Thursday Night At The Movies: Patton Oswalt on Star Wars and Kick-Ass 2

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It is yet another eventful evening in the Crisis On Infinite Midlives Home Office – tonight, we have a plumber in replacing the sink garbage disposal. You know, that thing mounted under your sink that is designed, meant and sold to grind small bits of kitchen detritus so it can be washed down the sink, thus leaving more room in the trash for beer cans? The device that has a big warning on it to keep your damn hands away from it unless you want to sharpen your wrist like a #2 pencil? Yeah, that shit the bed. On an egg shell. A bit of garbage so known for toughness and resiliency that they are sold in padded specialty containers, and if the bag kid at the grocery store puts them at the bottom of the bag, you’re allowed by Massachusetts law to bust him in the mouth with a sack full of canned goods.

So posting must be quick tonight, what with my needing to keep an eye on this guy in case he asks for assistance… and if he does, considering all I know about plumbing is its spelling, I will be forced to respond, “Sure… hows about I staple the back of your BVDs to your spine so I can stop seeing that stereotypical man-ass cleavage there, champ?”

So in the spirit of quick improvisation, we have a couple of videos for you, starting with Patton Oswalt on the set of Parks & Recreation, filibustering the city council by spending almost ten minutes explaining what the plot of Star Wars: Episode VII should be – including Marvel superheroes, the X-Men (yes, I know they are Marvel heroes, but tell movie rights holder 20th Century Fox that) and the homoerotic cast of Clash of The Titans. It’s some good, impressive and funny stuff – as you can tell by the poster Entertainment Weekly made based on selfsame improvised rant.

And if that’s not enough, well, someone leaked an extended, bloody battle scene from the climax of Kick-Ass 2. Both of which you can find after the jump.