We’ve seen a lot of cool things at San Diego Comic-Con over the past couple of days, but the Marvel Comic Avengers Vs. X-Men panel held this afternoon wasn’t one of them. Iron Man’s new armor from the upcoming Iron Man 3 movie was, so here it is. Get a good look? Good. Now let’s get back to the bad news.

Avengers Vs. X-Men is Marvel’s marquee summer event for 2012, and we are at about the midpoint of the story, and shit is heating up. We’ve got five X-Men possessed by the Phoenix Force, Hope is being trained by Iron Fist’s sensei to learn to repel the Phoenix, Tony Stark is working with Black Panther to find a way to defeat the Phoenix Force with a combination of science and magic, and Spider-Man is getting at least one of the best moments in a comic set in the 616 universe he’s had in years. So while the event isn’t perfect, there’s a lot of fan excitement around the event and what it has in store for us for the rest of the summer.

So it was with a palpable sense of excitement that we filled the third-biggest room at the San Diego Convention Center at 2:45 this afternoon to discover some tidbits about what the Marvel House of Ideas might have coming up for the fans.

Turns out? It’s hats.

One thing I’ve learned over several years of attending the San Diego Comic-Con is that DC Comics panels are more entertaining than Marvel panels. That’s a harsh reality but for me, a true one.

Panels from each company are jam-loaded with hype, and each does its damndest to try and whip the crowd into a screeching nerd frenzy, which is fine; Comic-Con panels aren’t press conferences, they’re public relations exercises that happen to include some pieces of legitimate comics news. And often that news is exciting – Neil Gaiman back on Sandman, anyone? – so I don’t blame either editorial staff for trying to whip the crowd into a slavering geek frenzy. But for me, the difference is that Marvel is just so self-congratulatory about things.

Here’s an example: last year, DC Comics blew up their entire universe and ran a real risk of alienating a huge chunk of their core audience. Instead, the move allowed DC to overtake Marvel in sales for he first time in recent memory, and their sales have reportedly stayed damn solid since then. We have attended no less than five DC panels so far at SDCC, and the biggest pat on the back DC gave themselves was when Bob Wayne opened the New 52 panel yesterday by asking the crowd how many people spent SDCC last year thinking that DC was insane for making the move… and followed up by asking why more people didn’t think that at the time.

Compare that to Marvel, who last year introduced a black / Hispanic Spider-Man. In the Ultimate Universe, which thanks to the recent 616 universe crossover in Spider-Men, is the equivalent of DC’s Earth 2 – a sandbox where Marvel can mess around with characters without it affecting the valuable core titles from which they make movies. Was is a bold move? Sure it was… but compared to blowing up your entire continuity, it’s about the same as comparing dropping a washer slug into a Coke machine to sticking up the Federal Reserve with a dynamite belt: one’s a little easier to walk back if the plan goes sideways.

However, if you listened to the panelists at yesterday’s Marvel Ultimate Universe panel, you’d think they cured the common cold. “This was a big risk,” said Marvel Editor in Chief Axel Alonso, “It was harder for us to kill [Peter Parker] than it was for you guys.” Alonso also said that the new Ultimate Spider-Man was the best work of Brian Michael Bendis’s career, and make no mistake: it’s a pretty good story, albeit utterly decompressed. But the hype was, personally, a little hard to take. My notes from the panel read, “Lot of ‘We’re so awesome and brave’ shit on the panel for killing Peter and having an Afr.-Am. kid as SM. There’s no news here, just fucking hype.”

And then Alonso announced that Ultimate Spider-Man artist David Marquez just signed an exclusive deal with Marvel. And my notes read, “There’s your news, writer prick.”

