Instant Panel, Just Add Discomfort: Fifteen-Minute Dark Knight Rises Featurette

As we speak, we are en route to San Diego for SDCC 2012, enduring a combination of planes, trains, automobiles, TSA groping and hideous nicotine fits. So expect quiet for the remainder of our broadcast day.

But in the meantime, please enjoy this fifteen-minute featurette on The Dark Knight Rises. You can use it to simulate being at a big SDCC Hall H panel! Simply stand outside the room containing your computer for ten, maybe twelve hours. Try to fart copiously and often to simulate the smell. Maybe you can invite a neighbor kid in to irritate you during the process! Then sit across the room and watch the video! It’ll be like you’re actually at SDCC!

Just remember that you’re not allowed to urinate while you’re waiting in line.

Pros And Cons: Tips For Attending SDCC 2012

If you’re as fortunate as we are, you are in the throes of final preparation for disembarking to travel to San Diego for the 2012 Comic-Con. And, if you’re anything like us, you’re running around like spastics, pulling together those final bits and pieces to make the trip.

Now, this isn’t our first rodeo – we’ve been attending SDCC annually since 2006 – so we want to share just a few tips that we’ve picked up along the way to help make the trip as simple as possible.

Elseworlds: Batman: Earth One Review

Editor’s Note: In Crisis On Infinite Midlives, super-heroes are taken from their usual settings and put into strange times and places – some that have existed, and others that can’t, couldn’t or shouldn’t exist. The result is spoilers that make characters who are as familiar as yesterday seem as ruined as, well, yesterday.

I want to start out by stipulating that Batman: Earth One, written by Geoff Johns and drawn by Gary Frank, is a damn fine graphic novel in almost every way. It takes characters and situations from the long history of the world of Batman and re-imagines then in ways that are generally compelling, interesting and ingenious. It adds a real-world feel to Batman that, while robbing the character of some of the most thrilling and stylized elements of the finest Batman tales, also grounds it and makes the stakes for Batman and everyone else in the story feel higher. And interestingly, it provides complete-feeling and satisfying story and character arcs for more than one character… Batman not necessarily being one of them. And the art is realistic and spectacularly detailed, to boot.

With that said, there are two character moments in this graphic novel that I had significant problems with, to the point where I feel that they irretreivably changed the nature of the character. For the better? Fucked if I know. It really depends on how much of a traditionalist you are… or how much you like Spider-Man. But we’ll get to that in a minute.

Better Late: Thrillbent Comics and Insufferable

The tricky part about any digital-only comic when you’re not generally a devotee of that delivery system is remembering when the Goddamned thing comes out. I know when to go pick up Amazing Spider-Man and Batman because I have a subscription at my local comic store, where they know me by name and ask me to remember that the definition of “digital comics” does not include “publicly giggling at cell phone porn.” And I remember that I need to go to the comic store on Wednesdays, because Wednesdays are “Look The Other Way While Rob Curses About Scott Lobdell And Simultaneously Dribbling IPA Onto His Shirt” night at the bar next door… or at least, that’s what they’ve become.

So despite my initial reserved – if not grudging – enthusiasm over the announcement of Mark Waid’s and John Rogers’s new Thrillbent Comics concern, I kinda, sorta forgot that it had even launched. Which is a hell of a thing to admit from a guy who co-runs a comics Web site – I mean, Mark Waid is one of the biggest names in comics, and if he produced a semi-solid dump that looked like a comic book, I should probably be paying attention – but it’s the truth. Hell, every Wednesday I get a hundred-dollar stack of glossy printed comics to read and review; you think I have time to go hunting for more stuff to read?

However, yesterday evening I got back to the Crisis On Infinite Midlives Home Office to find co-editor Amanda hard at work on a review, meaning I had to find a way to kill some time before going to “Avoid Eye Contact While Rob Whimpers That If He Were A More Conscientious Comics Writer He Wouldn’t Need The Day Job And Simultaneously Maybe Soiling Himself A Little” night at the pub. So I took a quick look at the Thrillbent Web site to see if I’d missed anything, thinking if I had it was probably a Paypal wall to the books, or maybe a Kickstarter project looking to raise money for, I don’t know, professional quality pixels or some such shit at which I could turn up my nose.

Turns out, no such luck.

Drink Your Ovaltine: Ozymandias #1 Review

We’re only about a month into the rollout of Before Watchmen, but I have already learned that, when I open one of these issues, I should expect to experience a strong emotional reaction. Granted, that reaction is normally somewhere in between mild bemusement and screeching pre-psychotic rage, but a reaction nonetheless.

No matter what you think about Before Watchmen as a project, you have to admit that there hasn’t been an issue released so far where you can’t say that the creative team wasn’t swinging for the fences. Sure, Comedian was a hot mess of mischaracterization and plot points that directly conflicted with Moore’s original, and Minutemen seemed to think that Hooded Justice, a former circus strongman, had Moves Like Jagger If Jagger Studied Ninjitsu With Bruce Lee, but there was never any doubt that Azzarello, Cooke and the rest weren’t trying their damnedest to add something substantial to the Watchmen mythos… even if what they’re adding at best isn’t what anyone asked for, and at worst isn’t what anyone ever wanted. You gotta admit they’re trying to bring something new to the party.

At least, you had to admit that. Because this week brings us Ozymandias #1, written by Len Wein with art by Jae Lee. And it is the first Before Watchmen comic that adds literally almost nothing to the story and character that came before. This book almost exclusively reiterates character and story beats directly from the original Watchmen story, giving us very little beyond them… but to be fair, it does provide a bit of additional character illumination and story extension. Unfortunately, the character that is illuminated is Ralphie, and the story it extends is A Christmas Story.

We Will Not Go Quietly Into The Night. We Will Not Vanish Without A Fight

It is Independence Day here in the United States, which means that we here at the Crisis On Infinite Midlives Home Office have been celebrating the declaration of our  independence from Great Britain, the first step in the creation of one of the most powerful and awesome nations in modern history, in the traditional manner of seeing a matinee of The Amazing Spider-Man, eating a cheeseburger, and getting savagely drunk on domestic beer in preparation for blowing shit up in the skies over Boston.

Oh, yeah: and by indulging in that most American of entertainment forms: a shitload of comics books.

But this wealth of new comics shows just how far we’ve come as a nation. Once upon a time, delivery of new books when a holiday fell on a Wednesday would be impossible. But here in this brave new world, we not only get stuff like the new Before Watchmen book, Ozymandias, an issue of Ultimate Spider-Man, the return on Sabretooth in Wolverine #310 by Jeph Loeb and Simone Bianchi, a new round of Avengers Vs. X-Men, a Rocketeer Adventures with art by Walt Simonson and John Byrne, and last but not least the long-awaited Batman: Earth One graphic novel by Geoff Johns and Gary Frank, but we get them on time!

But since this is a holiday, and since we have fireworks to watch, this means the end of our broadcast day. But while we wait for the sun to go down, we will read some of these books so we can review them for you later this week. So until then: see you tomorrow, suckers!

Faced: The Joker Returns In Batman #13

With San Diego Comic-Con literally right around the corner (we fly out a week from today, and I have my first airline system nicotine fit one week and three hours from today), I’d been expecting a dearth of actual comic news until then, since the big stuff usually gets held until the appropriate convention panels, giving fans good reason to attend and creators a wide sampling of attractive people in superhero costumes upon whom they can hit. Protip, creators: steer clear of anyone in a Batgirl suit. There may be… ulterior motives.

So here I was, thinking I’d have a week to recharge my batteries and prepare for the sensory overload that is SDCC by doing some quickie reviews and getting my drink on at a reasonable hour for a change, when DC Comics went ahead and announced yesterday a tiny little news item. Y’know, nothing anyone would be interested in. Just the course of the Batman main title (at least) immediately following the Night of The Owls event and opening up the New 52’s second year.

Starring The Joker.

