Everyday Superpowers: Carrie Publicity Stunt Is Kinda Awesome

I haven’t paid a lot of attention to the upcoming remake of the movie Carrie, starring Chloe Grace Moretz, because the Brian DePalma original from 1976 is a Goddamned classic, and seeing a remake is just yet another sign that Hollywood is out of original ideas and they won’t champion new properties and I am getting old oh God so old get off my lawn you damned kids and turn down that rotten hippity hoppity okay who pissed in my pants?

Ahem.

Anyway, even though Carrie is, as many of Stephen King’s best works, a superhero story (Don’t believe me? Carrie is about a girl with Jean Grey’s powers. The Dead Zone, The Shining and Doctor Sleep are about guys with Franklin Richards’s powers. Firestarter is about a girl with The Human Torch’s power. Jack Sawyer in The Talisman and Black House jumps dimensions like Pariah. And if The Gunslinger from The Dark Tower isn’t Batman with a gun, I’ll shit myself), it hasn’t really been on my radar… until this little stunt.

The producers set up a publicity stunt in a New York coffee shop where they packed the place with a few actors, a fake wall and some gimmicked props, before opening the place for business to the rubes and staging a little impromptu demonstration of psychokinetic rage. And while I try to call myself immune to these made-to-go-viral video publicity stunts, this one put a smile on my face. Because if I had been there to witness it live, I would have counted it as the greatest thing I had ever seen. Right after I established exactly who pissed in my pants.

You can check it out for yourself right after the jump.

Evil Lurking In The Heart Of The Devil: Dynamite And Dark Horse Announce Matt Wagner’s The Shadow Vs. Grendel

Since taking over The Shadow license, Dynamite Comics has come out with what seems like a Bakers Dozen worth of Shadow titles, some good, some only okay. And I have taken or left them on a title-by-title basis without really getting excited about too many of them after Garth Ennis’s initial few issues… up until now.

Dynamite and Dark Horse Comics have announced that they will be producing a crossover: The Shadow Vs. Grendel. Colt .45-wielding Vigilante Lamont Cranston versus Wagner’s fork-bladed staff-swinging master criminal Hunter Rose.

Jesus. This idea is such a gimme that I’m almost okay with it being yet another project between Wagner and Mage: The Hero Denied.

Christmas In Whoville: Previously Lost Doctor Who Episodes To Be Released

Update, 10/7/2013: The BBC has announced that the press conference has been delayed until “the end of the week.” Which day exactly? You got me. This is one of those… yeah: still not gonna write that phrase that starts with “time” and has too many “-ey”s in it.

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So apparently it’s official: there will be some new Doctor Who episodes released. Or actually, make that old ones. New old episodes? I dunno; fucker’s a time traveler, isn’t he? You figure it out.

Okay, here’s the deal: for years, a lot of the earliest episodes of Doctor Who featuring the first and second Doctors (William Hartnell and Patrick Troughton, respectively) have been considered “lost,” due to the BBC’s forward-thinking practice, until 1978, of bulk-wiping their old videotapes to save money on having to buy new tapes with which to capture Jimmy Saville finger-blasting prepubescent girls on Top of The Pops.

In total, 106 episodes from the early years of Doctor Who have been missing and unseen for years, although every once in a while rumors pop up saying that some episodes have been found in some musty basement in some Third World toilet somewhere, and they almost always turn out to be nothing. But today, however, the BBC has officially announced that they have recovered, and will be screening and making available for digital purchase, some previously lost episodes as soon as this coming Wednesday.

How many episodes? Well, actually that’s a good question.

The Present Ain’t What It Used To Be: The Shadow Now #1 Review

Editor’s Note: Who knows what spoilers lurk in the hearts of men? Oh, I’ve used that one before? Well, I’ll email you a full refund.

Back in the mid-1980s, Howard Chaykin rebooted The Shadow for the 20th Century with his Blood & Judgment miniseries for DC Comics. And that story was a classic, firmly dropping Lamont Cranston into what was then the present, including MAC-10s instead of Colt .45s, a pastel pallate, and, being a Howard Chaykin book, more tits and ass than you can shake a stick at. And even though the book came out when I was 15 years old, long before the widespread adoption of the Internet, I categorically deny that I ever shook my stick at it. But I digress.

