Answers To Questions You Never Cared About – Review Of Wolverine #310

Ok, show of hands: how many of you got excited and had a “No Fucking Way!” moment when Sabretooth was reintroduced to Marvel continuity by Jason Aaron back in issue #300?

Did you even realize he’d been gone? Yeah, me either. Much as it may impugn my comics expert cred, I’m going to go out on a limb here and fess up that I didn’t really remember he’d been killed off back in 2007 as the culmination of a story arc by writer Jeph Loeb called Wolverine: Evolution. I mean, I’m sure I read those issues. I’m sure if I look around through the 23 or so long boxes we have stored here at the Crisis On Infinite Midlives Home Office, they’re probably sitting in their bags and boards. The story apparently just didn’t stick to my brain.

And, why should it have? It was around this time we were also getting bombarded with the whack-a-doodle Wolverine: Origins series, that got its start through the less than satisfying Wolverine: Origins and Endings by Daniel Way the year before. Comics were in full Wolverine/Sabretooth saturation mode, and that’s before the Wolverine: Origins movie from 2009 that put the idea of Sabretooth back in popular consciousness. Victor Creed, Sabretooth, was like cockroaches or the Kardashians – he never really seems to go away.

So, how does that bode for what Marvel refers to as “The long-awaited sequel to EVOLUTION. How did Sabretooth survive his beheading all those years ago?”

Marvel gives it a parental advisory. I give it an “M”. For “meh.”

I’d say there were tantalizing glimmers of answers to the beheading question after the jump, but mostly it’s just spoilers. Follow me there anyway.

Trojan Lizard – Review Of “The Amazing Spider-Man” #689

Well, True Believers, The Amazing Spider-Man debuted in theaters this week, and took an astounding $35 million in U.S. and Canadian box offices. In the movie, a young Peter Parker goes through his origin rigamarole to become Spider-Man and, in the process, fights a villain called The Lizard. Coincidentally, this week no, not really a coincidence, I’m sure The Amazing Spider-Man #689 hit comic book stores. In this issue, an older, more world weary Peter Parker fights a “living vampire” named Morbius, while ignoring the larger, more devious threat from a villain called…The Lizard. Frankly, I don’t care if it was planned purposefully or not, but I think the outward similarity is a good thing. Based on the movie’s success this week, I agree with Rob that it’s probably a good idea for a comic book to resemble the movie property during the time of a recent release. If viewers liked the movie, they’ll probably latch onto the book more easily if they see characters they recognize. Apparently, not all fans agreed with me if this tweet from Dan Slott (@DanSlott) yesterday is any indication:

Some fans think I sold out having the Lizard in this arc. Others think I missed an opportunity to bring Gwen back. ‪#CantPleaseEverybody‬ ;-D

The fans that are moaning about wanting Gwen back probably were also the first ones to get their panties in a bunch about Gwen sleeping with Norman Osborn and her freakish look alike clones children running around, ninja style trying to kill Peter under J. Michael Straczynski’s Sins Past arc. Let her lie, people. There’s no good way to bring her back that isn’t going to anger as many people as it pleases. Meanwhile, let’s talk about how Dr. Curt Connors has been brought back to life in this issue by penciller Giuseppe Camuncoli as Too Much Coffee Man. Seriously. That is the bug-eye of a 3 pot a day man. But, I digress.

Beyond surface similarities, why should new readers follow this book, and other questions answered in spoiler-y fashion, after the jump!

If You’re Not Part Of The Solution… – Review Of Anthony Bourdain’s “Get Jiro!”

When I was growing up, my mom had a saying: “If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem.” She meant it in relation to voting. Her feeling was, if you didn’t like how things were, you couldn’t legitimately bitch about the direction the country was going if you hadn’t tried to make the effort to make your voice heard. Conservative or liberal didn’t matter so much as you at least tried to make your feelings known.

She had a point, I suppose. I’m not a particularly political person myself, though, so I tend to take more of the view that change starts with me. Do unto others and all that. Say “thank you” to the guy holding the door open for other patrons at Dunkin Donuts. Avoid calling my condo association to get my neighbors’ cars towed for parking in the common area, because I might need that spot in a pinch someday. Be cool to the pizza delivery dude. In short, as Wil Wheaton put it, “don’t be a dick.”

In Get Jiro!, Anthony Bourdain proposes a future in which, lacking options for whatever reasons, the world has become food obsessed. To the “haves”, a hot restaurant reservation is more valuable than money. To the “have nots”, fresh food options have become scarce and Twizzlers are dealt like drugs. Society has become beholden to warring factions that control the distribution of food and the cops are staying right the hell out of it. Seems like a lot of dickery right out of the gate.

Sushi, smugness, and spoilers, after the jump!

Nerd Prom’s Fantastic Conclusion – Sunday Programming For San Diego Comic-Con 2012 Now Available

Sunday is Kids’ Day at Comic-Con. Much of the day’s programming is kid-centric, but if you poke around there’s also some panels that will be of interest for fans of any age. The full list is available at the official site. Here’s a selection of the offerings:

San Diego Comic-Con – Friday, July 13th: The Schedule

Ok, so, as we started yesterday, here’s a preview of some of the programming that will be brought to you on Friday of this year’s San Diego Comic-Con. Friday looks like a weird day that will be mostly appealing to those who are interested in television programming, The New 52 (can we still really call it “new” at this point?), and the Whedonverse. Here are some highlights from the official site:

Fan Film Friday: “Deadpool: A Typical Tuesday”

If you, like me, are counting the scant days until the opening of The Amazing Spider-Man and can barely contain yourself, here’s a little something to hold you over until July 3. Allow me introduce you to Deadpool: A Typical Tuesday and its Facebook page.

Put together by BeanDIProductions, this movie has the humor that those of us following Daniel Way’s current run will appreciate and, some audio issues aside, a lot of heart. Oh – and, in keeping with Marvel fashion, fan film or otherwise, stick around for a bonus scene after the credits!

Brain Bleach: Doctor Who + My Little Pony = Doctor Whooves

Well, this happened, and I can not unsee what I have seen. Yes, as reported by The Mary Sue back in April, YouTube user Ocarinaplaya has created a Brony Doctor Who…thing.

And now there’s a follow up episode:

I’ll be over here, with some Tito’s Handmade Vodka that Trebuchet and Pixiestyx left behind after their visit this weekend, contemplating the kind of world where this kind of thing can exist.

Firefly/Avengers Mashup Is Full Of Awesome Win

Who you calling "raggedy"? (Image via splashpage.mtv.com)

“You know, I love all my raggedy children,” he said. “But if I could be anywhere, I’d be on board Serenity.”

Me too, Joss. Me too. I’ve loved Mal ever since I saw him kick the bad guy’s lackey into the ship’s engine during the pilot (well, technically episode two). That is a man I would drink with. In case you’ve somehow never seen that:

So, how could Firefly get any cooler? Mash it up with The Avengers!

“Am I Being A Jerk Right Now?” – Review Of Batgirl #10

Barbara Gordon finds herself questioning her approach to crime fighting as issue #10 of Batgirl opens. While punching out one of a handful of local thugs attempting to boost expensive cars at a fundraiser being held in the low rent Cherry Hill neighborhood, she asks herself, “Am I being a jerk right now?” Rich folks show up with their pricey vehicles in an area of town where the people have nothing, as if purposefully tempting those on the down and out to do wrong, and Babs helps them out with a punch to the face. Is she part of the problem?

Of course, that’s a giant oversimplification of the economic, cultural, and legal forces at work in poverty stricken urban environments, but writer Gail Simone is willing to at least posit the question as to how poor neighborhoods could improve their quality of life and decrease their crime rates. Sure, her question includes the potential of assistance from masked vigilantes, but it also begins to broach the larger issues of community involvement versus gentrification. As someone who moved into a neighborhood that is undergoing a slow process of gentrification, I must admit that Simone has my attention with this topic. As more folks like me move into this neighborhood, I worry that the quirky little things that drew me to it to begin with will begin to vanilla out: the ethnic grocery stores, the mom and pop hair cutting businesses, the porn stores. Yes. In the age of the internet, I somehow live in a neighborhood with two “adult entertainment” stores.

But, with the nifty local amenities, there is still a sketchy element to the area. The first time Rob and I had guests out to out place for New Year’s Eve, they were greeted by the sight of a wino pissing on one of our neighbor’s front steps. I’ve had my car side swiped while its been parked on the street and was unlucky in trying to find witnesses due to language barriers. Oh, and did I mention the porn stores?

As satisfying as it might be to dress up as a giant bat to terrify the local drunks coming out of the Salvation Army across the street in hope that they remember that the nearby stoops are not for pooping, I suspect that I’d eventually run afoul of the law. So, I must wait for gentrification to continues its slow process of squeezing folks out renewal. Since Gotham seems to take a broader view to the whole masked justice thing, what answers to the problem of decay in urban neighborhoods does Gail Simone uncover?

Barbara Gordon does a little soul searching and considers ways to “monetize asskicking”…along with spoilers…after the jump.

To Defeat The Tree, You Must First Be The Tree – New Clip From “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Slayer”

Ok, maybe you don’t have to “be the tree” to take it down in one fell swoop, but it doesn’t hurt to be 6’4″ like the late President Abraham Lincoln…or to dredge up and concentrate all the hate and rage that you feel at having your mother taken from you at a young age…by vampires.

As someone who loved the novel, I’m pretty excited about the movie version, which opens this Friday, June 22. A United States President who took care of vampire threats while seeing the country through a turbulent civil war – that’s a guy whose candidacy I could get behind in an election. Oh well, until our nation finds itself in the middle of a vampire apocalypse, we have this movie.