Captain America didn’t see *this* coming.

Ok, it’s Labor Day here in the States, which makes it a pretty slow news day. If you’re looking for the remotest chance of anything highbrow, perhaps you’d like to read some stories about how Jim Carrey has signed on to the Kick-Ass 2 movie (that’s it Jim; embrace the cartoon character that you are); how Mark Millar and others are working to rid the Internetz of an online bully; or how robots ruined the live streaming from the Hugo Awards. But, if you’re more like me and spent the day nursing a hangover because you spent the night before finally watching the G4 coverage of Comic-Con, pausing to take a shot of Jack Daniels every time Candace Bailey or Sara Underwood said something stupid (which was…every time they said something…whatever G4 paid John Barrowman to help out this year, it wasn’t enough), then you’re looking for something low brow and distracting. Fortunately, Bleeding Cool has you covered. Behold, The Avengers Burlesque:

Hotsy-Totsy have a history of producing eccentric geek-centric burlesque tributes, most recently creating a Game of Thrones and Mad Men show, as well as an upcoming Doctor Who Parody…To further stake their clam in the land of nerd, overheard backstage were some of the burlesque dancers discussing the merits of seaQuest DSV versus seaQuest 2032.

Check out a trailer for the show, after the jump.

(Ed. NoteThis review will be spoily woily, which is like timey wimey or explodey wodey or whatever, but with more spoilers. Starting pretty much immediately. You’ve been warned.)

Last night was the premiere of Doctor Who season 7. Last night was also the night I discovered that Layer Cake Wines makes an excellent, if powerful, Grenache that will knock you on your ass and make it very difficult to post a review in real time, let alone live tweet it. This is probably just as well, given the number of folks I saw in my Twitter stream threatening to do awful things to those who might post any hint of spoilers that might ruin their own personal viewing experience when they get around to finally watching it themselves, in their own good time. For example:

But, it’s a whole new day and I’m sober. Therefore, I feel I should dispense with the niceties and warn everyone up front that last night we learned that The Doctor regenerates and comes back as Raptor Jesus. Also, the Ponds discover they can assemble themselves into Voltron. Oh, and The Doctor’s new companion is a Dalek.

One of these things may or may not be true.

Read the rest of my actual review, after the jump!

The US premiere of Doctor Who Season 7 is tonight at 9pm EDT. We’ve all heard that the Ponds will be exiting the series this season, potentially with one of them being killed. However, the wording of Matt Smith, the actor currently in the role of The Doctor, in this interview with The Mary Sue is positively cryptic:

…what’s really interesting about these next five episodes, which is the first season, if we tag that as the first season, it deals with the fall of the Ponds and the demise of those two great companions (emphasis added) that the Doctor is hugely, hugely attached to and had such a significant impact on him as a character and for me as an actor. So that’s bound to be an event that flips his universe massively.

Wait, what? Words like fall and demise are pretty freaking dire there, Matt. Are you being dramatic about the exit of The Doctor’s companions or are they taking their leave in a somewhat more permanent and final manner?

Well, all we know for sure, based on this Doctor Who Insider clip and the events of the Season 7 Web series prequel, Pond Life, is that whatever’s coming down the pike, it’s going to be pretty emotional. Check it out:

And, catch the entirety of Pond Life after the jump!

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: DC Nation makes me look forward to Saturday morning cartoons again!

This new trailer of upcoming shorts features Bane, Amethyst, Black Lightning, goofy takes on Green Lantern, Shazam, The Flash and his Rogues Gallery, and Doom Patrol, along with a whole bunch of other awesome, if not completely readily identifiable, clips.

I think I saw John Kricfalusi-esque animation in there. Would stuff by the actual man be too much to hope for?

DC Nation runs every Saturday morning on The Cartoon Network, beginning at 10am EST.

via WB’s Comic-Con

Yup. I saw it. I can’t unsee it. Now I’m sharing it with you:

Hey ladies! Check out my Hulk!

You can check out the specifics of why this is a thing that happened over on Sean Howe’s Tumblr. And, you can actually purchase Batman Vs. The Incredible Hulk, which is also a crazy thing that apparently happened, over on Amazon. Most importantly, you can purchase enough whiskey to make you forget that picture over at your local liquor store. I know that’s on my list of things to do right after I hit “post” on this.

You’re welcome.

