The Other… Hurts: First Clip From Animated The Dark Knight Returns

With all the recent excitement surrounding Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight Rises, it’s easy to forget that DC / Warner Bros. is busy putting the finishing touches on the TDKR movie that anyone who was reading comics in the late 1980s really cares about: the animated adaptation of Frank Miller’s The Dark Knight Returns.

As someone who owns the first print issues of The Dark Knight Returns, plus the first print of the trade paperback, and the Longmeadow Press leather-bound Complete Frank Miller Batman from 1989 (including both The Dark Knight Returns and Batman: Year One, and no, it is not for sale), I am damned excited for this flick… and yet disappointed that we are getting it as an animated feature. Because any comic fan around 40 years old had dozens of conversations between 1986 and say, 1996, about who to cast in a live-action version of Dark Knight. My 1988 money was on Lee Marvin as Batman, Anthony Perkins as The Joker, and Christopher Reeve back as Superman… and given all their current availability, I guess I’ll stick with the animated version.

Anyway, DC and Warner Bros. have released the first complete clip from the first part of the movie (It’ll be two DVDs or Blu-Rays), and despite being only a minute or so long, I think you’ll see at least one familiar image… from both The Dark Knight Returns and The Dark Knight Rises.

The Avengers: Making You Gag Since 2012

The Avengers is scheduled to be released on DVD and Blu-Ray on September 25th, and what with this being 2012, that means that pirated rips of the four-disc set are reportedly starting to appear in the darker corners of the Internet.

This further means that some of the special features from the disc, including deleted scenes and extra documentaries and production clips, are beginning to trickle to YouTube, where they pop up for a while before being inevitably smacked down by Disney for copyright violations.

So if you want to see, say, a deleted scene fleshing out the relationship between Hypnotized Hawkeye and Loki, or maybe the gag reel from the movie? Well, I’d click through the jump and check it out sooner rather than later…

Face Melting: Raiders of The Lost Ark In IMAX For One Week

The Indiana Jones trilogy, plus some other movie with Shia LaBeouf that I refuse to admit exists, is coming out on Blu-Ray in a high-definition transfer on September 18th, But rather than simply passively suck in all that sweet, sweet free money from people like me who will buy the new set despite having owned it on both VHS and DVD (y’know, minus that fourth “bonus” disc that none of us will ever, ever watch), director Steven Spielberg will be releasing the remastered Raiders of The Lost Ark in AMC IMAX theaters for one week only, starting September 7th.

On one hand this is good news… except for the fact that no matter how good the new HD IMAX transfer looks, it still means that I’ll be in a dark room seeing seven-foot spiders crawling on Alfred Molina’s back without even the benefit of PCP-sprayed dirtweed to blame. But the problem is that Spielberg and Raiders producer George Lucas have a… shall we say reputation… for taking the opportunity that a digital remaster offers to a filmmaker to make a few tweaks, adjustments and terrible abominations to the original film. Let’s just say that I was Elliot’s age when E.T.: The Extra Terrestrial was originally released, and if I were riding my bike and came across an FBI agent in a suit carrying a walkie-talkie? I’d have saved E.T.’s energy and just mowed the giant pussy down.

Waltos Demands Sequel Consistancy: Joss Whedon Signs For Avengers Sequel

And there came a day, a day unlike any other, when Earth’s Mightiest Frozen CEO awoke from his slumber and said, “Guys: don’t be dicks. The Avengers is the third-highest grossing movie since the invention of light. Why don’t we hire the guy that, you know… did that, and see if we can’t get lucky and only get a fraction of those profits and make only a third of a billion dollars next time around. Waltos… has… SPOKEN!” Then Waltos made out with death, fingerfucked Minnie, went back into his sarcophagus and lo and behold!

Joss Whedon was hired to write and direct Avengers 2.

Ready For More Batman? Animated Dark Knight Returns – Part One Trailer Now Online

On the off chance that Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight Rises was too upbeat and happy ending oriented for you, hardcore Batman fans can now look forward to an animated version of Frank Miller’s 1986 classic, The Dark Knight Returns,…if they can overlook Robocop Peter Weller in place of Kevin Conroy as the voice of The Batman.

The animated feature follows the same premise as the graphic novel – a retired Batman coming back to protect Gotham from a brutal gang called The Mutants, who have come into possession of military grade weapons. He takes on a new Robin, a young girl named Carrie Kelly. She will be voiced by Ariel Winter. Harvey Dent/Two-Face (Wade William) and Commissioner Gordon (David Selby) also make appearances.

Check out the trailer after the jump!

Cloud Atlas Extended Six Minute Trailer Hits The Internet

Cloud Atlas, the new movie from the Wachowski brothers and Tom Tykwer, debuted an extended six minute trailer on the Web today. Having seen the trailer now, it looks like it will serve up some trippy Inception level cinema, with a storyline that spans across centuries.

Here’s a summary of the novel it’s based on, via io9:

A reluctant voyager crossing the Pacific in 1850; a disinherited composer blagging a precarious livelihood in between-the-wars Belgium; a high-minded journalist in Governor Reagan’s California; a vanity publisher fleeing his gangland creditors; a genetically modified “dinery server” on death-row; and Zachry, a young Pacific Islander witnessing the nightfall of science and civilisation — the narrators of Cloud Atlas hear each other’s echoes down the corridor of history, and their destinies are changed in ways great and small.

In his captivating third novel, David Mitchell erases the boundaries of language, genre and time to offer a meditation on humanity’s dangerous will to power, and where it may lead us.

