Crisis On Infinite Midlives Podcast Episode 1: The Sack Of Justice

You didn’t ask for it. We didn’t want to do it. And yet we own microphones and whiskey, so Crisis On Infinite Midlives is proud to present our the first episode of our podcast: The Sack Of Justice!

EDITOR’S NOTE: You might ask what the title means. It means we had whiskey, and sack is a funny word. Don’t overthink this. God knows we didn’t.

This weeks topics include: the first two weeks of DC’s New 52 (Including Batgirl, Deathstroke, Detective Comics, Red Lanterns, Men At War, and Hipster Douchebag Superman – I mean Action Comics), Ultimate Spider-Man Miles Morales, Williams’ Batwoman and associated Bat Nipples, and Atomic Robo vs. Frankenstein: Agent of S.H.A.D.E. vs Hellboy!

Let’s make this a drinking game: every time you hear us slur or misname a creator, drink! Then by the time this is done, you’ll be as drunk as we were when we recorded this!

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 36:52 — 33.8MB)

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Twin On Conjoined Twin Action! – Will You Read Amanda Palmer’s “Evelyn, Evelyn”?

On September 21st, Evelyn, Evelyn, a joint comic book/dark fantasy/music project conceived of by Amanda Palmer (Dresden Dolls) and Jason Webly (um…him) with art by Cynthia von Buhler (an illustrator for childrens’ books) will drop into comic stores. In an interview with Comics Alliance, the book is described:

Evelyn, Evelyn is a violent fairy-tale of the kind no longer told to modern children. Blame it on a more politically correct culture or just the simple, thankful fact that death is less often a part of everyday life, but the type of grim fables told to kids a hundred-plus years ago just aren’t around anymore.

The story open on the titular twins, who lose both parents only to be raised as caged chickens, until later being housed by child-pornographers at a camping ground and ultimately ending up in a low-rent traveling circus. And in a tongue-in-cheek reference to a modern tragedy, the twins are born on September 11th, 1985.

Ok. Conjoined twins. Traveling circuses. Lack of political correctness. Sounds promising.

However, there’s been some controversy.

Better Late Than Never: Witch Doctor #2 Review

EDITOR’S NOTE: It turns out that this “new release” is actually a second printing of a book that was initially released in July. Normally I would put the review aside and start on something more recent, but it’s almost beer o’clock. So fuck it.

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Witch Doctor is what House M.D. would be if the diagnoses were supernatural and House were allowed to skip the medical pretense and just physically abuse his patients. If that makes Witch Doctor sound to you like a derivative knockoff with an originality problem, that’s because it is and it does.

If it also makes Witch Doctor sound to your like it’s fucking full of awesome with a dark, cynical and filthy sense of humor? That’s because it is, and it does, AND you are a dirty, dirty misanthrope. Which only means you are in the right place, both with your choice in comics Web sites, and in choosing to read Witch Doctor.

Witch Doctor is the story of Dr. Vincent Morrow, an M.D. whos been chucked out of the medical community and who now treats supernatural infections, and before you pick up the phone, your herpes doesn’t count. Just because you don’t remember banging that skank doesn’t mean you got it by magic.

Luke, I Am Your *SPLORT*!

Ok, I found this via BoingBoing. It seems to fit the pattern of everything I’ve watched this weekend somehow being Star Wars related. By the way, thanks Star Wars Episodes 1-6 Blu-Ray release. I am in no way scarred for life by the godawful yellow sweater vest Mark Hamill wore in the Special Effects Of Star Wars featurette included in the bonus materials you get for buying the whole enchilada.

But anyway, here’s kittens with light sabers:

Marvel Digital Comics: Tales of The Black Freighter

I’m guessing that Marvel’s been feeling a little left out by all the publicity surrounding DC Comic’s New 52 and their decision to make all their comics available for digital sale the same day as print, because late Friday afternoon Marvel issued a press release announcing that Ultimate Spider-Man, one of the few comics that Marvel DOES offer for sale the same day as print, had “the best first day of sales for a new release to date!” on their iPhone and iPad apps.

Awesome! How many copies did you sell, writer Brian Michael Bendis?

Nothing frustrates an author more than his work not being able to get into the hands of the people that want it, and now with the Marvel Comics app we can!

Okay… how many people got their hands on it digitally? You: Marvel SVP of Sales David Gabriel – how many?

We’ve been pushing to make Ultimate Comics Spider-Man our top release to date, and the results we’ve seen both here and in print certainly show us that we’re heading in the right direction.

For the love of – Why won’t you just tell us how many digital copies you’re selling, Marvel and DC? What are you so worried about?

And Then They Came For The Oans…

Comic Book Resources just published a preview of the upcoming Green Lantern Corps #1, written by Peter Tomasi (Of recent Batman & Robin infamy) and Fernando Pasarin on pencils. As with all DC’s New 52, I can only presume that it’s meant to be a jumping-in point for new readers unfamiliar with Green Lanterns, their background or any of their history. So let’s look at it while pretending to be one of those new readers, shall we?

We start with a man being locked into something called a “sciencell” against his will by uncaring jailors.

