull the license from Boom, has been, to us, the biggest tragedy of that merger to date).

Since that book folded, Langridge has been doing some work for Marvel on their John Carter books (See? Goddamned Disney merger fucks up all kinds of shit…), but no more. Following in the footsteps of Chris Roberson and announced, via the Internet, that he will no longer be working for either Marvel or DC due to “individual conscience”:

Everyone Is The Hero Of His Own Story: Stan Lee On Creators’ Rights

History is written by the victors, and Stan Lee is nothing if not a winner.

At least co-creator of Spider-Man, The X-Men and The Avengers and a fistful of other lucrative and profitable properties (as I’m sure they are referred to in the Disney front office), Stan started as a simple editor, moved into writing, somewhere along the line in the 1970s became the head cheerleader for Marvel Comics, both in the comics themselves in his Stan’s Soapbox column and in the mainstream press, and wound up making himself a deal skimming fat bank off of Marvel for not doing much of anything at all… probably because no viable corporation wants their head cheerleader to start yowling “Marvel fucked me without lube!” in the public prints.

So Stan lucked out, put himself into a good negotiating position and Got His. And while I stand by my continuing opinion that any comic creator – hell, any human being – who doesn’t want to get fucked by a major corporation probably should make sure their contract contains an anti-fuckery clause before signing it as opposed to bemoaning it afterwards, I have always wondered how Stan feels about guys like Kirby and Colan and Ditko, who were at the very least in the room when these icons were created, and rather than winding up with cameos in the multimillion dollar movie adaptations instead wound up humping an empty table at Artists’ Alley, a premature coffin, or worst of all, an Ayn Rand novel.

Well, wonder no more… or at least, wonder no more how Stan would kinda deflect the question if he was asked. Because Alex Pappademas did an extended piece that includes a short interview with The Man for Grantland. And that interview includes a question to Stan how he feels about the recent uproar over creators’ rights:

Finally Forward Thinking: Avengers Assemble #3 Review

Editor’s Note: There was an idea to bring together a group of remarkable people, so when we needed them, they could spoil the comics that we never could.

Put as mildly as a foul-mouthed, cynical, long-time drunken comic reader can put it, comic publishers almost never handle the release of a movie based on one of their properties well. Put less mildly and more baldly accurately, they generally seem to take the opportunity such a cross-media exposure provides for attracting new, enthusiastic readers to their comic books to grimly set their jaws, strap on their cleats, and stomp hard on their own dicks.

It happens over and over, so predictably that it might was well be a Cylon plot. The Dark Knight is poised to become the biggest movie of 2008, you say? What a perfect time for DC to kill Batman and put a new guy in the suit! Thor looking to open large? Awesome! Kill him! Iron Man breaking bigger than anyone thought in 2008? Sweet, let’s make him a government bureaucrat! It’s like the front offices of the Big Two, prior to the release of a comic book movie, go days without sleep, subsisting on amphetamines, trying to figure out how to convey to potential new readers, who wander into a comic store to learn more about the character they just fell in love with, that it would be in their best interests to fuck off and just keep right on walking.

So imagine my surprise when Marvel, not five days after the release of Avengers in American theaters, put out an issue of a comic book written and drawn by one of their A-list talent teams that looks like the movie, has the same characters as the movie, that is not only action-packed and imminently accessible to anyone who saw the movie, but also goes about answering one of the key unanswered questions from the movie that I have been asked repeatedly since last Friday: “So, that guy in the scene in the credits… who was that guy, exactly?”

Failing Up

Apologies for the lack of substantive updates today, but the hangovers at the Crisis On Infinite Midlives Home Office have been truly crippling today. Oh sure, last night started as a quiet evening of chamommile tea and comic book study… but then one of us, which one of us exactly is forever lost to the fog of time and mid-range blended scotch, but one of us…

One of us remembered that this week was Rob Liefeld’s first issue of Deathstroke.

But New Comics Day waits for no hangover, so disappointing personnel change in a personal favorite book of Amanda’s or no, we butched up, hit our local comics store, where they know me by name and ask me to stop asking the paying customers if they “want to see my Deathstroke,” which means that this….

…means the end of our broadcast day.

Still and all, looks like it was worth the stagger out. We’ve got a new issue of Brubaker’s and Phillips’s Fatale, a new story arc in The Walking Dead, a Bendis   Deodato New Avengers…

And yes, the first Liefeld Deathstroke. While I don’t want to be prejudiced, I’m guessing that’ll be our “They’re not all gonna be Picassos” issue of the week.

But before we can review them, we need time to read them. And for the dry heaves to stop. So until then…

See you tomorrow, suckers!

Guess The Change In My Pocket Wasn’t Enough: Action Comics #9 Review

Editor’s Note: This is Lex Luthor. Only one thing alive with less than four legs can hear this spoiler, Superman, and it’s you.

Grant Morrison doesn’t do anything by half measures, but he outdoes even himself in Action Comics #9. In 20 short pages, he manages to level searing indictments against comic fans, comic publishers, Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster, possibly Zack Snyder, and definitely almost anyone who’s written Superman between 1986 and 2011.

At best, this book might – just might – be Morrison’s comment on the upcoming Before Watchmen series. However, at worst it is, for all intents and purposes, a giant and ringing “fuck you” to just about any human being anywhere who might touch it, with the possible exception of Morrison himself. But that’s okay, because that gives me something to do.

Crisis On Infinite Midlives Podcast Episode 9: Doublefisting Justice

I know what you’re saying: “Rob,” you’re saying, “It has been a month since Amanda’s and your last podcast. What’s the occasion?” Which would be an excellent question had Avengers not opened in American theaters last Friday, so asking it makes you look foolish. So stop it. You’re better than that.

Here is the pure hell of being editors of a comics Web site: Amanda and I watched Avengers together Saturday afternoon, and rather than discuss it, we agreed to see it again on Sunday… and still not discuss it until we got home and did it into microphones. And discuss it we did; in this Avengers podcast, we discuss:

• The Avengers 3D vs. 2D Experience from the point of view of people getting old with slowly failing vision!
• The Hulk: Great Avenger or Greatest Avenger?
• The Hulk can lift tanks, so why can’t he carry his own movie?
• Our Friend, The Thrice-Nightly Screening, or: Why Can’t Johnny Edit?
• Black Widow as best developed Avenger (insert your own boob joke here)!
• Hawkeye: Redundant Avenger or Redundant Avenger?
• I Can Has Justis Leeg Moovee Nao?, and:
• AAAvengers: who do we want to bring up from the minors?

As always, if you intend to listen to this at work, we recommend you wear headphones unless you want your boss to hear phrases like, “Lokif***er,” “Mjolnir… is not the hammer,” or, “You just want a Dirty Ruffalo!” Besides, with headphones, if you listen really close, you can hear two grown comics geeks misidentifying S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent Sharon Carter as Ms. Marvel!

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:01:44 — 56.5MB)

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Android | Google Play | Stitcher | TuneIn | RSS | More

Enjoy the show, suckers!

(Avengers Booty Ass-emble via Kevin Bolk)

Further Adventures In Digital Comics – Review Of Hopeless, Maine: Personal Demons #1

Spent from a road trip to catch The Avengers with Rob, Trebuchet, and Pixiestyx, I found myself with barely enough energy to stare blankly at ladies in silly hats during the three hour coverage of the Kentucky Derby yesterday on the TV. Fun fact: only about 4 minutes of the race coverage is about the race. The rest is about women in silly hats, bemoaning how other women’s silly hats invade their “hatmosphere”. There is also a fair amount of bourbon and “My Old Kentucky Home” karaoke sing-a-long. I could have played along with the bourbon part at home, which would have helped with both the “hatmosphere” and the karaoke. Unfortunately, Rob is on antibiotics this week as he nurses a vicious stab wound obtained while refereeing “Bum Fights For A Week’s Worth Of Coors Light Empties”. What can I say? We live in an interesting neighborhood. So, anyway, I was trying to show solidarity by joining him in the not drinking.

Eager to find a diversion for my sobriety, I turned to the Comixology app for my smartphone. I worked my way down to the “Digital Firsts” section. I’ve really been trying to only use the app for books that are only available digitally, since I like to support our LCS, where the owner knows us by name and has asked Rob to stop hosting the bum fights on the sidewalk outside the store because it’s “bad for business”. Recently, Archaia has digitally released part one of a graphic novel called Hopeless, Maine, by Nimue and Tom Brown. Nimue is an author and Tom is an artist. Hopeless, Maine began its life as a Web comic, which is up to two booksworth of material on their site. The digital download of Hopeless, Maine: Personal Demons Part One contains chapters 1 and 2 of the first book in the series. So, what’s it about?

Hopeless, Maine is a little, forgotten island where many of the children have become orphaned through mysterious circumstances. There are magic and strange creatures. Chapters 1 and 2 center around orphan Salamandra, a young girl who greets the reader on the opening page of the story by informing us that “my mother wants to drink me”. Okay, Salamandra: you have my attention.

Can Salamandra’s tale distract me from my own strange world of silly hats and bum fights? Spoilers and more after the jump.