Can’t Think of A Title, So: GIANT-SIZED MAN-THING

Hi, and welcome to to Crisis On Infinite Midlives!

We’d like to tell you that Crisis on Infinite Midlives is the hottest, most exciting and comprehensive new comic book and geek culture related site on the Internet, but we think that if you’ll just take a look around you’ll discover for yourself that it actually and truly is a weird little vanity project that we idly came up with while drinking heavily one evening in late July at the San Diego Comic-Con.

“Why’s there so much fuss over the San Diego Batgirl?” one of us muttered while reaching for a beverage, “We were at that panel; she asked a leading question, tried to derail a perfectly good discussion about the New 52, and was treated with far more courtesy than I would have been if I grabbed the mike and shrieked at Dan Didio that I wanted my two bucks back from when I called the 900-number to kill the Jason Todd Robin.”

“Yeah,” the other one of us said, “I’d have respected her more if instead of using weird arguments and trying to gin up a lynch mob, she’d just have had the strength of character to call those guys sexist dicks. And then maybe scream ‘Baba Booey!'”

“But everyone on the Internet’s being so Goddamned serious over what amounts to a live-action troll. Why isn’t anyone just saying that the woman was irritating and distracting in front of 500 paying comic book fans?”

DING.

A couple months of planning (TRANSLATION: Many mornings of saying “Jesus, am I hung over. Did we talk about starting a comics Web site last night?” wrapped in a grand total of about six hours of buying a domain name and three hours trying to ramfeed a microphone meant for performing stand-up comedy into a USB hub… which come to think of it is probably it’s own weird Japanese techno fuck fetish, and which would be a much easier Web site to run), and here you have it… whatever “it” is.

The best we can figure now, “it” is a site where we take the comics news of the day, review the latest books and check the hottest trends, and mock them as mercilessly as we possibly can. We’re comedians, you see, and while we have a combined 65 years of comic book lover under our belts, we are what we are: comedians. Drunken comedians.

In addition, we intend to do a weekly podcast which will start from a list of the biggest comics-related topics of the week and will end having devolved into one of us saying something like, “Your genitals remind me of a Rob Liefeld foot: almost impossible to see, and when you do see it, it’s tiny and misshapen.”

The site will be updated as often as we can with whatever we think is the most interesting and / or funny stuff from the comics world we can think of, and I say that with all the enthusiasm that comes from starting a new Web site. However, with this not being my FIRST new Web site, I am also duty-bound to say that we have day jobs and lives and shit to do, and you get what you pay for, and if you don’t like it start your own Goddamned comics Web site, and get off my fucking lawn.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go read the first issue of Kevin Smith’s new comic The Bionic Man, and see if ol’ Kev decided to put another meat dagger into my childhood by giving Steve Austin a bladder spasm.

Thanks for coming. Hope you like the place.

Now get off my fucking lawn.