…And The Omega: Spider-Man Gets A Sidekick

When Brian Michael Bendis had Spider-Man join The New Avengers a few years ago, I remember hearing grumblings amongst the regulars at my local comic store, where the know me by name and ask to remember that “that’s not a web shooter, and please don’t wave it at the paying customers while shouting ‘thwip!'” that having Spider-Man join a team would take away the whole outcast loner vibe that was part of what made the character unique.

That was 2005. It is now 2012, and after having had Spider-Man join not only The New Avengers, but also the Avengers proper and The Fantastic Four, Marvel has made it clear that they haven’t forgotten Spidey’s long and storied history as a loner, and that they intend to celebrate that history by giving him a teenaged sidekick!

Wait, what?

Getting It Coming And Going – DC Announces Final New 52 Cancellations, New #0 Issues

As Rob pointed out this past Saturday, DC was in the process of cancelling four titles to make way for new series Talon, Team Seven, The Phantom Stranger, and Sword Of Sorcery. While only Justice League International had been confirmed at the time, DC has now also announced the cancellations of Voodoo, Resurrection Man, and Captain Atom. All four titles will have their own #0 issues in September and then get put to bed. I guess the good news is that Red Hood And The Outlaws and Deathstroke: My Secret Space Romance With Lobo will still continue to be published. I supposed illiterate people need stuff to look at and line hamster cages with, too.

But…but…what do we get in return for this great *cough* sacrifice *cough*?

52 Problems But A Bwah-Hah-Hah Ain’t One: DC’s Third Wave

We’re coming up on a year since DC Comics rebooted their universe with the New 52, and by the time that year ticks over, we’ll already be down to 42… which, knowing comics, will still not be the Ultimate Answer.

On top of the cancellations of original New 52 titles Men of War, Mister Terrific, O.M.A.C., Static Shock, Blackhawks, and Pile of Steaming Shit (Whoops! I meant Hawk And Dove! Damn those typos!) back in January, DC recently announced that they were cancelling Justice League International, rebooted from the 80s classic Giffen / Dematteis / Maguire title by creative team Dan Jurgens and Aaron Lopresti, at the one year mark. At that time, DC kicked off six new books to keep the number of monthlies at 52, merely for the purposes of marketing and not because Dan DiDio can only remember two double-digit numbers at once and can’t (or won’t) forget “69”, as has been rumored by sources I just made up.

Well, it is now June, and DC has just announced that they will be launching four new monthly comics come July, which means that barring additional cancellations, DC would be carrying 55 books, a number which Dan can’t remember, nor drive, nor use to easily keep track of the age of consent (We kid, Dan! Bring back your Sunday “We Love Comics!” panel at SDCC this year!).

However, let’s start with the new books launching in September:

Jim Lee – Stepping Down From Justice League Already?

It’s not even a year yet, but Bleeding Cool is running an article that reports DC is “making a number of approaches to what could only be described as the A-List of modern comics to sign up for a twelve issue run on Justice League, to replace Jim Lee.” While Geoff Johns will remain on the book as the writer, apparently DC is looking to lock down art talent for the next few years – including as yet unnamed individuals who are currently working for Marvel. Oooo! The plot thickens!

Just who could or would step into Jim Lee’s shoes? Could it be frequent Johns’s collaborator, Ivan Reis? Would DC steal Marc Silvestri back from whatever projects he’s engaged in, assuming he’s done icing his shoulder after penciling those couple Incredible Hulk books last fall and that variant cover of The Walking Dead #100 for Robert Kirkman over at Image? Would DC lure Greg Land away from Marvel’s Uncanny X-Men to turn his pornbox light on for Wonder Woman?

Brain Bleach: Chef Chris Cosentino To Write Digital Wolverine One Shot.

Somehow I missed it back in April when it was announced at WonderCon that Incanto chef Chris Cosentino had been asked by Marvel to write an issue of Wolverine. Cosentino says that Marvel Senior VP Of Creator And Content Development, C.B. Cebulski, and he tweet a lot and that while Cebulski was a guest at Incanto he asked Cosentino if he’s be interested in writing a comic book. Cosentino says that his comic will be set in San Francisco, be food-centric, and have lots of giant robots. The book will officially be titled Wolverine: The Fifth Quarter (“the fifth quarter” being a nod to the food most commonly associated with Cosentino, offal) and the art will be done by Tim Seely (Hack/Slash).

