“Legion” Is A Strong Word: DC Cancels Four Titles While DeMatteis / Maguire Tease New One

DC’s August solicitations are starting to be released and, as one will when a comic pubisher spends most of 2011 extolling their new group of 52 comics, I perused them to see which of those 52 new and exciting books are getting the ick.

And the short answer is: four of them, with two coming from the original New 52 from September, 2001. Those books being Dial H, Threshold, Demon Knights and Legion of Super Heroes, with the latter two being two of those original relaunched titles.

I have long since stopped keeping count of how many of the original New 52 titles are still sucking breath (although it’s clearly more than ten percent… because at least seven of them are Batman Family titles that will only be cancelled if some dingbat hires Joel Schumacher to reboot the Batman movie series. And by “reboot,” I obviously mean “add nipples to Batman’s boots”), but none of these cancellations are particularly a surprise to me. Dial H was clearly a Vertigo title marooned in the DC Universe; a book initially edited by former Vertigo chief Karen Berger, and given the upheaval in DC’s Editorial division, this book probably only had a matter of time unless someone changed the title to Dial B. With Gotham City’s Area Code Before The “B.” And Then Dial “Atman.”

Blessed Mother: Teaser For Marvel’s Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. Released

It is Mother’s Day, and here at the Crisis On Infinite Midlives Home Office we are  celebrating with our mothers the same as everyone else – and yes, we have mothers. You know full well that we do, or else that pejorative people shriek at us on the street would have no bearing on us.

But still, comics news goes on, including the official Go-Order for ABC’s Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. It was just a rumor on Friday, but as of Friday night it was confirmed on the show’s Facebook Page… and that confirmation included the cast photo at the top of this article.

And yes, that photo does feature Clark Gregg as Agent Phil Coulson. Agent Phil Coulson who was apparently shanked in the kidneys by Loki in The Avengers. And yes, we knew that he was gonna be involved somehow in the series despite the minor handicap of apparently being stone fucking dead… but it seems he will be walking and talking, based on this short promo of the show released by the production, that you can check out after the jump.

Mescaline Dreams: Grant Morrison Explains His Batman Decisions

It is not a secret, if you peruse the Batman or Grant Morrison tags on this Web site, that we are not necessarily fans of Grant Morrison’s seven-year Batman story that has run through the primary Batman title, Final Crisis and, most recently, Batman Incorporated… although the recent death of Damian Wayne in Batman Incorporated #8 was satisfying in the way that hitting yourself in the head with a hammer is: it feels so damn good when you stop.

Part of why Morrison’s long-form story has never completely grabbed us is that, as a generation who grew to love comics into adulthood partially due to Frank Miller’s The Dark Knight Returns and Batman: Year One, we don’t have a lot of love or need for Batman stories from the 50s and 60s, when Batman was surrounded ridiculous leering villains who tied up the young boy who lived with Batman, not only giving the character a dull edge, but giving the jocks reasons to give us swirlies from junior high until our growth spurts occurred.

So Morrison’s embrace of the tropes of some of those early stories simply didn’t work for us, as we were unable to really understand why Morrison would bring up those old stories that got us so savagely beaten back in the early 80s. Morrison, however, has gone on record with his through process for including that entire weird and often campy history into his Batman story, in a podcast with Kevin Smith, that YouTube user swank has excerpted and paired with illustrations from the history of Batman. And while the story still leaves me lukewarm, it explains the logic behind the decisions Morrison made… and you can check the whole thing out after the jump.

The Hulk On TV? That Almost Never Happens: ABC Reportedly Picks Up S.H.I.E.L.D. Series

We’ve known for months now that Marvel has been, with the help of Joss Whedon, putting together a television pilot about S.H.I.E.L.D. to tie into the Avengers and other Marvel movies, because hey: a billion or so dollars is nice, but who doesn’t want an extra 20 or so million dollars every yer between September and May?