Ok, Rob actually managed to get a review of Rorschach #1 up this evening, so I hope you’ve enjoyed that. Our local comic book store owner, who knows us by name and asks Rob frequently to stop setting Comedian #1+#2 on fire in the store, because it’s a felony or something, will be as relieved shocked as you to see that he enjoyed it. But, beyond that, Rob’s all passed out now, so it’s up to me to tell you that we’re excited about books like Amazing Spider-Man #691 and Walking Dead #101, and even AvX #9…although not so much about Wonder Woman #12. The Crisis On Infinite Midlives Home Office is going to take up a tin cup collection to see that Brian Azzarello only writes Rorschach for the forseeable future. But in the meantime this:

is the end of the broadcast day. We’ll see you on the other side.

ps.  Yes.  That is an old school War Games movie poster, actual production motherfucking one-sheet, you see in the vinyl cover to the upper right. You may commence with your jealousy…now.

In the lull that follows the movie industry’s summer blockbuster, nigh hangover inducing after the likes of The Amazing Spider-Man, The Avengers, and The Dark Knight Rises, television network CW releases the most recent trailer for its great fall season hope, Arrow. Yes, it’s a new take on Green Arrow. Marketing apparently thought dropping the “Green” would make it sound more bad ass or something. But it’s still got the bones of the familiar story. Oliver Queen has been trapped on a deserted island somewhere on the ocean, north of China, for five years. That’s long enough to grow some stylin’ facial hair, hone his archery skills, and develop a taste for those little crabs that live in tidal pools vigilante justice! CW shoehorns in Dinah Lance (that’s the eventual Black Canary to the five of you who might watch this that are unfamiliar with the comic book) as an ex-girlfriend. We may see Speedy in the form of a druggie sibling. Wonder if the druggie sibling is going to lose an arm and have a child with a super villain? Now that would be bad ass.

Anyway, check out the new trailer after the jump.

Yesterday saw the release of Gambit #1, by writer James Asmus. Everyone’s favorite Cajun thief-who-also-has-the-convenient-mutant-power-to-explode-objects has had shots at two other on-going series since his first appearance in Uncanny X-Men back in 1990. Heightening his popularity was his on-again/off-again romance with fellow Southern mutant, Rogue. She couldn’t touch anyone without potentially robbing them of their lives and everything he touched had the potential to explode – how would they ever finally be able to do the dirty mutant boogie? It was a fun, soap operatic diversion from the Scott Summers-Jean Grey-Wolverine triangle, with 90% less angst and 100% likelier chance of exploding heads. How could you not get behind that storyline?

Since then, Gambit and Rogue have gone their separate ways and Asmus’s new story begins with the former thief trying to get his head around the man he is today. “A teacher? A security guard for mutant teenagers? Sympathetic ex-boyfriend?”, he ponders as the book opens. Those readers following the Rogue-centric X-Men Legacy (because they can’t just call it Rogue since books titled after chicks don’t tend to sell) have watched as Rogue has entered into an affair with Magneto and put the brakes on things with Gambit. A bad boy Gambit may be, but he’s still a decent human being and has tried to be as supportive of Rogue’s choices as he can. Still, sometimes it all gets to be a bit much. That’s when a man just needs to step out and cut loose, maybe indulge in a few old habits along the way.

So, will this pitch have legs to carry it as an ongoing series?

After the jump, stuff explodes with spoilery goodness!

Poor Courtney Crumrin. Just thirteen years old and already jaded, cynical, and so very, very alone. Sure, a lot of kids her age might argue that it’s not a burden with which they are unfamiliar, but they also most likely aren’t battling night creatures and learning magic at the knee of their ancient Uncle Aloysius. Wear all the ripped, black clothing and heavy eyeliner you’d like; you probably didn’t turn one of your classmates into a goblin. What are you bitching about?

Courtney Crumrin #4 wraps up the most recent arc spun by writer Ted Naifeh this past April. Courtney almost makes a human friend at school. Unfortunately, circumstances conspire to create supernatural obstacles for her yet again. Worse, the governing council that oversees the affairs of the coven of which she and her uncle are affiliated have finally had enough of Courtney’s disregard for coven law. Things are looking dire for our heroine.

Caution! Blood thirsty faerie wolves, mind wiping marshals, and spoilers abound after the jump!

A couple of quick things for a Friday afternoon. First of all, check out Bleeding Cool for a gallery of some the coolest Venom cosplay to ever get banned from Facebook. Here’s a little sample to get your attention:
 

 
Apparently, Facebook took issue with photographer Adam Jay‘s subject’s semi nudity, despite the fact that there are other photos all over Facebook, including whole groups that participate in latex play (seriously, Google “Facebook+ latex”). What a shame.

After the jump, a short film illustrating the lack of dog curbing laws in the neighborhood of Superman’s Fortress Of Solitude.