  • Getting ready to live tweet Marvel Ultimate Universe panel from room 6DE starting at 12:30pm PDT. #Marvel #SDCC #
  • #Marvel Ultimate Comics Universe begins! #SDCC #
  • Apparently, no one came cosplaying Miles Morales. #Marvel #SDCC #
  • Divided We Fall – elements of Ultimate Universe are scattered. Mutants are banding together and fighting back. #Marvel #SDCC #
  • Sam Humphries – America is destabilzed.The Southwest US are ravaged by Sentinels. World in chaos.Cap America off grid, finding self. #Marvel #
  • Cap America comes back to find a very changed country. Kitty Pride still significant in Ultimate X-men. #Marvel #
  • Ultimates 15 will be seismic, says Arune Singh. #Marvel #SDCC #
  • Cap is the wildcard of the Ultimates. – Sam Humphries, #Marvel #SDCC #
  • Ultimates 13-14 will have Easter egg hints. #Marvel #SDCC #
  • Ultimate X-Men leads the X-Men in issue 13. Ground level "on the road story" w/ James jr, Kitty, Bobby Drake. #Marvel #SDCC #
  • Follows how they become a team and become more powerful than they could imagine. #Marvel #SDCC #
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Axel Alonso "risk of Miles Morales has paid off", best work off Bendis's career. #Marvel #SDCC #
  • Sana Amanat loves Gambit. REALLY loves Gambit. Unrelated, but there it is. #Marvel #SDCC #
  • Sam Humphries would love an excuse to have Miles Morales crossover into the Ultimates so he can write him. #Marvel #SDCC #
  • David Marquez is now exclusive to #Marvel #SDCC #
  • Marquez will share duties on art with Sarah Pichelli on Ultimate Spider-Man "for the forseeable future". #Marvel #SDCC #
  • Spider-Men: Peter Parker travels via Mysterio to Ultimate universe and meets Miles Morales. #Marvel #SDCC #
  • Other Ultimates will appear in Spider-Men. Will be "big coming of age story for Miles". #Marvel #SDCC #
  • Ultimate Iron Man – will be written by Nathan Edmondson with art by Matteo Baffagni. #Marvel #SDCC #
  • Title of first arc is "Demon In The Armor". Villain will be The Mandarin. #UltimateIronMan #Marvel #SDCC #
  • Sam Humphries – the joy of the Ultimate universe is that you can do things to these characters that you can't do elsewhere. #Marvel #SDCC #
  • Ultimate Iron Man artist – Matteo Buffagni (typo before). #Marvel #SDCC #
  • New Ultimate Iron Man debuts in October 2012. #Marvel #SDCC #
  • Axel Alonso – "I do forsee a time when there will be Ultimate Infinite comics." #Marvel #SDCC #
  • Ultimate Squirrel Girl? Maybe! "My mind is racing", exclaims Sam Humphries in response to fan question. #Marvel #SDCC #
  • Getting ready to live tweet DC Green Lantern/Justice League panel in room 6DE at 1:45pm PDT. #DC #SDCC #
  • Yes! RT @pixiestyx: So excited to hear that Neil Gaiman’s Returning To Sandman! http://t.co/pnsxMxxu via @infinitemidlife #
  • Justic League 12- At end of arc some characters will leave. Next arc is about "who the team should be". Cheetah v Wonder Woman coming #DC #
  • Justice League events with Cheetah move into Trinity War. #DC #SDCC #
  • Identity of new Green Latern (who packs a gun!) will be revealed in Green Lantern 0. #DC #SDCC #
  • Green Corps 0 tells story of Guy Gardner, origin, "fall of Guy Gardner" (oops!). #DC #SDCC #