And, beyond the reported resurrection of Agent Phil Coulson in the series, that’s pretty much all we’ve known. After all, a lot of TV pilots are shot every year that never make the cut (Powers, anyone?)… although you’d think that a series based on a series of movies that have made more money than Greece would be the kind of easy money bet that any network would take, let alone ABC, who’s one bad Dancing With The Stars cast away from having to offer to blow CBS for nickels.

And it looks like they’re ready to take that bet – Entertainment Weekly is reporting that ABC is ready to pull the trigger and order a full season of the S.H.I.E.L.D. series.

Personality Crisis, or: Skype Is Free: Batman #20 Review

Dear creators working in DC’s Batman office: there is a product available on the Internet called Skype. It is free. And it allows you create a virtual conference room, where you can invite any number of people to join, and then, you know, talk to each other.

I say this because there is obviously no communication happening about how Bruce Wayne is handling the death of his son. The writer of that death, Grant Morrison, has Bruce sucking down Man-Bat serum and going on a revenge rampage over in Batman Incorporated. Peter Tomasi has Batman scouring the world looking for a way to bring Damian back to life, including the psychological torture of the last Robin to get killed on his watch this month, and making an attack on fucking Frankenstein for answers last month.

And Scott Snyder, the writer of the main Batman title? Well, as a guy who has to turn in a comic book during this whole, sudden, “Damian’s-Dead” shitstorm, he has Batman affected by the event in the margins, while making the meat of the story a decent, if workmanlike, two-and-done featuring an antagonist no one really cares about, and a big Easter Egg in this week’s Batman #20 to delight the rubes (I was certainly delighted). However, as a guy who has reached A-List status at DC in the past year and a half, with arguably as much pull as Morrison, Snyder has clearly said, “Um, yeah: I’ll give you a couple issues mentioning this death, but this is Grant’s problem. I think I’m gonna scrap my Riddler plans and do a year-long story set in the past while you guys deal with the fallout from the whims of that crazy Scottish fucker.”

So if it seems every Batman writer has picked a different stage of grief to stick Bruce Wayne into over the death of his son, Snyder has clearly chosen “Acceptance.” Which means, at the very least, that it is the less histrionic of the two Batman titles on the stands this week. But the question is: is that enough to make it any good?

Bros Before… Ah, Nevermind: Batman And Red Hood #20 Review

Batman And Red Hood (previously named Batman & Robin but recently renamed due to Robin being occupied by a previous engagement with a dirtnap) #20 is finally proof – to me, at least – that when Grant Morrison killed Robin in Batman Incorporated, he really didn’t tell anyone what he was planning to do ahead of time. Because the only possible explanation I can think of for a comic like Batman And Red Hood #20 to exist is that the creative team had to come up something – any damn thing – to fill the pages that was at least somewhat on point with this dead kid they suddenly found themselves saddled with.

Seriously: sudden, blinding panic is the only explanation for some of the things we’re seeing in this issue. Trying to introduce some version of Carrie Kelley that we’ve never seen before is a bad enough flailing grasp from a creative team realizing that they’re buying groceries with the money made from a book with the name “Robin” in the title. But it also is the only explanation for, hell, almost the remainder of the book. There are so many problems with this issue, from off character moments to weird methods of attack that make no sense to a couple of legitimate “what the fuck?” panels that I have to believe the issue was whipped together at the last minute in a pants-shitting panic.

Because otherwise, I need to believe that a writer of a Batman comic book would think that Batman would engage in a drive-by shooting in the interest of resurrecting the dead.

Yeah, you heard me.

The Walking Dead: Set Pictures From The Amazing Spider-Man 2 Include Possible Major Spoiler

We’re a bit late to the party on this, but The Daily Mail, over in England, debuted some set pictures of Emma Stone on the set of The Amazing Spider-Man 2. And being an English, tabloidy, general news kind of site, they used their scoop to gush that Stone was dressing more maturely than she did in last year’s original movie, and how damn stylish she looked in a lime-green coat and a purplish mini dress, with some high boots.

The Daily Mail focused on this because they are an English, tabloidy, general news site, and are therefore catering to middle-aged women who want to see how celebrities are dressed, and young men who want to see tits on Page 2 (at least I think it’s Page 2. I am unsure because I am an American, and therefore get my pictures of tits the way God intended: from the Internet, within the context of hard core pornography).

Comic fans, however, looked at these pictures and saw something more. And that something more was a potential serious spoiler for the events of The Amazing Spider-Man 2. And if you are a long-time comic reader like I am, you have already figured out the potential spoiler just from the picture above… but in case you’re unsure and want to remain pristine for the debut next May, you can see what I’m talking about after the jump.

Demon In A Bottle In A Paper Sack: Iron Man 3 IS Tony Stark’s Alcoholism Story

Editor’s Note: It’s pretty much impossible to discuss the plot of the movie without, you know, spoiling it. So if you want to remain pristine on this, give this editorial a pass until you’ve seen Iron Man 3.

Ever since the news that Iron Man director Jon Favreau had hired Robert Downey Jr. to play Tony Stark in that first movie, there has been an implied promise that, at some point, we would see an adaptation of the classic Demon In A Bottle story arc in one of the Iron Man movies. Sure, Downey was an Academy Award winning actor, but in the early 2000s, he was better known as a reckless drug addict who spent as much time in front of a judge as he did in front of a camera. For good or ill, that history was part of why comic fans got so excited about Downey’s casting as Tony: when the time came to touch on the alcoholism story, it would be fronted by a guy who knew what it was like to lose damn near everything he cared about to substance abuse.

Well, Iron Man 3 is out. It is, as of this writing, the final turn as Tony Stark that Downey is contracted for (although if Kevin Feige has a brain in his Goddamned head, he will offer Downey anything he wants to do Avengers 2, up to and including Stan Lee’s left testicle), and from all advance reports, it was not going to be the Demon In A Bottle story that we’ve been hoping for since 2008 – hell, considering the very first thing we ever see of Tony Stark in any movie is his hand with a Goddamned drink in it, they might as well have promised it to us.

Well, having seen the flick, I can tell you that director Shane Black has excised almost all references to Tony’s drinking… and yet you should make no mistake: this is Tony’s long-awaited alcoholism story. The story fairly reeks of being a first-draft Demon In A Bottle story, with all the overt references to actual, you know, drinking, removed. But if you look for the signs, they’re there… like being around a dude in a nice suit and clean hair, but whose sweat smells faintly of Jack Daniels.

It Came From The Past: Aisha Tyler Responds To Internet Trolls Re – Presenting At The Ubisoft E3 Press Conference

I missed this when Aisha Tyler originally posted this last year in response to those criticizing her when she was chosen to be a presenter at the Ubisoft E3 press conference, but Captain Marvel writer Kelly Sue DeConnick shared it again today via her Tumblr. There is a certain beauty in watching a veteran stand-up comedian take the smack down skills typically used on a drunken heckler and apply them to internet trolls. It almost makes me want to go drop in at my local open mic and do 5 minutes. Almost.

Check it out, after the jump.

Sensory Overload

Okay, between Free Comic Book Day, Star Wars Day (May The Fourth Be With You! Get it? Is this thing on? Bueller?), the viewing of Iron Man 3, and the celebration of the birthday of one of our contributors (Happy Birthday, Trebuchet! Here’s to being one year closer to death!), we have been flat out all day and likely will be through the remainder of the evening. Thus, this is the end of today’s broadcast day… being as this is being written and published from a two-year-old cell phone.

However, we plan to see Iron Man 3 one more time tomorrow to better be able to review the film here, so watch for that in this space tomorrow. In the meantime, get yourself to a theater and check it out (one-line preliminary review: well worth seeing, but not nearly as exciting as last year’s The Avengers, and the whole thing kinda stinks of where they removed the Demon In A Bottle references that, by rights, should have been there. But a damn fun movie nonetheless), and we will regroup on the morrow.

But until then: see you tomorrow, suckers!