The Mile High Club: Atomic Robo: The Flying She-Devils of The Pacific #1 Review

Summer’s barely half over, and to date, we have been shown a summer of Avengers fighting X-Men, beloved characters from a 1980s classic self-contained story ressurected for the generally accepted comics story motivation of “fuckloads of cash,” and an apparent cold war between the Big Two publishers over who can be more gay for the apparent purposes of mainstream media attention (“Northstar’s getting gay married? Well… Earth 2 Green Lantern’s gay! But we know that Marvel will escalate, so get George Perez on the phone and tell him to start giving Lois Lane man hands!”). All this big event posturing might be enough to make a person despair over whether the days of short-run, plain old fun comics is over.

Well, despair not. Because Atomic Robo is back. And not only that, this time he even has a message on sexual identity and politics for the people who are deeply enough invested in that kind of stuff to give a shit what Alan Scott puts in his mouth in the privacy of his own home.

The genius conceit that writer Brian Clevinger has built into Atomic Robo is that he only writes short miniseries about the character, and due to that character’s nature – genius, immortal science-based adventurer into the unknown – those short stories can be about almost anything, in any genre. Since Robo’s inception, we’ve seen him fight crime with 30s pulp adventurers, battle super villains, tangle with rogue artificial intelligences, curse Stephen Hawking while traveling to Mars, and even attack Cthuhlu himself. Clevinger has built himself an engine that allows himself to tell pulp stories, superhero stories, horror stories; he can pick and choose between any genre he wants. And this time around, he’s tackling the old pulp Air Adventurer stories of the 30s and 40s, seen most prominently in the comics world in the long-running and repeatedly-cancelled Blackhawks from DC.

In this first issue of the five-issue The Flying She-Devils of The Pacific arc, we find Robo test-piloting an unarmed jet fighter over the Pacific Ocean in 1951, when he is attacked by some new form of aircraft that can turn on a dime, stop dead in the air, and which resemble the head and shoulders of Robocop with helicopter landing skids for forearms and a giant 30-caliber dong sticking out of his chest. Somewhere, Peter Weller just woke up screaming. But I digress.

The Nerdpocalypse: San Diego Comic-Con 2012’s Saturday Programming Schedule

Saturday at San Diego Comic-Con. The Nerdpocalypse. The day when the convention stacks up their A-List programming. ,Meaning that you will be around more lines than Tony Montana, and if the humidity rises above 40 percent, by noon you will smell like a foot.

It’s the day we Nerd Prom-goers wait for for about 364 days a year, and yesterday SDCC posted the entire preliminary programming guide for Saturday, July 14th. So let’s take a look at the panels that looked most interesting to us here at the Crisis On Infinite Midlives Home Office, and the ones most likely for us to attend, cover, and really foot the place up.

Twi-Nite: Nite Owl #1 Review

The problem we’ve run into a few times in the Before Watchmen books, and which I think we’re destined to keep running into and being annoyed by, are changes in character and established plot from the original Watchmen story. It’s been popping up since the first issue of Darwyn Cooke’s Minutemen, where we saw professional wrestler and noose enthusiast Hooded Justice suddenly able to disappear into shadows like the ghost of Bruce Lee. The worst offender (so far) has been Brian Azzarello’s Comedian, where Azzarello apparently decided that when Alan Moore wrote that Eddie Blake was working with Nixon in Dallas during the Kennedy assassination, what he really meant was that Blake was off somewhere fighting Moloch and whimpering over the shooting like a woman or some common hippie.

J. Michael Straczynski’s Nite Owl isn’t the worst offender in this vein – frankly, it would probably take seeing Rorschach gathering intel to take down Big Figure by going undercover at a glory hole outside a Chippendale’s to beat seeing The Comedian get all weepy over a millionaire Boston liberal – but JMS makes a fundamental mistake in Rorschach’s characterization that conflicted completely with Moore’s original work, and which popped me right out of the story. But we’ll get to that in a minute. Because despite that fundamental flaw that will be glaring to any hardcore fan of Moore’s original, there’s actually a lot to like about this comic book.