No “Holy Sh*t” Jokes Until The Book Drops, Please

Newsarama has an exclusive, three-page preview of Frank Miller’s upcoming Legendary Comics graphic novel Holy Terror, where an “original” superhero named The Fixer hunts and kills Al Qaeda terrorists. Check it out here and come on back.

I put the word “original” in quotes because the book was originally announced as Holy Terror, Batman! at WonderCon more than five years ago. Apparently somewhere between then and now either Miller or DC Comics decided that they didn’t like the idea of a story where Batman might stomp the testicles off of gentlemen of Middle Eastern descent before showing them to him. Or maybe people just started questioning where the phrase “Don’t forget to dip the batarangs in pig’s blood, Robin,” might fit into continuity even after the New 52 reboot.

Either way, somewhere along the line Miller took the white-out to Batman’s ears and finally put the finishing touches on the book. And checking out the preview, all I can say is, MAN… I am REALLY looking forward to Sin City 2.

Holy Terror comes out next Wednesday, September 28th.

Fairness Doctrine

And as always, it is Wednesday, and this…

…signals the conclusion of our broadcast day. For the past couple weeks we’ve featured the week’s New 52 releases – and yes, all 13 of this week’s are in that pile – but it seemed like a good time to take a step back and prove that those aren’t all that we read (I also read hardcore pornography! For the articles! Like when she screams “Aa!”).

Tune in throughout the week as we review the best and worst of this week’s new comics… And yes – at the top left you’re seeing the new Marv Wolfman and George Perez retro Teen Titans graphic novel Games. Is the hardcover-only release worth the 25 clams? Shit, we don’t know! Let us sober up, read it and get back to you!

See you tomorrow, suckers!

Four Inches of Plot: League of Extraordinary Gentlemen Century: 1969 Review

EDITOR’S NOTE: Crisis On Infinite Midlives is proud to introduce our newest contributor, Lance Manion! Lance was trained as a writer, by… ninjas or something… and will be contributing comic and movie reviews, comments on geek culture, and possibly herpes! You can learn more about Lance when we get around to publishing an About Us page! Welcome, Lance!

Alan Moore has lost it.  Yeah, I’m going there.  With publication of LXG 1969, I’ve accepted that the mind that created Watchmen, re-envisioned Swamp Thing, and invented The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, has finally jumped the shark.  Actually, that’s not entirely true.  More accurately, he roofied the shark, transported it to some sort of realm of the imagination, had sex with it in every possible configuration, some requiring non-Euclidian geometry, dropped it back off in the ocean, and then slapped it in the face.

Just Punching The Clock: Green Lantern #1 Review

And now for one last pre-comic store opening review of last Wednesday’s books…

For most of Green Lantern’s history, the character had a weakness against the color yellow. That, however, was before the DC New 52 reboot. Now it is a whole new world, and Green Lantern apparently has only one weakness: the fucking inker.

Doug Mahnke has been drawing Green Lantern in the main book since 2009; his art is proven on Green Lantern, and was a welcome point of continuity between the pre and post New 52 universes. But then they hired inker Christian Alamy, who is a perfectly competent inker provided you want each panel of the book to look like Steve Dillon was given a case of Jameson to draw green rings on the hands of every character in an old issue of Preacher.

I’m serious – just take a look at this:

Oh, My God! They Killed Mitch! You Bastards: Review Of Resurrection Man #1

Mitch Shelley is a man with a problem. He can’t die. And when he does die, he comes back to life with some sort of freaky power that is related to the way that he died. Now, you might be asking yourself, “Self? How is that a problem? I’m all about things that don’t suck. Freaky powers and immortality don’t suck!” And you might be right, unless you’re Mitch Shelley.

Brain Bleach – Fetal Justice Edition

RU-486 is their kryptonite.

Saw this on both Comics Alliance and io9 – an artist named Alexandre Nicolas has made a series of sculptures in which he imagines a superhero as a fetus. Except with a full head of hair. And costumes. One wonders if they will also spring forth from the womb with housing and paying jobs?

Also, he made one of Hitler.

Don’t You Forget About Me: New Avengers #16 Review

EDITOR’S NOTE: This review contains spoilers. How many spoilers? Well, I’m going to include a scan of 9/10th of the last page of the fucking story. The only way to more effectively ruin a climax involves a Donkey Punch. You are warned.

I would like to start by saying, clearly and unambiguously, that I liked New Avengers #16. The story is excellent, the art is spectacular, and the action is almost unrelenting. This is a good comic book. Are we clear?

Good.

Because now I am going to rank it out for a little while.

The Walking Dead (Not That One)

When it comes to creative teams, DC’s New 52 is turning into Thunderdome: 52 teams enter… one team leaves… and if recent DC history’s any guide, that team will be Grant Morrison, an A-list artist to be named later, and a terrifyingly large pile of mescaline.

Last week it was John Rozum walking away from Static Shock, which was a shame because I had some hope for it; sure, the first issue didn’t grab either Amanda or I enough to review it, but Rozum’s responsible for writing 2002’s terrific and woefully underrated Midnight, Mass. from Vertigo, so I was hoping things would improve.

Instead, he chose to leave the title, absolving pretty much all parties involved of any blame by name, then saying with one breath that he was looking forward to doing more books with DC Comics and with the NEXT saying, “…if you are in the position to give me work, please let me know.” Which only tells me that if you want to know what REALLY happened there, you should attend next month’s New York ComicCon and fill that man with bourbon. And then send us an email. And then fill US with bourbon. But I digress.

Yesterday afternoon brought us another man down: Green Arrow writer J. T. Krul announced that he was leaving the book after the third issue:

“Misters Glass, Dallocchio, Getty, and Hanna – Tear Down This Wall”: Suicide Squad #1 Review

Ding Dong - Candygram!

Wow! Check out Harley Quinn on the cover of “Suicide Squad” #1! That’s quite a makeover you’ve undergone there, ma’am. Trying something different to regain the Joker’s interest after his disappearance in Detective Comics #1, huh? It’s a good look – and I don’t just mean the multi-tonal hair and the push up, blink-and-you’ll-miss-it bustier (and, just between us girls – how do you keep that on when swinging that sledgehammer? I have a running theory that involves dress tape and transdermal snap implants – am I close?). No, I mean that extra sprinkling of crazy. It looks good on you, and I’m not just saying that because you’re holding a knife. Really.

Bunker: The Fist of Justice

Over the weekend, the artist on the upcoming DC New 52-renumbered Teen Titans announced that the team will be introducing its first openly gay member in the third issue.

Penciller Brett Booth let the news about new character Bunker, a new character with the power to create brick-shaped force fields that he can form into apparently any shape, slip via the following Twitter exchange with Batgirl writer Gail Simone:

Gail Simone: Tomorrow I am on a panel not listed on the schedule, WHERE ARE THE GAY SUPERHEROES, at 11:00 am, in Mezzanine 1. It’ll be great!

Brett Booth: We got at least one in Teen Titans:)

Gail Simone: Really? Who is the gay superhero in TT? Can you say?

Brett Booth: Bunker is gay (the purple guy, I know, not my first color choice!)

Booth followed up with some more information on his blog, including a character description by Titans writer Scott Lobdell:

His real name is Miguel Jose Barragan.   He was raised in a very small Mexican village called El Chilar.  He was very loved by his family and the village as well — and they were as accepting of his homosexuality as they were to his super powers when they first manifested.   To that end he grew up in an angst-free environment.   He was born out of the closet and so he has a very refreshing outlook on life.