Deadlines And Commitments

It has been a busy one around the Crisis On Infinite Midlives Home Office, in the sense that we haven’t been around the office since this morning.

Amazingly, running the 1,952nd biggest comics blog in America (but we’re catching up, Comics Sty dot org!) doesn’t pay the bills, so Amanda and I have been busy doing the things that do. Combine that with an a commitment to an after work “teambuilding exercise” at a local bar (although how my getting shattered and throwing a punch at that cock Kunal who takes credit for my shit will foster teamwork, I have no idea. Unless everyone else joins in), and our time today is regretfully short.

But regardless, it is Wednesday, and come hell or high water, it means new comics. Which means that this…

…means the end of our broadcast day.

And it’s a decent take, with Geoff Johns’s last issue of Green Lantern, a new The Superior Spider-Man, and a bunch of other cool stuff!

But you know the drill: before we can discuss them, we need a chance to show Kunal what happens when you check in another man’s code. Oh, and a chance to read the comics. So until I post bail for Aggravated Assault…

…see you tomorrow, suckers!

80s Comic Book Movies: New Trailer For The Wolverine Released

Truly, the comics geek is living in a special, blessed time. When I was seventeen years old, my friends and I spent fully a year and a half looking forward to Tim Burton’s Batman to come out… because as hard as it is to believe, the last comic-book movie adaptation before that movie was Superman IV: The Quest For Peace in 1987. And before that? Yeah, Howard The Duck. To say that Hollywood wasn’t catering to our needs back then would be an understatement only surpassed by, “It was kinda breezy in Oklahoma yesterday.” *

But clearly it ain’t like that now. The summer movie season is only about three weeks old and we already have one big superhero movie out, with Man of Steel coming in June. Which is such a wealth of geek material that it’s easy to forget that we also have The Wolverine coming out July 26th. Well, there’s the wealth of material, and the fact that Wolverine: X-Men Origins kinda sucked.

However, 20th Century Fox doesn’t want you to forget, as they have released a new trailer for the movie. And it is proof that you shouldn’t forget, because this series of clips shows a bunch of sequences that look heavily influenced by the classic Chris Claremont / Frank Miller Wolverine miniseries from the early 80s.

Plus there is a giant, robot-looking samauri. Because shut up, that’s why.

Anyway, you can check out the latest footage after the jump.

Making The Saving Throw: Pathfinder #7 Review

Dear Dynamite Comics: please reconsider the font you use to number issues. With God as my witness, I thought Pathfinder #7 was actually a #1. It’s the only reason I bought it.

Because normally I would never buy a sword and sorcery book, at least not sight unseen. I have a mental block when it comes to genre stories about quests and swords and paladins and magic users. You can give me a story about a hero in spandex attacking a giant monster, the same story with a hero with a laser pistol and a giant robot, and the same story with a dude with a sword and a dragon, and I will pick stories one and two almost every time. I’m the same when it comes to role playing games: Shadowrun and Call of Cthuhlu, yes; Dungeons & Dragons, no.

But I review comics, so I bought what I thought was a first issue, because frankly, I need to file copy almost every day, and hey: you never know. But while I was disappointed when I saw that it was actually a seventh issue, my spirits were lifted when I saw it was written by Jim Zub, the writer of Skullkickers, a sword-based adventure story that is a favorite outlier in my eyes due to the presence of a gun, and metric buttloads of solid humor.

Pathfinder #7, however, is no Skullkickers. It is a far more conventional D&D-style story, by which I mean it is very much like a game of Dungeons & Dragons. Zub gives us the well-balanced party of adventurers, cast as if by a demanding DM, with modern-style dialogue and some of the classic obstacles and antagonists of that game.

It is also a well-executed entry point for new readers, introducing a new adventure for the party, demonstrating internal conflict, and teasing one of the great battles one can find in a game of D&D.

You know, if you like that sort of thing.

Video Distractions: Batman: Arkham Origins Teaser Released

Comics aren’t the only thing in my life, you know. I am also somewhat of a home theater enthusiast, to the point where I have built my own home theater PC (Think a TiVo, only with 4.5 terabytes of storage space, that also plays home video, music, and online media, as well as skipping commercials automatically on recorded TV, and all without a byte of digital rights management), run by a small universal infrared sensor to read commands from a standard remote control.

I also just bought and wall-mounted a sick plasma TV to replace my old DLP projection job and – funny story – didja know that plasma TVs, as well as having the best contrast available, also spit out a bunch of infrared noise? Noise that, say, a universal infrared sensor can see? And try to constantly process? Making the PC that’s listening to that sensor as dumb as a brick?

However, being a clever man, I thought of a fix that requires only a small cardboard jewelry box. Really: that’s it. Well, that and about $400 of obscure hobbyist parts that require extensive programming and tweaking to allow a line-of-sight infrared sensor to listen to a remote control while the sensor is crammed into a small cardboard jewelry box.