New York Comic Con Wants You On Your Knees Looking For Clues

The New York Comic Con, which attracted 96,000 attendees last year, will kick off it’s 2nd annual convention this year on October 13-16, 2011. It describes itself thusly:

New York Comic Con is the East Coast’s biggest and most exciting popular culture convention. Our show floor plays host to the latest and greatest in comics, graphic novels, anime, manga, video games, toys, movies, and television. Our panels and autograph sessions give fans a chance to interact with their favorite creators. Our screening rooms feature sneak peeks at films and television shows months before they hit either big or small screens. And with dedicated professional hours, New York Comic Con is a market place, bringing together the major players in the entertainment industry. New York Comic Con is the second largest pop culture convention in America and the only one that takes place in the comic book, publishing, media, and licensing capital of the world — Gotham City.

New York Comic Con attracted over 96,000 attendees in 2010, easily making it the second largest comic book and pop culture gathering in the country. And Crain’s New York Business has ranked NYCC as the second largest event in New York City! We don’t toot our own horn often, but that’s pretty awesome!

New Yorkers like to make claims about how awesome they are compared to everybody about a lot of things: pizza, Derek Jeter, herpes. But, considering that Dragon*Con down in Atlanta drew a comparatively smaller 40,000 attendees, I guess they can make this claim.

This year they’re also hosting a scavenger hunt again, the prizes being either a 4 day pass to the con or an Ultimate VIP package (which may or may not involve a handy from Joe “I’m Still Here” Quesada). Will you be the uber-fan who taps his inner Batman and sleuths out the prize? Happy hunting and remember NYCC reminds you to not get arrested while looking for clues.

Ring Of Fire: Red Lanterns #1 Review

EDITOR’S NOTE: This review contains immediate, thoughtless, prejudicial spoilers. It is even possible that the story has already been ruined for you. So you might as well keep reading.

If you’ve been a comic book fon for the past couple of years, particularly if you’ve been one who followed Geoff Johns’s Green Lantern saga from the Sinestro Corps War through the Blackest Night event of 2010, you are going to cream your pants over the first seven pages of Red Lanterns #1. Peter Milligan NAILS everything fun and cool about the Red Lantern Corps, so much so that at one point I stopped what I was doing and I told Amanda, “You know what? Red Lanterns has the opening I’ve liked best of any of DC’s New 52 so far.”

“That’s great, Rob,” she said, “But I’d appreciate it if you’d put the comic book away until after we’re done having sex.”

But I digress… actually, I don’t, because that seven page opener is as much a non-sequiter as the above joke was. It has next to nothing to do with the remainder of the story that follows, and frankly? If you’re one of those ephemeral “new readers” that the New 52 is supposed to be reaching, I’m guessing you’ll quit somewhere during those seven pages and never read the book again.

Because if you don’t already know the characters, their backgrounds and motivations, what you’re seeing as an introduction to the Red Lantern Corps is an angry kitty in a red jumpsuit who bites some space dicks (The aliens in question being dicks, not ACTUAL, dangling space wangs. And the aliens themselves aren’t actually penises, they’re DICKS. Oh, forget it.), and his owner, who appears to be Mike Tyson if he ate too many carrots and tore his own lips off to give his teeth room to reproduce in his own mouth. And you’ll close the book, say something like, “Huh. those comics people DO eat mushrooms,” and go back and read Harry Potter again.

Buffy Summers: Party Slayer: Review Of Buffy The Vampire Slayer Season 9 #1

Fun Fact Of The Day: today, I discovered that my taste in classical music runs toward pieces that involve string instruments, restrained use of the woodwind family, and, are actually Led Zeppelin. Mostly the latter, actually. I determined this during a brief, but abortive attempt at cultivating a taste for classical music while trapped in traffic gridlock on the I-95 corridor. This may not have been the best time to make the attempt, but it’s not like I had anything better to do. I was trapped in a sedan sandwich between what appeared to be a head made mostly of cell phone in front of me and a morbidly obese individual in a Toyota Yaris who seemed to have dozed off in back of me. He would appear to wake every now and again to shovel a fistful of Funyuns down his head and then drop right back to sleep. It was fascinating except for that part where I worried he’d lose control over the brake pedal and smash me into Funyun dusted road pizza. I needed something to distract me.

There are seven television seasons that one could point to in the Buffy-verse as being “Classic Buffy”, as opposed to the comic book Season 8, which I consider to be “New Coke Buffy”. I wanted to like it, but even Whedon has said in interviews that by the end of Season 8 things needed to be reined back in and brought back to basics. But hey, sometimes, you just have to try. For every instance of “No, I think I need something that rocks a little harder than Mr. Vivaldi here”, there is also an “anything goes” reverting back to “basics/world with no magic”. Sometimes the classic is better.

A Dose Of The Sticky Green Rings

Heidi MacDonald at Comics Beat got her hands on an email from DC Comics saying that some percentage of copies of Green Lantern #1, which came out this past Wednesday, are being recalled for replacement due to a printing error that dropped a big, ugly-looking green loop on the cover, making Sinestro look like he’s rocking a raging dose of Oan Face Herpes: