Brain Bleach – A Brony Tale…A Documentary Of A Fandom That Refuses To Die

Some time in the early 80s, my kid sister began collecting My Little Pony figures. Her two favorites were a pony called Cotton Candy and a pegasus called Firefly. I generally referred to them as Miss Piggy and Braciole, respectively. So, even at a young age I guess you can already figure out where I stood on the matter of embracing the Love And Tolerance creedo of the MLP fandom, along with picking up on one of the rough 732,000 reasons my sister now lives in Ohio and doesn’t speak to the family.

However, there are a ridiculous number of folks out there that are MLP fans. Some of them are grown ass men. They are called Bronies. They are here and they are legion. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

A Brony Tale opens on April 26, as part of the Tribeca Film Festival.

Now, for the rest of us, who’s hungry? I’m in the mood for a little braciole…

Via Deadline.

Brain Bleach – Quis Custodiet Ipsos Spongemen?

Yeah, so this is a thing that happened.

You wanna see it? Really?

Ok. You were warned. Hit the jump.

Brain Bleach: Twerking Stormtroopers

There’s not much to say here other than for your viewing pleasure…twerking Stormtroopers.

Horrifying. Mesmerizing. Twerking. Stormtroopers.

Via Geeks Are Sexy.

Brain Bleach: Spider-Man Takes On Batman And Robin In A MMA Match. Seriously.

So, apparently there is a mixed martial arts league in the United Kingdom that formed last summer to search for the “UK’s Hardest Man”. Per MixedMartialArts.com :

The event is a single-elimination tournament held over a period of some weeks, with modified MMA rules:
•No weight division.
•Contest is held on a 12×12 mat, with no ring or cage enclosure.
•1st round is ten minutes duration.
•There is a one minute time limit on the ground.
•Standing guillotines are prohibited.
•6 oz amateur MMA gloves are worn.
•Winner of the tournament gets £3000 (aprox US $4,500)

The bouts will be held at Southampton, England’s Exile Gym, a respected MMA facility.

Which is all well and good, but the most recent fight the league uploaded to its Facebook page is Spider-Man…taking on Batman and Robin. Yes, sounds like a very serious competition indeed.

Check it out, after the jump.

Brain Bleach – Santa The Hutt

I’m just going to leave this here:

Yeah.

So, anyway, that not enough Star Wars Christmas cheer for you? There’s more, after the jump.

Brain Bleach – Pectoral Implants a la Khan Noonian Singh

Say it with me: KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

Ever want the massive, gleaming chest sported by Ricardo Montalban in Star Trek II – The Wrath Of Khan, but can’t commit to diet, exercise, or silicone prosthetics? Well, pine because of your puny, flat physique no more. The fine people at SuperHeroStuff have just the t-shirt for you. For just under 40 American dollars, you too can achieve the look of a man who has been placed on ice for a lengthy stretch of his wretched life and then spent 15 years in exile with nothing to do but hate Kirk, plot revenge, and push ups.

So, don’t put down that can of Pringles, my friend. Throw this shirt on, pop your Star Trek II DVD in the player, and eat up. And know that when Shatner yells that immortal line, he’s really yelling for you.

Via Fashionably Geek.

Brain Bleach: Kenneth Rocafort Ruins Lobo

Take a good long look at the picture of the Main Man, Lobo, over there to the left. Drink it in, because the artist who teamed up with Scott Lobdell to help ruin the launch of Red Hood And The Outlaws in DC’s new 52 is at it again. Cheesecake master extraordinaire Kenneth Rocafort has redesigned indestructible space antihero Lobo for Marguerite Bennett’s take on the character in upcoming Justice League #23.2: Lobo. Gone will be the over muscled, heavy metal biker look that has been the character’s hallmark for decades. Instead, Rocafort will be giving us an athletic-looking, sanitized Lobo with the vapid features of a plastic surgery victim. Indeed, Lobo seems to be getting the full PG-13 makeover, as was similarly inflicted on John Constantine with the demise of Hellblazer. Huzzah for mediocrity! Check it out, after the jump.

Brain Bleach: Clark Gregg, Agent Of Toy

Captain America has the smoothest…shield…

Toy critic, Ninjavitis^*, reviews the new line of action figures from the Marvel Avengers movie by Hot Toys, distributed by Sideshow Collectibles. When he begins his segment on the Agent Coulson doll^**, he is visited by Clark Gregg. While Gregg could take this opportunity to play with himself, he instead begins to play with the other dolls…which is even creepier. Behold:

^* Best internet handle ever, Jason Miyashiro!

^** Life model decoy not included…unless Coulson always was one…

Agent Coulson lives!

Via Topless Robot

Brain Bleach – Won’t Someone Please Think For Of The Children

Rob and I don’t have children, mostly owing to the fact that we spend much of our time drunk, pantsless, and gibbering like 3 year-olds. However, if we did have kids, we would choose not to send them to Tuny Haven International Early Learning Center. On May 17th, that preschool sent home this letter to its students’ parents

Recently, it has been brought to our attention that the imaginations of our preschool children are becoming dangerously overactive causing injuries within our pre-k community. Although we encourage creative thinking and imaginary play, we do not promote out [sic] children hurting one another. Wrestling, Super Hero play, and Monster games will not be permitted here at Tuny Haven. In addition please monitor the different media that your children may view. The reenactment of televisions [sic] shows/ movies are being done during active paly [sic] times in school.

The safety and well being of your child is our first and foremost concern. Thank you for your cooperation.

The inability of the letter’s authors, site Director of Operations LaTanya Bernard and Executive Director Adrienne McKinney, to proofread their work for spelling and the ability to use is or are correctly in their sentences aside, what kind of monsters dressing themselves up as educators censor their students’ imaginative play? It comes off like they can’t be bothered to monitor their recess time properly to avoid injury. “No, I’m sorry Johnny. You can’t be Superman at recess and you can’t go home and watch Superman, because then you might think about Superman…and then you might want to be him at recess. Here, go play with this rock and this stick. Play ‘baseball players’, because nobody ever gets hurt playing baseball.”

According to Citypaper.net, Bernard and McKinney would not return phone calls for comment.

What absolute losers. See the letter, after the jump.

Brain Bleach – Battlestar Galactica As Sappy Network Sitcom

Ok, Rob is currently downstairs up to his eyeballs in a home wiring and plasma television mounting project. Jack Daniels may or may not be involved. You might think that he can’t be productive in the throes of a Jack bender, but I watched him build an entire computer one night in a whiskey blackout. It was Christmas Eve and the next morning he actually thought that Santa had brought him a computer. So cute! And hungover!

Anyway, since we have no live electricity or Internet, I’m posting this from a scant 2G signal begrudgingly supplied by my phone. Ever wonder what would happen if Battlestar Galactica and Friends had a baby? A cheesy, awful, horrific waterhead baby? No? Well, too bad. The same Internet that will give you bukkake clips on demand will also give you this:

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to use what power is left in my phone to dig up 33, find some whiskey, and have a blackout of my own.

Via Gizmodo UK.