All of which is a long way to go to explain that I am extremely busy today – trying to turn a bracelet box into an electronic home theater component will do that to you – but I do have one thing for you: Batman: Arkham Origins, the sequel to the excellent Arkham Asylum and Arkham City videogames, is due out this coming October, and the producers have released the first teaser video for the game, featuring Batman kicking the shit out of a low-level bad guy. A low level bad guy named Deathstroke. And you can check it out after the jump

Bastard Sons of The Father: James Robinson Leaves DC

Well, there goes all my hopes for another Starman story… or worse: here comes another Goddamned Starman story.

Allow me to explain. Yesterday, via Twitter, the magical service that allows people to reach into my life across time and space to show me the things that they are about to have for dinner,  DC Comics’s Earth 2 writer James Robinson announced that he is leaving that book.

So as of today I am leaving Earth 2 with Issue #16.It’s been a blast.Man, it’s a lovely day.Think I’ll take Rex to the beach.

— JamesDRobinson (@JamesDRobinson) May 17, 2013

Okay, that’s a bummer, especially considering that when it comes to alternate versions of classic heroes, Robinson is one of the best in the business – so good that the characterizations in his Elseworld’s story The Golden Age became, pre-New 52, part of DC’s Golden Age canon.

But hey: maybe this was good news! Maybe Robinson was freeing himself up to do that last Starman story he’s always been saying he wants to do! Maybe it means that he’s clearing himself up to do a complete new Starman series! Maybe it means –

Oh, what’s that? It means nothing of the sort?

Grandpa Flashpoint: Age of Ultron #8 Review

We can’t bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell them stories that don’t go anywhere. Like the time I took the ferry to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe so I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on them. Give me five bees for a quarter you’d say. Now where were we? Oh yeah: the important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn’t have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones.

-Grandpa Simpson

What, exactly, is Age of Ultron about? This is a serious question.

We started out with a pretty straightforward end-of-the-world story with a bunch of killer robots that came literally out of nowhere and fucked up New York City. Then it was about infighting between superheroes, desperate last chances, and time travel. Okay, great. Now it’s about the Butterfly Effect, divergent timelines, and an alternate version of Marvel’s history where Hank Pym never existed, The Avengers broke up, and the world is under seige by Morgana Le Fey (“I toldja that Le Feys would be the end of America!” “Shut up, Dad!”). We’ve still got two issues left in Age of Ultron not counting crossover issues, which means we still have plenty of time for this series to tack in yet another direction, perhaps one about Friendship being Magic.

I’m not saying that Age of Ultron isn’t interesting; I was a rabid reader of What If? back when I was a kid, so I am a sucker for alternate versions of Marvel history, but I’m just not getting what writer Brian Michael Bendis is going for here. We’ve got a robot apocalypse that came out of left field, and that isn’t being addressed in other titles except in one-off “AU” issues that drop the character into the Ultron scenario for twenty pages before returning to the status quo in the next issue. And now, in issue 8, we are completely out of that apocalypse into an entirely different apocalypse that occurs when Hank Pym doesn’t exist – again, while none of this seems to be affecting the Marvel Universe as a whole. And all the while, we’ve got guys like Marvel Editor Tom Brevoort swearing that what happens in this book will have an effect on the greater 616, when it doesn’t seem to be having any effect right fucking now.

So what’s the endgame here? Is it to irrevokably change the nature of the Marvel Universe based on an apocalyptic event that led to some ill-advised time travel and cold-blooded murder? Is it to accentuate the importance of Ant Man to the Marvel Universe in time for the Edgar Wright movie in a couple of years? Is it to placate Bendis’s urge to apparently write the Marvel version of what might have happened if Arnold had blown Eddie Furlong out of his fucking socks the way we all wanted him to after two hours of bad acting in Terminator 2?

These are the questions I had when I finished Age of Ultron #8, a comic book that is cool if you like alternate versions of Marvel history, but which is yet another chapter of a story that seems to be bouncing from bad day to bad day without actually going anywhere in particular yet, and which, at this point in the story, just doesn’t feel like it matters.

“Princess Leia And Chewbacca Should Totally Do It” And Other Tales – Fans Give J.J. Abrams Star Wars Advice On Jimmy Kimmel

As Rob and I head out for a screening of Star Trek Into Darkness at our local theater, where they don’t quite know us by name but frequently tell us we can’t bring our own alcoholic beverages on site because of “the law”, we wonder how quickly the excitement of the Star Trek experience will wane and inevitably turn to speculation regarding J.J. Abrams upcoming turn as director of the new Star Wars sequels. Lots of fans are already wondering about casting and plot points. Some were even helpful enough to share their thoughts with him on a recent episode of Jimmy Kimmel Live. You may notice a recurring theme in their writing advice. Watch for surprise cameos at about the 2:20 mark.

