Purple-Headed Warrior: Hawkeye #1 Review

From one point of view, Matt Fraction’s and David Aja’s Hawkeye #1 is a truly crappy Hawkeye comic book. Hawkeye doesn’t appear in costume for more than five panels, and he is getting the shit kicked out of him for each and every one of those panels. Other than those five illustrations, Hawkeye never holds a bow, we never see an arrow, there are no other Avengers, and there is a cab ride instead of a bitchin’ skycycle run.

So yeah: as a traditional Hawkeye comic book, one could make the argument that this is a pile of shit, an experience akin to buying a porno with certain expectations in your mind (and pants), and finding you’ve taken home a 90-minute video of a fully-clothed woman repeating, “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” The elements are there, but it’s not what one necessarily wants from an item of that type.

However, some dingbat could also make the argument that it would be a colossal disappointment to open a box of Cracker Jacks and finding a giant wad of gold bullion – just because it’s not what you expected based on your prior experiences doesn’t make it bad. Rather, Hawkeye #1 is a pulpy, character-driven, street-level crime story that not only made me care about the purple-headed warrior (get it?) for the first time almost ever, but which is arguably the best comic book you’ll read this week.

Multiple Redundancies: SDCC 2013 Pre-Registration Is Over

And that’s that. Preregistration for San Diego Comic-Con for those who attended as members this year opened at 8 a.m. Pacific Time yesterday… and closed at about 9:20 a.m. thereafter.

Unlike other years, which for us have entailed either obtaining our four-day passes for the currently-starting convention and immediately doing a 180 to get in line to obtain passes for the following year, or, as last year, setting an alarm for 4:30 a.m. to catch a cab to the Hyatt to the right of the San Diego Convention Center… and then walking to the end of the line near the Hilton to the left of the San Diego Convention Center to wait for five hours to purchase the next year’s passes, this was a relatively bloodless affair. Simply log into a particular URL with your favorite Web browser, upon which you pressed the Big Green Button, and were directed to a virtual waiting room, which told you what your place in line was. Every two minutes, the page would update, and tell you how far along you were. All in all, it was simple… except for the fact that it was anything but. Not if you wanted to make sure that you could go.

Can has Goblin? Beasts of Burden: Neighborhood Watch One-Shot Review

As Trebuchet can attest to, I often amuse myself to no end anthropomorphizing our dogs. So, although I’m late to the party in learning about the existence of these characters, I knew I had to pick up a copy as soon as I saw the description for Beasts of Burden in the weekly Dark Horse Digital newsletter:

The four-legged occult-investigating team—a heroic gang of dogs and one cat—are doing their best to protect their home, Burden Hill, from a chicken-stealing goblin, a frightful basilisk, and a strange lost herd of sheep!

Beasts of Burden: Neighborhood Watch is actually a collection of three short stories originally printed in Dark Horse Presents #4, 6, & 8 back in 2011.

Food Run sets the stage with Rex (dog) and Orphan (cat) teaming up to take on the aforementioned chicken-stealing goblin. I was immediately drawn into the world by Evan Dorkin’s dialog and Jill Thompson’s beautiful watercolor illustrations. Food Run is fast-paced and action-oriented, and at its conclusion, I couldn’t wait to dig into the rest of the book.

62 Dicks: Black Kiss 2 #1 Review

Yup, 62. I counted them.

Black Kiss 2 is the sequel to a 1988 story about the hunt for the Vatican’s pornography and the transsexual vampires who stole it, so you should have some idea of what reading this story entails. At my local comic store, where they know me by name and ask me to remember that Juggs isn’t a comic book, they kept Black Kiss 2 #1 behind the counter, and at this college town comic store in Godless, liberal Boston, they never keep books behind the counter. “I normally don’t do this,” the owner told me, “But it’s summertime, and I couldn’t risk some kid coming in, finding it, and bringing in all his little buddies for a cheap thrill.” So I asked him for a copy and some Vaseline. But I digress.

The point is that Black Kiss 2 isn’t gonna be for everyone, or if fact, anyone if they’re younger than, say, 16 years old (by then, they’re old enough to get around any nanny software on their computers, and have seen all this stuff anyway). It is sexually explicit, and considering it is a story about demons and vampires, we’re not talking airbrushed Playboy sexually explicit. It’s not Two Girls, One Cup, but you should ask yourself how you feel about tentacle porn before you put on your raincoat and sunglasses and ask your friendly comic retailer for a copy.

Brain Bleach – Watch Out For Creeping Latex; Don’t Eat The Yellow Snow.

