The Dark Whowhatnow Prologue?

It’s 10 p.m. on Thursday, and you should hurry up and look… because it won’t be here by 11.

What’s Green, Scaly And Russian In Origin?

So, this an image that may or may not be conceptual art for the Lizard in the Spider-Man movie reboot popped up on the Russian Web site, Spider Media. Yes, it does have a “.ru” in the address. No, it is not babushka porn. Settle down. Google Translate tells me all the Cyrillic comes out to “SpiderMedia.RU : Comics, Movies, Superheroes, Games, Action Figures, Animation, News, Reviews” and at this stage no Red Dawn malware seems to have been installed on my computer, so, as far as I can tell, these are our people. And they probably have vodka, so take a look and tell me if you think this art looks pretty close to the Steve Ditko art I’ve shopped in next to it:

This man could definitely sit down and have a chat with you about the heartbreak of psoriasis...but he'd probably just eat your face.

It’d be nice if the creatures created actually looked like they came from the comic book the movie was about, right?

Sure, as Bleeding Cool pointed out, this has been released conveniently close to the promotional Pez dispenser reveal, but, who cares? It’s certainly better than the costume they came up with for the Green Goblin in the first movie. Hell, they could probably use a green Sharpie to draw scales on a greenman suit and it would look better than the Green Goblin costume for the first movie.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to go satisfy my craving for Pez and vodka.

…That Thing That Makes You Feel Like A God: Whedon on Wonder Woman

We’re gonna gamble on the giant longshot that there’s any interest whatsoever about Joss Whedon on the Internet and point out that he just did a reasonably extensive interview online (No, not with us. The only way Joss Whedon would answer any of our questions would be if the first one was, “Do you want to see your dog alive again?”).

Most of the interview centers around his upcoming quickie release of Shakespeare’s Much Ado About Nothing, but he also drops a few tidbits about what his long-gestating and ultimately doomed movie adaptation of Wonder Woman might have been like:

She was very powerful and very naïve about people, and the fact that she was a goddess was how I eventually found my in to her humanity and vulnerability…

Hmm… did I accidentally dial up an interview with Ted Bundy?

More Hot Pig On Frog Action – Muppets Make Parody Of Parody Trailers

Over on The Mary Sue, they’ve been keeping track of all the various parody trailers that have been released this past year to promote The Muppets, a new installation of Muppet zaniness that is written by (and stars) Jason Siegel. One of the trailer parodies was even Green Lantern themed.

What does the new one spoof? Among other things Paranormal Activity, Twilight: Breaking Dawn and, well, itself:

The Muppets hits theaters nationwide November 23, 2011. Go blow off your Thanksgiving preparations and support interspecies dating, mediocre ursine comedians who wear farty shoes and Jason Siegel’s continued attempts to work on projects that are not How I Met Your Mother, animated, or produced by Judd Apatow. Stay strong. I believe in you, man.

Speak Low If You Speak Love. Or Tweet It. It Is The 21st Century After All. – Joss Whedon Has A Project

No one in this picture looks like a young-ish Ron Howard. No one.

Apparently, it started with something like “Hey, guys! Let’s make a movie!” Twelve days and a whole boot camp of Shakespeare later, Joss Whedon, according to Whedonesque, has completed principal photography on Much Ado About Nothing. Somehow this was doable, despite being ass deep in The Avengers. Why do you only write and direct movies about superheroes, Mr. Whedon? Apparently, at that sort of pace, you may actually be one.

Leaked Exclusive(ish) Avengers (Related) Footage!

At last weekend’s New York Comic Con, Marvel Studios debuted the first new footage from the upcoming Joss Whedon-directed Avengers movie to be screened since the official trailer dropped last week.

Before showing the new footage, the panel’s moderator admonished the crowd not to film the footage, with Mark Ruffalo warning attendees: “Don’t make me angry.”

But someone did film the footage…

…or at least we assume that someone did, because people are like that. But no matter how much Irished-up coffee we pour down our heads to make the search longer and more interesting, we can’t find the fucking thing online yet. Sorry about that.