  • New Guardians 12 is where we find out why Kyle gets all the rings. Carol Ferris will be important in ongoing story. #DC #SDCC #
  • Guardians are "systematically hunting dow main players" in Third Army arc says Geoff Johns. #DC #SDCC #
  • Rise of Third Army is "prologue to something bigger" – Geoff Johns. #DC #SDCC #
  • Flash 13 – Gorilla Grod and his army invade Central City. Flash teams up w/ his Rogues Gallery in this arc. #DC #SDCC #
  • Earth 2 zero issue – follows the 8 wonders, different characters than current run (other than the Trinity). #DC #SDCC #
  • Earth 2 issue 13 – Alan Scott takes on Solomon Grundy, gets better understanding of his powers. Issue 5 – intro of Wesley Dodd. #DC #SDCC #
  • Justice League Dark 0 – Constantine and Zatanna love triangle with a "Moriarty" for Constantine. #DC #SDCC #
  • Frankenstein, Amethyst, Tim Hunter to join Justice League Dark. #DC #SDCC #
  • Second arc of Earth 2 is the government vs the Justice Society. Wildcat and Dr. Fate will be introduced. #DC #SDCC #
  • Geoff Johns has begun work on a sequel to Batman: Earth One with Gary Frank. #DC #SDCC #
  • Fan just asked panel who the Green Lantern of Krypton's sector was when it blew up and if Superman is pissed him. Excellent! #DC #SDCC #
  • Pissed at him. At. Prepositions are important. #DC #
  • Fan just asked if there could be a Justice League Australia, or JLOz. Geoff Johns says "sure!" #DC #SDCC #
  • James Robinson is open to an Earth 2/Gemworld crossover. #DC #SDCC #
  • Geoff Johns just revealed he will reintroduce the Metal Men to the New 52:#DC #SDCC #
  • Trying to live tweet Cup O' Joe panel, but signal sucks. #SDCC #Marvel #
  • Panel is opening with brief overview of AVX AND #Marvel NOW!, which they swear is not a reboot. Really. #SDCC #
  • Uncanny Avenger will be a team comprised equally of X-Men and Avengers. #Marvel #SDCC #
  • A+X is ongoing series post AVX from Dan Slott and Jeph Loeb. #Marvel #SDCC #
  • Also, look for AVX Consequences from Kieron Gillen. #Marvel #SDCC #
  • AVX Babies one shot in October 2012 from Skottie Young. #Marvel #SDCC #
  • #Marvel is using its AR app to do things like have Black Widow and Magik have conversation in Russian w/ AR translation during their fights. #
  • This #Marvel panel is mostly audience Q+A. #
  • RT @Comicverses: Joe Quesada at SDCC Friday: No news on Moore/Gaiman "MarvelMan" reprints. Why the hell did Marvel even buy this property? #
  • At room 6DE for #DC Comics – The New 52 panel. Will pass along live tweets if they pass along anything we haven't tweeted already. #SDCC #
  • Scott Lobdell is feeling needy today. #DC #ClassClown #SDCC #
  • Scott Snyder – Excited about writer James Tynion, his former student. Talon 0 is like "the DaVinci Code in Gotham". #DC #SDCC #
  • Rob Liefeld – there will be an event in the fall: "Hawkman – Wanted". Ties into several other characters. #DC #SDCC #
  • Dan Jurgens – Firestorm 13 will be back to one character. Focus on Ronnie Raymond, will be fun, teen oriented book. #DC #SDCC #
  • Superboy 0 – deals with history of cloning and its ramifications on Krypton. #DC #SDCC #
  • Superman 0 – focuses on Jor El and his feelings about finding out his wife was pregnant while Krypton is falling apart. #DC #SDCC #