Well, that story took place 27 years ago, which means it’s time for another reboot, because God knows that unless someone comes up with a rational explanation for it, you can never allow a comic book character to not age in real time. That’s why Batman ‘s latest wonderful to is a colostomy bag. Jesus, I’m losing the thread again…

Anyway, writer David Liss and artist Colton Worley are tasking themselves with the same goals that Chaykin had back in 1986: bring The Shadow into the present day. And how would a dude carrying a couple of guns and an adenoid laugh fare in the world of the Internet, easily-available pornography, and where the evil that lurks in the hearts of men is leveled off by Adderal and Xanax?

Not nearly as well as you’d hope, actually.

Prime Real Estate At Close-Out Prices: Marvel To Publish George Romero’s Empire of The Dead

Back in February, we reported that Marvel was teasing some kind of comic with one of those text-based promo images reading, “…of The Dead,” and that George Romero, the director and creator of Night of The Living Dead and Dawn of The Dead (not the one with Ving Rhames; the good one, with the guts and exploding heads and the story), had also announced that he was working on some kind of zombie comic for Marvel.

And at the time, I speculated that, rather than Romero working on, say, a Marvel Zombies story or anything like that, that instead he would take the opportunity that comic books, with their unlimited special effects budgets, to tell a truly epic story about the zombie apocalypse. You know, like World War Z, only with blood, and people getting eaten. I realize that those are optional elements for stories about the walking dead who exist only to feast upon the flesh of the living, but you know: they’re nice bonuses.

That announcement in February was that the book would be released in the fall. Well, it is the fall… and Romero and Marvel has announced that they will be releasing Empire of The Dead, a 15-issue miniseries staring in January. And that it is based on a 300-page screenplay that Romero wrote that was originally intended to be a movie set in New York City during his Night of The Living Dead zombie apocalypse. And why is he doing it as a comic book?

“I could never afford to shoot there,” Romero, 73, says with a laugh.

I am wrong a lot, but Goddamn am I glad I called this one right.

Miniscule Enthusiasm: Edgar Wright Releases First Ant-Man Picture

If you had asked me six months ago, I would have firmly stated, with a great deal of confidence, that nobody gives a shit about Ant-Man.

Sure, Ant-Man was one of the first Marvel superheroes, debuting in 1962, and he was a founding member of The Avengers, but seriously: the dude shrinks. So what? And it’s not even like he can go microscopic like The Atom and fight sentient viruses in someone’s body the way he did in World’s Finest Comics #236, which I read when I was five years old and have never forgotten.

Look at it this way: Ant-Man is so lame that Hank Pym has since gone on to be known as Giant-Man, Goliath, Yellowjacket and The Wasp… basically he’s tried to be anything so he doesn’t have to be Ant-Man.

So I didn’t really give a hoot in hell about the Ant-Man movie that Marvel Studios has on the slate for 2015… until one thing happened. I saw The World’s End by director Edgar Wright, who is also slated to direct Ant-Man, and it was bar none the best movie I’ve seen this year (Sorry, Iron Man 3, Man of Steel and The Wolverine). It became the first Blu-Ray I’ve ever pre-ordered to make sure I don’t miss it, it caused me to go back and revisit Shawn of The Dead and Hot Fuzz… and more importantly, it made me look forward to what he’s gonna do with Ant-Man.

And apparently he has started doing stuff with Ant-Man, because Wright tweeted this yesterday:

Weaponized Cthuhlu: Avengers: Endless Wartime Review

Avengers: Endless Wartime, the new original graphic novel written by Warren Ellis with art by Mike McKone, is, for all intents and purposes, an effective sequel or side tale about The Avengers from the Joss Whedon movie. It is a sequel to The Avengers that, unlike Marvel Studios, has no rights issues or special effects budget constraints to deal with, and therefore can include fan favorite characters, like Wolverine and Captain Marvel, that the movies can’t. And it is a sequel that is printed on really shitty paper.

Seriously: I got my copy shrinkwrapped and therefore never opened before I got it back to the Crisis On Infinite Midlives Home Office, and the pages in the front and back third of the book were wrinkled to hell and back. And on top of that, a couple of panels had printing errors that smudged the shit out of the lettering. It’s not the worst thing in the world – it doesn’t make the book unreadable or anything, and I lost all my resale value, defects or not, the minute I stripped the shrink wrap to read the thing – but when you’re dropping $25 clams on a piece of shelf porn, you expect the thing to be printed at least as well as it would have been had it been broken into a six-issue miniseries. Your mileage may vary, and God knows you won’t spend the full $25 if you buy the thing off of Amazon or something, but I bought it at my local comic store, where they know me by name and ask me to stop threatening to demand $25 if they don’t let me strip off my shrink wrap for a close inspection.

