Electra Woman and Dyna Girl and OMIGOD IS THAT MARKIE POST?!

So it’s been a while since I’ve contributed anything of value to the site. In my defense, I was trapped under something heavy and had to gnaw off a foot to escape. Fortunately, it wasn’t one of my feet. Long story, but now I’m here and and Spam will never taste the same again.

Anyway, if you’re anything like me, you are a child of the seventies and watched the Krofft Superstar Hour.  If you’re a whole lot like me, you had vaguely inappropriate thoughts about two characters on that show – Electra Woman and Dyna Girl. They were your standard 70’s-issue crime fighting duo. But did you know that there was an attempt to resurrect those characters in 2001? Well, you do now. The WB (back when there was such a thing) ordered a pilot of Electra Woman and Dyna Girl starring none other than TV’s Markie Post. Yep, Christine from Night Court played Electra Woman as hard drinking, easy skanking, and washed-up living in a trailer park. She’s brought out of retirement by a hero-worshiping college student who eventually takes on the role of the new Dyna Girl.

Now, if Crisis on Infinite Midlives stands for anything, it’s for beer and sideboob. But if we stood for three things, that third thing would be the weird ass flotsam and jetsam of comics culture. And I warn you, it gets pretty weird up in here. With that, I give you Electra Woman and Dyna Girl – the lost and unaired pilot.

Check it out, after the jump.

Ender’s (definitely not) Gay-m – Updated!

Back!  After only a year absence!  Thank heaven for prison overcrowding, that’s all I’m saying.  Also, Skullfish!  Call me!  What we had was magical! – Lance

UPDATE: DC responds – “As content creators we steadfastly support freedom of expression, however the personal views of individuals associated with DC Comics are just that — personal views — and not those of the company itself.”  Translation – “Card already cashed the check, so we’re damn well going to use the stuff he wrote.”

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Anyway, in their ongoing effort to make comics inclusive, DC has hired noted gay rights enthusiast Orson Scott Card to write Adventures of Superman.  Don’t get me wrong.  I’ve read a lot of Card’s work.  Ender’s Game is a sci-fi staple and deserving of a place in any classics bookshelf.  It was real eye-opening when I learned that Card is just a bit homophobic.  And by a bit, I mean extremely.  And by extremely, I mean he looks at Westboro Baptist and sneers, “Amateurs…”

Card’s a talented writer, and I don’t blame DC for trying to bring in a name.  Plenty of other books have boosted sales by hiring big name as writers.  The results are… inconsistent (I’m looking at you Bourdain), but hey, it puts eyes on pages.  And if Card is writing fiction, his personal beliefs don’t necessarily have to be relevant.

That said, Superman represents what’s best in all of us.  He fought the Klan in the 1940’s. He protects the weak from the strong.  I like to think that he wouldn’t tell Batwoman or Alan Scott to get lost because they’re sinners.

Maybe the Card is capable of writing a brilliant Superman story that lets me forget what a tool he is.  I’m not real optimistic though.  Still it will be refreshing for Superman to finally tell Jimmy Olsen to sack the hell up.

The Card-authored Adventures of Superman #1 drops online on April 29 and in print on May 29.

DC Universe Online – Good, Evil, and the Politics of Ass Kicking

It’s time for my bi-fortnightly contribution to the site.   I just recently learned that bi-fortnightly actually means “every four weeks”, not “bisexual night in Rob’s blanket fort” as I was originally told.  Rob and I will be speaking further about this discovery and its implications. – Lance

So DC Comics’ MMORPG, DC Universe Online went free to play earlier in the month.  Thinking, “the price is right!” I grabbed my mouse, put on my Batman Underoos and dove right in.  And waited.  After about five days, DC got their hardware issues unscrewed and I was off to the races with PunchKicker, a Community-inspired hero.  I have to say, in terms of atmospherics DC really gets it right.  Metropolis feels like Metropolis.  It’s sunny, optimistic and full of life.  Gotham City, in turn, feels like the last gasping breath of a dying wino.  Seriously, it’s eerie how close they got on that one.  Come to Rob and Amanda’s house on Club-a-Wino-to-Death night and you’ll see.

Doctor Who Season Six in Review – Can we go back to having fun now?

Okay, the dust has settled, the TARDIS has stopped making that WHIRR-CHUNK noise, and River Song and the Doctor are apparently hitched. So I’ve been considering the most recent season of Doctor Who, and I have a few thoughts that I’d like to share. First off – Can River Song go away now? She’s gone from an interesting and mysterious character to a sort of creepy MILF, and not in that fun Stiffler’s Mom way.

Alex Kingston is a talented actress, but hearing “Hello Sweetie” is beginning to remind me of my time as an altar boy. This season, with episodes like “The Girl Who Waited” and “The Wedding of River Song”, feels like the cast of Doctor Who desperately wanted to prove that THEY. CAN. ACT. “I emote! Feel as my character feels! My Hamlet was the toast of RADA!” and so on. I don’t think that they recognize that a show with murderous rolling salt shakers isn’t going to ever win anyone a BAFTA award.

Four Inches of Plot: League of Extraordinary Gentlemen Century: 1969 Review

EDITOR’S NOTE: Crisis On Infinite Midlives is proud to introduce our newest contributor, Lance Manion! Lance was trained as a writer, by… ninjas or something… and will be contributing comic and movie reviews, comments on geek culture, and possibly herpes! You can learn more about Lance when we get around to publishing an About Us page! Welcome, Lance!

Alan Moore has lost it.  Yeah, I’m going there.  With publication of LXG 1969, I’ve accepted that the mind that created Watchmen, re-envisioned Swamp Thing, and invented The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, has finally jumped the shark.  Actually, that’s not entirely true.  More accurately, he roofied the shark, transported it to some sort of realm of the imagination, had sex with it in every possible configuration, some requiring non-Euclidian geometry, dropped it back off in the ocean, and then slapped it in the face.