With Anthony Bourdain set to release Get Jiro! in July, one does have to ask if this is going to turn into a growing trend. Can we expect one shot publicity stunts from other celebrity chefs? Would Emeril write Gambit? Gordon Ramsay pen The Hulk? Should we look forward to a Flash tale from Rachel “30 Minute Meals” Ray? I’m sure the answer is most likely “no”. At least I hope so. Maybe Bourdain and Cosentino will prove me wrong, but I’ve got a fifth of Old Crow that says we’re going to see exposition heavy text and a story that leans heavily on the art. Hell. I’m willing to drink Crow.

So, why is this back in the news today? Well, over on The Daily Meal, Cosentino has a video interview in which he promotes his new cookbook, Beginnings: My Way To Start a Meal, and also talks about his comic book at around 1:35 or so.

Wolverine: The Fifth Quarter is set for this June as a digital release.

…You Rent Them: The Tale of The ComiXology Backup Script

Earlier this week, some dude posted to the Reddit Comic Book board that he had written a short Bash script (for the technologically challenged, think an old Windows batch file with ambition) that would allow you to download any digital comics you purchased from ComiXology, strip the DRM (again, for the uninitiated, DRM stands for digital rights management, which is nothing but copy protection with an official-sounding acronym to make it sound intimidating, like “FBI,” “CIA” or “DIAF”), and convert them to a format you can store locally and read on anything. Clearly this is a young man with plenty of free time to spend frittering on coding and hanging around in courtrooms.

The script author even posted a copy of the script with detailed instructions on how you could use it to download copies of the books you bought from ComiXology. Isn’t that nice? Oh, don’t go searching for it – ComiXology caught wind of it and asked the kid to delete the script.

Ihre Papiere, Bitte, Or: Let’s See Some ID, Fat Indian Superman (If That Is Your Real Name)

San Diego Comic-Con is only six-ish weeks away, which takes it out of the ephemeral realm of “some thing I’ve been planning to do for 45 weeks” and puts it firmly in the area of “something concrete to look forward to other than the sweet, sweet release of death.”

That’s right: only six weeks before the biggest pop culture event of the year, with exciting comics news! Unparalleled access to the biggest comic creators and TV and movie stars! And random stops by red-shirted security goons, stopping you on your way to a photo op with a fat dude dressed as Batwoman, to ask for your papers.

Wait, what?

In Case You’ve Been Under A Rock On The Internet Today – Marvel’s Northstar And Boyfriend To Wed

As Rob teased yesterday, the hot topic for both Marvel and DC recently has been upping the profile of its gay characters, either by increasing their numbers or the prominence of their story lines. Today on The View, it was formally announced that in Astonishing X-Men #50, Northstar and his boyfriend Kyle will indeed wed. Here’s your invitation to the joyous event:

After the jump, check out the announcement of the impending nuptials by Whoopi Goldberg on The View. Please pardon the unfortunate “Now Batman and Robin can come out of the closet” comment by Joy Behar. She apparently is unaware that Robin is Damien, Batman’s son. Also, she’s not funny.

Astonishing View of Gay Marriage: X-Men Announcement on Tomorrow’s The View

According to Amanda, the Crisis On Infinite Midlives Social Media Director and Marketing Guru, it is safe to say that if you are a devotee and regular reader of this Web site, the research numbers indicate that you are a comics enthusiast, a geek culture devotee, and an unemployed degenerate alcoholic.

And demographic point number three indicates that you will be home tomorrow, watching daytime television and sobbing into your Mad Dog 20-20 Red Banana Flavored Semi-Gelatinous Bevaraje (because calling it “Beverage” would imply that it was legally intended for human consumption). Which means I am the bearer of good news! You’ll be around to see Barbara Walters and the other horrible, horrible harridans of ABC’s The View announce some of the details surrounding this week’s Astonishing X-Men #50!

Dan DiDio Enrages Royalty, Turns People Gay

Historically, Dan DiDio’s panels at San Diego Comic-Con are amongst my favorites every year. The dude has, at least publically, a visceral enthusiasm for DC Comics that is infectious to a crowd… but one which has a fine, keen edge, that isn’t difficult to strike off of true. When Dan’s forced off script, there can be unintended consequences, from unexpected revelations to real tension. Just ask San Diego Batgirl.

Well, this weekend is Mark Millar’s Kapow convention in London, Dan’s been doing panels, and has made a few interesting revelations about the immediate future of DC Comics… the first being that Wonder Woman, ambassador of peace from Paradise Island and the most famous strong female superhero ever created by a polyamorous bondage nut, might be preparing to kill us all.