A couple of quick things for a Friday afternoon. First of all, check out Bleeding Cool for a gallery of some the coolest Venom cosplay to ever get banned from Facebook. Here’s a little sample to get your attention:
 

 
Apparently, Facebook took issue with photographer Adam Jay‘s subject’s semi nudity, despite the fact that there are other photos all over Facebook, including whole groups that participate in latex play (seriously, Google “Facebook+ latex”). What a shame.

After the jump, a short film illustrating the lack of dog curbing laws in the neighborhood of Superman’s Fortress Of Solitude.

Does Whatever A Spider Can: Avengers Vs. X-Men #9 Review

Editor’s Note: Does he spoil? Listen bub: he’s got Jack Daniels infected blood!

If you are a Spider-Man fan, you will find Avengers Vs. X-Men #9 to be about the most satisfying issue of the crossover event so far. It hammers home his philosophy of “With great power comes great responsibility” without actually saying the words for a change, it plays to his strengths as a character, and it allows this street-level hero to have a distinct and concrete impact on a cosmic-level story in a way that is true to the character, and satisfying for people who love him.

It also has a marital collapse. And it sets up the savage beating of one of the biggest douchecanoes in modern superhero comics. So there’s not a lot of downside here.

Doctor Who Season 7 Trailer – Daleks, Dinosaurs, And Death?

Whovians who have embraced Amy Pond, Weeping Angels, and Steven Moffat, rejoice! Your tonic of choice is set to return to the airwaves August 25th. Of course, if you happen to be at the Edinbugh International Television Festival, which begins on August 23rd, you may get to see it before it officially hits the TV. Either way, Season 7 sees the return of Doctor Who to television after a particularly long hiatus. Amy and Rory will rejoin the Doctor for at least the first part of the season. Well, probably at least until this happens during a fight with some Daleks:

Does Amy actually cash in her chips this season? Check out the trailer after the jump!

Lines Online: SDCC 2013 Passes For Previous Attendees On Sale Saturday

Update, 4:20 p.m. According to CCI, passes with Preview Night will, in fact, be available when they go on sale this Saturday:

Hi Rob,

Yes, 4 Day badges with Preview Night will be available. For badge pricing information, please use the following link: http://comic-con.org/cci/cci_reg.php

Thank you.

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As I intimated last night (But was frankly too drunk to elaborate on at the time), the word has gone out that advance sales for passes to San Diego Comic-Con 2013 for people who purchased passes for this year’s SDCC will go on sale online Saturday, August 4th, at 8 a.m. Pacific Time.

Here’s the deal: if you had an actual purchased pass for SDCC 2012 – press, pros and exhibitors need not apply – you’re eligible for the advance sale (You can find out if you can be in on the action here, using your SDCC 2012 member ID).

Future Shock

I was originally intending to write a pithy joke or two about this week’s comic take, but as I literally sat down to write, I received the email from Comic-Con International announcing that the presale for SDCC 2013 passes for people who attended this year’s SDCC will be occurring this coming Saturday, and Amanda and I have spent the last ten minutes figuring out how to divide our efforts across multiple networks to maximize our odds (helpful hint: I will be using my work Internet in ways that violate my employee handbook. And after I wipe my dick off, I will try to buy SDCC passes).

So fuck the jokes; we have been to our local comic store, which means that this…

…means the end of our broadcast day.

But SDCC presales or no, this is one hell of a week of comics. Biggest and bestest, we have Howard Chaykin’s first issue of his sequel to his classic (and filthy) 1980s classic Black Kiss, along with setup of the Rotworld crossover in Animal Man and Swamp Thing, a new issue of Avengers Vs. X-Men, a new Mark Waid Daredevil, and a bunch of other cool stuff!

But before we can review it, we need to figure out how many browsers we can have refreshing at once on Saturday, and we need to read the comics. So until that time…

See you tomorrow, suckers!

Your… Name… Is…: New Green Lantern Name Revealed

Ever since DC Comics revealed the cover to Green Lantern #0, and certainly during all the Green Lantern-related panels at SDCC, the big question has been: who is the new Green Lantern who’s carrying the gun? And how will he factor into the upcoming Third Army crossover event? And what does he have against sleeves? And will the man with his finger stuck through someone’s ring go off half-cocked against the angry, purple headed aliens? And why do I suddenly feel like I need a shower?

Well, thanks to the Diamond / Previews Website and its solicitation for Green Lantern #13, we have the answers to all your questions! Y’know, provided your only question is, “What’s the new Green Lantern’s first name?”