Check out the trailer (for as long as Warner Brothers lets it stay out in the wild) after the jump.

Man Of Filthy, Dirty, Bootlegged Steel

We here at the Crisis On Infinite Midlives Home Office got excited by the sanitized and truncated Man Of Steel trailer from the The Dark Knight Rises screening trailer, but it really felt like a trailer built on practical footage, with the single special effects shot shoehorned in to prove it was an actual movie.

We thought that because we had too much to do, and too much self-respect, to spend nineteen hours in the Hall H lane to see whatever they were calling the “extended trailer” at SDCC. We figured that all there was to see would be in the Dark Knight theatrical trailer.

We were wrong.

After the jump, is a hand-filmed and certain-to-be-deleted video from the SDCC Hall H Man Of Steel panel, showing far more (badly focused) Superman footage than the actual theatrical trailer. So, until someone gets wise and yanks the footage: enjoy the Man Of Steel SDCC 2012 trailer, in rotten, unfocused cell phone video!

Something To Look Forward To: Man Of Steel Trailer Released Online

Despite recent events that may have put some people off, we were able to catch a matinee of The Dark Knight Rises yesterday… and we will probably not comment extensively on those events, because they have nothing whatsoever to do with comic books or geek culture other than the setting. Sure, the dipshit who did the shootings told cops that he was The Joker, but that’s got nothing to do with the comics or the movies. Son of Sam said his neighbor’s fucking pit bull told him to whack out strangers, and I doubt you saw Dog Fancy magazine wringing their hands over what it meant for public perception of dog owners.

Everyone say it with me: James Holmes is a spastic and a monster, but his is a crime story, and not a comics story. Settled? Good.

Because I don’t want to talk about that cocknozzle, and due to a busy day, I don’t have time to talk about The Dark Knight Rises in any detail today. But one interesting new thing that we took from the event was the first trailer for Zack Snyder’s reboot of Superman, Man of Steel. Which a week ago, if you wanted to see it, was worth hours of your time in line for Hall H at SDCC 2012, but which now is available online. Meaning it is available here, right after the jump.

Conan O’Brien Finds Link Between TDKR Baine And Mitt Romney (Bane)

So, on Tuesday I guess Rush Limbagh said some nonsense about how the villain in The Dark Knight Rises, Bane, is actually supposed to be a liberal slam against Mitt Romney and his former company Bain Capital. Really. Here’s the quote:

Have you heard, this new movie, the Batman movie — what is it, the Dark Knight Lights Up or something? Whatever the name of it is. That’s right, Dark Knight Rises, Lights Up, same thing. Do you know the name of the villain in this movie? Bane. The villain in the Dark Knight Rises is named Bane. B-A-N-E. What is the name of the venture capital firm that Romney ran, and around which there’s now this make-believe controversy? Bain. The movie has been in the works for a long time, the release date’s been known, summer 2012 for a long time. Do you think that it is accidental, that the name of the really vicious, fire-breathing, four-eyed, whatever-it-is villain in this movie is named Bane? … Anyway, so this evil villain in the new Batman movie is named Bane. And there’s now discussion out there as to whether or not this was purposeful, and whether or not it will influence voters. It’s going to have a lot of people. This movie, the audience is going to be huge, lot of people are going to see the movie. And it’s a lot of brain-dead people, entertainment, the pop culture crowd. And they’re going to hear ‘Bane’ in the movie, and they are going to associate Bain. And the thought is that when they start paying attention to the campaign later in the year, and Obama and the Democrats keep talking about Bain, not Bain Capital, but Bain, Romney and Bain, that these people will think back to the Batman movie — “Oh yeah, I know who that is.” There are some people who think it will work. There are some people think it will work. Others think — “You’re really underestimating the American people who think that will work.”

I’d say his statements must make the folks over at Southeast Missouri State University really proud of him, but he never actually graduated from there. Bane, the Batman villain, was created in 1993, Rush. Even if you don’t have a full college education, Google is your fucking friend, buddy.

Meanwhile, leave it to the fine staff at Conan O’Brien to poke further fun at this ridiculous statement.

The Dark Knight Rises is in theaters now.

(Intellectual Property) Crime And Punishment: Thomas Jane Debuts Punisher Fan Film at SDCC 2012

We are back in the Crisis On Infinite Midlives Home Office with wretched reverse jetlag and crippling hangovers. And while I am working on my recap of Sunday’s The Amazing Spider-Man panel by Marvel (Teaser: it wasn’t really about Spider-Man!), I have learned that, while we were frittering around in actual comics panels on Sunday, Thomas Jane, the actor who played The Punisher in the 2004 movie adaptation and therefore had the unique joy of blowing John Travolta’s head off, ran a panel to promote his Raw Studios project that he started with cover artist Tim Bradstreet.

And at that panel, Jane debuted a new Punisher movie. Not an authorized Marvel Studios picture, and not a true sequel to his Punisher flick, but a ten-minute long fan film. Which rumor has it is better than, frankly (“Frank.” Ha!) both Jane’s original edition and the Punisher: War Zone move that came out a couple years ago. The dude fronted his own money, and got a cameo from Ron Perlman, to put it together. Why? Who knows? Maybe he’s courting Marvel Studios to get the nod for another round at the front of a full-on Punisher movie. Or maybe he’s just a giant comics geek (I’ve read that the dude went to the Rocketeer anniversary screening wearing a full Rocketeer costume) who wanted to make something really fucking cool. Regardless, I’m bummed I missed that screening.

What’s that, Internet? We have the video? And it’s right after the jump?