  • Teen Titans spoiler – we will meet Bunker's boyfriend and find out how the BF deals with learning Bunker is a super hero. #DC #SDCC #
  • #SDCC 2011 Batgirl is in the line to ask #DC panel questions. Hope for the best. #
  • Scott Snyder was just awesome with little boy who asked about Robin in Batman 0. #DC #SDCC #
  • #SDCC 2011 Batgirl just asked nice question about Steph Brown in Smallville and brought panel presents? Hatchet buried? #DC #
  • Geoff Johns – "If you guys want a solo Shazam book, I'm sure it could happen." #DC #SDCC #
  • Ha! RT @markeithhost: @InfiniteMidlife : It's a trap! Duck!!! #
  • The same Darkseid will be attacking both New 52 and Earth 2 characters. Only one Darkseid, says Geoff Johns. #DC #SDCC #
  • You'd think so, right? RT @pixiestyx: Hmm…AVX Consequences and AVX Babies…not one in the same? #Marvel #
  • At room 6DE for #Vertigo #GetJiro panel. Starts at 5:30pm PDT. Expect live tweets as long as phone has juice. #SDCC #
  • #GetJiro panel starting now w/ Anthony Bourdain (@Bourdain ), Karen Berger, Joel Rose, and Langdon Foss. #Vertigo #SDCC #
  • See. @Bourdain is in the room. http://t.co/mv9T5pSE #
  • Doing a #GetJiro slide show. Audience is loving it, laughing, but comments around me suggest many members haven't read it. #Vertigo #
  • Lot of folks just here for famous @Bourdain. #GetJiro #Vertigo #
  • Fun fact – Bourdain was first published by Joel Rose. #Vertigo #SDCC #
  • Rose helped Bourdain work #GetJiro story into comic script. #Vertigo #SDCC #
  • Bourdain "When I first got my copy of the book, I just spent some time stroking it…the book…" #GetJiro #Vertigo #SDCC #
  • Bourdain + art staff on #GetJiro – food and kitchens had to be accurate for the foodie/chef readers above all.Rest could be playful.#Vertigo #
  • Bourdain – "There is a little part of me who, when seeing someone dip the rice from nigiri in the soy…stab 'em in the head…" #GetJiro #
  • And now, fan questions. Lot of folks here who are sweating foodie Kool Aid. #GetJiro #Vertigo #SDCC #
  • Sweaty fanboys/girls, sweating foodie Kool Aid. I say this and I'm a foodie. #GetJiro #Vertigo #SDCC #
  • Bourdain – "Layover 'Gotham' would be 'cool'". #GetJiro #Vertigo #SDCC #
  • Bourdain _ manga "Oshinbo" was an influence on #GetJiro #Vertigo #SDCC #
  • Bourdain suggested shots from No Reservations as photo reference for Langdon Foss in #GetJiro #Vertigo #SDCC #
  • Bourdain would be open to writing another #GetJiro adventure. #Vertigo #SDCC #
  • Bourdain saw LA in #GetJiro as a Gibonesque "Sprawl" with its rings of priviledge in the book. #Vertigo #SDCC #
  • Bourdain and Rose have "other ideas" for future comics, since hitting #1 on NY Times Graphic novel best seller list. #Vertigo #SDCC #
  • Langdon Foss was able to have creative freedom on fight scenes. No specific notes, other than one dismemberment given. #GetJiro #Vertigo #
  • Karen Berger – editor is there for objectivity + knows when to edit and when not to. -on editing #GetJiro "These guys are so easy!"#Vertigo #
  • Someone's started the black Tumbler over at the Batmobile exhibit. It sounds like an engine that runs on the ground bones of criminals.#SDCC #

Editor’s Note: I acknowledge that these pictures suck. We’ll upgrade our cameras once we receive your subscription check. Oh, you don’t pay for this? Then fuck you and enjoy the pictures you got.

Last year we kind of wandered into the panel for Scott Snyder’s American Vampire, mostly to make sure we’d have a seat for the DC New 52 panel that followed directly afterwards. Don’t get me wrong, we were following American Vampire in kind of a general way, but I had fallen away; the initial hype around one of the early stories being written by Stephen King hadn’t been enough to keep me in the book except in a “flip through when I happened to see it on the shelf” way. The point is that last year, we were able to walk right into Snyder’s panel without having to wait around in a line.

That was 2011. This year, Snyder’s writing Batman, which has consistently been one of the best books of DC’s New 52 and the source of the first post-reboot DC crossover event. So this time around, for the Batman panel yesterday? Yeah, we waited in line.

The Batman panel covered all the Batman family books, from Batman to Red Hood And The Outlaws… meaning walking in Amanda and I steeled ourselves for exciting news running the gamut from Batman’s post-Owls Joker encounter to Starfire’s post-Red Hood stranger’s penis encounter. However, weird former Teen Titan sex revelations or no, Snyder started the panel off with a laugh: “Avengers Vs. X-Men, who wins? Batman.” I hate it when my comic writers are funnier than I am. But I digress.

First of all people of San Diego: it’s a fucking e-cigarette. It emits water vapor. So please stop passive-aggressively giving me shit when I’m using it on a public sidewalk, out of doors and approaching the convention center, by muttering, “Nothing I like better than a faceful of cigarette smoke blowing into my baby’s face…” Let’s clear the air here (ha!): my e-cigarette emits no odor and bothers no one, unlike your little bundle of squalling fecal production. And since my e-cig doesn’t even burn, the San Diego Fire Marshall even considers it less of a fucking fire hazard.

Okay, I feel better now. Now that we’ve got my personal news out of the way, let’s talk about what’s been happening at SDCC 2012 that doesn’t involve self-righteous self-absorbsion.

The actual programming at SDCC started in earnest yesterday, featuring panels on everything from homosexuality in genre fiction to Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part II. (Rob: This may be redundant. Consider editing. -Amanda)

With San Diego Comic-Con literally right around the corner (we fly out a week from today, and I have my first airline system nicotine fit one week and three hours from today), I’d been expecting a dearth of actual comic news until then, since the big stuff usually gets held until the appropriate convention panels, giving fans good reason to attend and creators a wide sampling of attractive people in superhero costumes upon whom they can hit. Protip, creators: steer clear of anyone in a Batgirl suit. There may be… ulterior motives.

So here I was, thinking I’d have a week to recharge my batteries and prepare for the sensory overload that is SDCC by doing some quickie reviews and getting my drink on at a reasonable hour for a change, when DC Comics went ahead and announced yesterday a tiny little news item. Y’know, nothing anyone would be interested in. Just the course of the Batman main title (at least) immediately following the Night of The Owls event and opening up the New 52’s second year.

Starring The Joker.

Saturday at San Diego Comic-Con. The Nerdpocalypse. The day when the convention stacks up their A-List programming. ,Meaning that you will be around more lines than Tony Montana, and if the humidity rises above 40 percent, by noon you will smell like a foot.

It’s the day we Nerd Prom-goers wait for for about 364 days a year, and yesterday SDCC posted the entire preliminary programming guide for Saturday, July 14th. So let’s take a look at the panels that looked most interesting to us here at the Crisis On Infinite Midlives Home Office, and the ones most likely for us to attend, cover, and really foot the place up.

Ok, so, as we started yesterday, here’s a preview of some of the programming that will be brought to you on Friday of this year’s San Diego Comic-Con. Friday looks like a weird day that will be mostly appealing to those who are interested in television programming, The New 52 (can we still really call it “new” at this point?), and the Whedonverse. Here are some highlights from the official site:

We are a mere two weeks away from the official opening day for the 2012 San Diego Comic-Con (with the unofficial start occurring at the Nicky Rotten’s bar next to the Arrogant Bastard Ale tap about two hours before Preview Night opens on Wednesday night), and that means that the Comic-Con programming schedule is starting to drop, with Wednesday’s and Thursday’s schedule revealed today.

Now, be aware that this schedule is not official and utterly finalized, since it doesn’t include the annual “Rob yorks raw whiskey and bile into the toilet near the gaming room and screeches ‘Bring me the head of Roberto Liefeldo!'” panel. If by “panel,” you mean “trauma center event.”

Anyhoo, here’s what we have in store (and some of which we will be reporting on in damn near real time) for Wednesday’s Preview Night, and Thursday, July 11!