This Is Not Gratutitous Self Boob Groping By Wonder Woman

Feels like I'm made of clay. Is it supposed to feel like that?

Xeni Jardin, of BoingBoing, recently wrote about an ad campaign in Mozambique that is a series of super heroines giving themselves breast exams to increase breast cancer awareness.

There is some controversy in the medical world about the value of breast self-exams. Even if it’s not the best way to detect cancer (mammography or thermography can “see” more than your hand, and many if not most lumps that can be felt are benign), I think more awareness and more data is generally a good thing. Even for superheroes.

As an aside, the ads are fun but I’m gonna guess that the creative team on this one was all-male…ever notice how public health ads about testicular cancer and prostate cancer don’t tend to feature fondle-y sexualized close-ups of those parts?

What? This isn’t “fondle-y” and sexualized?

Robin, quick! To the Bat Ball!

More breast aware superheroes after the jump.

Down And Outside The 616 – X-Factor #229 Review

Ed. Note: Look, I’m just going to warn you up front that there’s spoilers in this. Starting immediately. Merry fucking Christmas!

And you may ask yourself
How do I work this?
And you may ask yourself
Where is that large automobile?
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful house!
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful wife!
-T. Heads

Madrox, The Multiple Man, is dead. Long live Madrox, The Multiple Man.

And, if you’re Madrox, you may find yourself in a parallel universe. With a beautiful rented tux. And a beautiful wife. And you may ask yourself, “Well, how did I get here”? Especially if said wife is dead and you seem to be standing over your own corpse as well. Cue “MY GOD!…WHAT HAVE I DONE?”

More on what Madrox did or didn’t do after the jump. Also, there’s water at the bottom of the ocean.

Brain Bleach – In Which Captain America Speaks German Edition

Bleeding Cool is speculating as to whether The Hindustan Times has spoiled a surprise cameo in the new Avengers movie:

Casting is apparently underway for actors to dub the dialogue in The Avengers into Hindi for release against the English language version in India next April. The Hindustan Times (via CBM) have built a story out of this, specifically noting that sometime celebrity couple Ranbir Kapoor and Deepika Padukone have been offered a pair of key roles.

But which roles?

The Iron Man couple…Iron Man and his love interest Pepper.

 
Gwyneth Paltrow has publicly denied that she will be in the upcoming Avengers movie. Gwyneth Paltrow also likes to name her children after fruit. And thinks it’s possibly to “detoxify” the human body through Broccoli and Arugula Soup, among other things. It’s like she hasn’t even heard of that organ called a “liver”. Or, if so, certainly not my liver – which is probably the strongest muscle in my body. It’s godlike, I tell you. If she’s living on a diet of Broccoli and Arugula Soup, she’s probably light headed all the time and likely to say any damn thing, like “No, I’m not in The Avengers movie” or “Yes, Chris Martin, I will marry you despite your wuss rock” or “Yes, I should totally be in the Glee concert movie!”

You see? Completely batshit out of her head.

Oh, and I promised you Captain America speaking German. It’s after the jump.

Seriously. It’s after the jump.

The Dark Knight Rises Trailer Finally Out

Well, it’s finally out and far more viewable than the blurry cell phone footage that made its way to The Gothamist four days ago. I give to you, for your viewing pleasure, The Dark Knight Rises official movie trailer:

Just in the nick of time, now that the other, also blurry, cell phone footage of the 8 minutes of DKR prologue got yanked from the Internet by Warner Bros. I will say the brief snippets of Anne Hathaway as Selina Kyle are definitely getting me more interested in her/the movie’s take on the character. Oh, and it’s nice to finally be able to understand what Bane is saying without needing a script to follow – although the dialogue in that script refers to the DKR prologue, not that Bane was particularly intelligible in the trailer leaked on Dec. 15, either.

Not Getting Older, Just Getting Better…Right? – Review Of Deathstroke #4

Ed. Note – This review is in no way influenced by the fact that I’m turning 40 tomorrow. Condolences, whiskey and Lipitor can be sent to the usual place.

Being Slade Wilson has never been easy. Given super strength, agility and healing factors through military experiments, you’d think Wilson would’ve had a bright future ahead of him as a metahuman super soldier. But, as so often happens, government bestowed super powers only come with more headaches than they’re worth. Am I right, Captain Atom? That guy knows what I’m talking about. In Slade’s case he ended up going mercenary to protect a friend, getting one of his sons kidnapped and grievously injured, getting shot at and partially blinded by his wife, and going on to become the punching bag for a group of teen superheroes, the Teen Titans. Oh, and engage in what can best be described as an “inappropriate” relationship with a 15 year old girl in the process. Slade Wilson – making the good choices! Serious, it’s all in The New Teen Titans: The Judas Contract. Go on. Read it and come back. I’ll wait.

Ok, so, now that the DC Universe has been rebooted, where does Slade Wilson find himself? Still a sad adversary to meta-powered children or did The Powers That Be give him a shot at a better life this time around?

Spoilery goodness and knife play after the jump!

Sometimes A Cigar Is Just A Cigar And Sometimes The Scarlet Witch, Well, You Decide.

Bleeding Cool wants to know: Did Frank Cho realize when he drew the Avengers vs. X-Men 0 cover that Hope Summers appears to be, well, flying out of the Scarlet Witch’s special lady place…or at least a cape, gently waving in the breeze of the Phoenix Force or something, that’s shaped like a vagina?

Yes. These are the questions that need to be answered.

Here’s Frank Cho’s response:

“It never occurred to me that I was drawing a giant vagina when I drew this cover. I could kind of see it now in its final colored form. It’s funny how people project their fears, concerns and fantasies into other people’s art.

“Okay. Rebuttal.

“Like Georgia O’Keefe, I love vaginas. What’s wrong with vaginas? ;-)”

You decide, after the jump.

Room At The Inn? – The Punisher #6 Review

Merry Christmas, Frankie Brown Castle! Or at least close enough in that kind of “horseshoes and hand grenades” sort of sense. You know all about hand grenades, don’t you Frank? Of course you do.

Issue #6 of The Punisher finds Frank Castle continuing to follow the trail of the shadowy, yuppie criminal outfit, The Exchange. The trail takes him to an exclusive ski hideaway inn somewhere in upstate New York – where Exchange management is having some sort of winter spa retreat to discuss the “emerging Punisher threat”. How evil! And, yet, relaxing! I wonder if the rooms come equipped with Jacuzzis? Because that would be awesome! I totally want to work for these guys.

Or, do I?

Spoilers which may or may not incorporate mayhem, sausages and ketamine after the jump!

The Price Of Friendship – Hellblazer Annual #1 Review

Last night I got into an argument with a bottle of vodka and the vodka won. I woke up feeling pretty low, but you know who probably feels worse? Anybody who makes the mistake of palling around with John Constantine, that’s who. This is a fact that we are told goes back as far as Constantine’s childhood in John Constantine: Hellblazer Annual. “Suicide Bridge” takes Constantine back to his old stomping grounds in Liverpool. The mother of a long missing childhood friend is dying and his family would like him to work his mojo to determine what happened to her son, so she can die with some piece of mind. As is typical for Constantine, the search for answers never goes smoothly.

Spoilers after the jump!

Should You Have A Burning Need – Valen The Outcast #1 Review

I know we’re heading into December and that, as the season gets colder, we all try to find ways to keep warm. Me? I go to my day job and get money to pay for utilities, like gas and electricity to run my heat. Maybe I throw on an extra pair of socks and pop open a bottle of Bowmore. Scratch that. I definitely open the bottle of Bowmore. Michael Alan Nelson, on the other hand, burns books, specifically, his own. Why?

Even though I’ve been writing comics for seven years and have written over 120 single issues for dozens of series, most comics readers have never heard of me. Now, that’s not a woe-is-me-nobody-reads-me-wah-feel-sorry-for-me statement. Not at all. Let’s be honest. If you’re a customer and can only afford one comic, are you going with the book about a character you’ve been reading since childhood or a book by some guy who includes his middle name in his credit like some self-important twit? The math is simple. Childhood Hero > Self-Important Twit.

That said, I’ve been fortunate enough to have people take a chance on me and many of them can now be called my fans, for which I am incredibly grateful. I believe, as does BOOM!, that if you read one of my books, chances are you’re going to enjoy it and want to read more. The problem is getting enough people to pick up that first issue.

Um, ok. Seeming self esteem issues aside, this lead you to burn your own books in what appears to be some kind of publicity stunt? Really?

Yes, really. Check it out after the jump…oh, and some spoilers on the book in question.

Brian Michael Bendis To Leave The Avengers – If A Head Explodes On The Internet, Can Anybody Hear It?

A couple hours ago, Comic Book Resources ran an interview with Brian Michael Bendis in which he announced he will be ending his run on The Avengers in 2012. Seemingly instantaneously, message boards, Facebook accounts, and Twitter all exploded with chatter. In the interview, Bendis discusses where his Avengers arc is going, the addition of Storm to the team, and how a newly revitalized Norman Osborn is going to flare up and plague The Avengers like herpes on prom night. And he compared his run on The Avengers to Breaking Bad.

“I’m going to wrap up ‘Avengers’ and ‘New Avengers.’ At the same time the first storyline of ‘Avengers Assemble’ will be done,” Bendis told CBR. “It’s a good time to move on to other things. Before I go, though, I’m ending things big. I’m in countdown mode. You know when you’re watching a show like ‘Breaking Bad,’ and every episode feels like the second to last episode? That’s where I’m at. I’ve been on the Avengers longer than anybody in the history of the book. When you take everything into account, I’ve written over 200 issues. I’m very, very proud of that, and what we have coming up this summer gives me the opportunity to go out on a high note. I know enough about showbiz to know that’s a great time to go.”