I think my next Jazz-Dubstep fusion band project will be called “Nothing But Lando”. You’ve been warned.

Via io9

A Little Light Reading

It is never a bad time when I visit my local comic store, where they know me by name and ask me not to shriek, “Who’s looking for a good time?” at the paying clientele, at least not while I’m wearing my Namor Speedos.

But some weeks are a little more, shall we say, disappointing than others. This was one of those every-few-weeks weeks where, when the owner of my local comic store, where they kow me by name and ask me to for Christ’s sake stop wearing my Namor Speedos, hands me my week’s pulls, and it’s only about an inch thick. And while it’s nice to come home from my local comic store, where they know me by name and ask me to remember that there are decency laws in greater Boston, without being a full Benjamin lighter in the wallet, it means fewer books to read, sink into, and forget that these Speedos were once my fat shorts.

But still: some new comics is better than no new comics. And any new comics means that it is Wednesday, and further indicates that this…

…means the end of our broadcast day.

But even though it’s looking like a light week, there are still plenty of decent comics this week. We’ve got another issue of Marvel’s Age of Ultron event (which contains neither ages or Ultrons. Huh.), a new Legend of Luther Strode and Ultimate Comics Spider-Man, something new from Dynamite Comics called Pathfinder that I bought on a whim, along with something called Dream Thief from Dark Horse Comics that Amanda bought on a whim, and a decent pile of other cool stuff.

But you know how this works: before we can review them, we need a chance to Johnson’s Baby Powder ourselves out of these Godawful shorts. And some extra time to, you know, read the damn comics. So until that time…

See you tomorrow, suckers!

One For The Faithful: Deathstroke #20 Review

Editor’s Note: And one last look at last week’s comics before the comic stores open late today… and it contains spoilers. But they are spoilers on a book that has been cancelled and lives no more. So do you really give a fuck? Thought not.

“So the final issue of Deathstroke was in this week’s take. You gonna review it?” I said.

“Fuck that,” my co-Editor Amanda said, “As far as I’m concerned, that book’s been over since Rob Leifeld took over from Kyle Higgins last year. DC editorial took a perfectly good book about a professional dealing with the perils of entering middle age and turned it into a book about some badly-proportioned, footless steroid head beating on space douchebags.”

“But Justin Jordan’s been writing the book for the past few months. Do you think it’s improved at all since then?”

“I haven’t been reading it.”

“Why not? Jordan writes Luther Strode, and you like that.”

“Yeah, but so what? It’s damaged goods. Taking over Deathstroke after Liefeld had his grubby mitts all over it is like watching a buddy get married to a whore. He might be totally in love and committed to making it work, but here ain’t a force on Earth that can make people look at her and not picture when she had three dicks in her mouth. Let Deathstroke go under and lie fallow for a while. I’ll try it again when it feels a little less… dirty. You review the last issue.”

Okay I will. Despite not having kept up on Deathstroke since Higgins left the book any more than Amanda did. Which means that I have no idea what the hell led into the events of this issue, which includes all the Usual Suspects you’d expect from a big Deathstroke story. We’ve got Terra, Rose (Slade’s daughter who became Ravager before the New 52), Grant (Slade’s son who became Ravager back in the 80s – c’mon, at least try to keep up), Jericho (Slade’s other son, who was a good guy in the 80s before becoming a bad guy in… ah, fuck it) and, well, Majestic (for some reason), locked in a epic battle to the death that requires some ugly choices, brutal methods, and one deus ex machina on Slade’s part.

Which is fine, but what matters is: is it any good? And more importantly: does it work as a final story? You know, with “final” in subtextual quotes, since ain’t no one really gonna kill a character that appears on The CW’s Arrow?

The Lola Is My Penis: Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Full Trailer Released

Waitaminute, Waitaminute, WAITaminute… this is a Joss Whedon show… based on a movie by Joss Whedon… and someone he killed comes back to life?

Well, someone who isn’t named Buffy?

Okay, I’m getting ahead of myself here.

It was just Friday when ABC formally announced that they had made an order for Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., and normally when a show developed by Whedon is announced, the normal immediate network response is something like, “…and we don’t know when to schedule it or how – or if – it should be promoted! The empty suits on the Top Floor, who split their time between programming decisions and rapid cocaine disposal, have recommended pretending that this program will never air! Now let’s talk about Whitney Cummings’s new magnum opus!”

But that reaction was for shows that aren’t related to a movie property that has grossed roughly a bazillion dollars in the past year. For Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., not only has ABC already announced that it will air on Tuesdays at 8 p.m. this fall (although the premier date has not been announced), but today they have released the first full-length trailer for the show, which you can search for on Google, or perhaps Altavista, to watch on the online video platform of your choice.

Yeah, just kidding; you can check it out after the jump.