But to appease those who may have wandered here from our dishonest, Google-whoring headline, we do have the new Clark Gregg-starred Phil Coulson: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. short, A Funny Thing Happened On The Way to Thor’s Hammer, in its entirety, after the jump.

The Mighty Scoobies… I Mean Avengers Trailer

Okay, so by process of elimination, Black Widow has to be Buffy. So the immortal creature for whom she futilely pines, again, by process of elimination, has to be Thor (If Buffy boned Angel he’d lose his soul. If Black Widow nails Thor she’ll lose her spine… unless there’s a “Condom of Thor” part of Viking myth I’m not familiar with… and if there is, I don’t want to know how it knows “if he be worthy“).

The powerful blond guy who threatens to make it a love triangle has to be Captain America. The non-powered, wisecracking Scooby has to be Iron Man, which means that Willow, the former nerd who discovers great, almost uncontrollable power by embracing the dark side… well hell, by process of elimination, that means that Willow has to be The Hulk. Tough break, Bruce… although it explains the name “Bruce”.

So that means that Hawkeye’s Dawn. Wow… once I said that, it was the first time I irrationally and viscerally hated Hawkeye’s face. Anyway…

As promised in yesterday’s podcast, the trailer for Marvel’s Joss Whedon-directed The Avengers appears after the jump.

Batman Year One: I Can Has Batman?

Let’s start with a little in the way of full disclosure: we here at Crisis On Infinite Midlives are big fans of Warner Brothers’ / DC Comics animation. We could talk about our shelves full of Bruce Timm / Paul Dini Batman, Batman Beyond and Justice League DVDs, or our epic weekends screening all four seasons of Batman: The Animated Series while drinking a concoction we like to call Venom (Protip: the secret ingredients are Rebel Yell bourbon and Wild Cherry Jolt Cola – because you can’t find this shit in the States), but I won’t.

Because frankly, this picture of the Crisis On Infinite Midlives’ Home Office TV room art centerpiece is worth a thousand words… all of those words being “geek”.

Which is part why we are so excited about the impending release of WB Animation’s adaptation of Frank Miller’s Batman: Year One on October 11th on the video on demand service of your choice, and on October 18th on DVD and Blu-Ray. The other part is that, after five weeks of DC New 52 books were Batman lubes his Batpole with every trollop in Gotham City, it’s nice to see a Batman who saves pussy rather than trolling for it, as he does in this second released clip from the flick:

What’s Wrong With This Picture – Splitting Hairs On The Man Of Steel Movie

First we had hipster Superman. Now we have…hippy?

Left: Russell Crowe as Jor-El. Right: Henry Cavill as Homeless Moe

Both Topless Robot and Newsarama are carrying first looks at the new Man of Steel movie, to be directed by Zack Snyder. Gotta say, Kal-El and his dad are looking a little…scruffy. I supposed Jor-El has an excuse. Who has time to shave when your planet is falling down all around you? But, Superman? This movie supposedly has a budget of around $175 million. You prop people can’t spring for some glasses for the man when he’s disguised as Clark Kent? Really? Or some hair dye for Amy Adams (Lois Lane):

LOL, what?

I think casting got confused when they heard the word “Lois”:

We're now going to throw this to our Asian reporter, Trisha Takanawa, who we've decided to cast as a Sioux midget.

Exclusive Pictures of Pussy!

Some celebrity gossip site called Just Jared got their hands on some more pictures of Anne Hathaway in the Catwoman costume she’s wearing for The Dark Knight Rises.

Here’s one; you can go here for the rest if you don’t mind that their second top story is about Justin Bieber going to Chik-Fil-A… and if you do mind (Please God, if you’re reading this Web site, tell me you fucking mind), Bleeding Cool has all the pictures plus a few more exclusives you can check out.

There seems to be a lot of negative buzz in the comics world about the new costume ever since the first official photo of Hathaway in the suit came out about a month and a half ago – not enough cat ear, too much cat ear but the mask is stupid, no tail, the high heels are dumb for a cat suit – all of which make comics people look less like they’re interested in a good Batman movie and more like petulant, disappointed furries losing their boners.