But let’s forget about the printing issues and go back to the story, which takes place pretty much outside of current Avengers continuity, includes all the players from the Avengers movie – and they are far more recognizable as the characters from the movies than they are most modern versions of the characters in the comics –  and has the global scale of a major motion picture. And while it feels like there are a couple of stories jammed together that make things a little confusing now and again, it’s packed with familiar character notes, catchphrases, and Warren Ellis dialogue. Dialogue that would jeopardize a PG-13 rating if it actually was a movie.

Story Optional: Wonder Woman Fan Film / Demo Reel

This is actually kinda cool, if it is just, for all intents and purposes, a fan film by some folks with a particular amount of skill with the Adobe film suite.

Rainfall Films, a production company that’s done a bunch of advertising and music video work, has put together a two-minute fan trailer for Wonder Woman, directed by Sam Balcomb and starring Rileah Vanderbilt (who’s been in the Hatchet films). And when I say “fan trailer,” I mean more that it is a special effects showcase; there’s no story here, just Wonder Woman fighting some goons with guns on the streets of some city, alternating with Wonder Woman fighting with some giant monster on the island of Themyscira with some other Amazons.

But still: it’s pretty cool to look at, with a version of the Wonder Woman costume that is close enough to classic as to keep the underwear perverts who get their shorts in a twist every time someone comes up with a design that’s a little off-kilter from the original, and some pretty cool action and special effects for what amounts to a demo reel for a production company.

If nothing else, it goes to show that there are ways to shoot a Wonder Woman movie that doesn’t make it some cheesy, campy disaster, or worse: a David E. Kelley workplace dramady. And you can check it out after the jump.

Con Artistry: Constantine Creator Claims No Pay For TV Show

We didn’t write about the announced Constantine TV pilot that’s been announced as in production by Executive Producer of The Mentalist and The Dark Knight Rises writer David S. Goyer for a few reasons, the first being a sinking feeling – after all, we remember the Americanized Constantine movie with Keanu Reeves despite the liberal application of strong alcohol to try and dull those memories. But honestly, the second reason was that, if we were going to pay attention to a story about a treacherous liar playing with forces he doesn’t fully understand while throwing all his friends under a bus to save his own skin, well, until last night, we were pretty well covered.

But now that that distraction is completed (at least until the complete series Blu-Ray set drops in November), well, there’s still not a whole hell of a lot to say. No one has seen the script or the story bible yet and no one has been cast, so this thing could be anything from a well-produced and well-financed series about John Constantine wandering the world, taking on mysteries of the week while moving toward a larger, over-arcing Big Bad… or it could star Ted McGinley as a disgraced former cop-on-the-edge, tackling vampires mostly made of face putty in whatever city they want Toronto to double for this time around.

So we can’t yet talk about whether this show, assuming it ever actually gets made and shown, will be a good idea or the most modern iteration of, well, every genre TV show launched (and then scuttled) between the debut of Lost and the debut of Heroes (and we all saw how well that one turned out). But since this is a comic book property in the age of the Internet, the one question that we can ask is: will anyone involved with the creation of John Constantine – i.e. Alan Moore, Steve Bissette and John Totleben – gonna make any bank from this show?

Sure! They’ll be making exactly as much as Jack Kirby’s family made from The Avengers movies and Bill Finger’s kids made from The Dark Knight Rises: exactly fuck-all!

Back On The Chain Gang: The Trial of The Punisher #1 Review

It turns out I missed The Punisher. Go figure.

Sure, we’ve had a monthly dose of The Punisher in Thunderbolts, but I think we all know that, as fun as that book sometimes is, that’s not really The Punisher. Sure, The Punisher is a member of the Marvel Universe, and we have seen him work briefly with Spider-Man and Daredevil over the years… but The Punisher doesn’t really work with anyone. Sure, it’s a guy named Frank Castle with a machine gun, but it’s not really The Punisher. The Punisher works alone; he sits in a grimy apartment or in some van with a pile of guns and a list of names – a lot of those names are crossed out already, but names – and when he’s gone, you only know he was there from the pile of corpses and shell casings. You certainly don’t find Frank Castle’s name on some government paycheck dated any later than 1969.

Greg Rucka knew how The Punisher was supposed to be, and that’s part of why he left his run on the book. And it’s been a while since we’ve seen that version of The Punisher… but we’ve got a short dose of it now.

The Trial of The Punisher #1, written by Marc Guggenheim with art by Leinil Yu, is The Punisher that I’ve been missing for a while. Not that this team has Punisher running around in a skull shirt smoking bad guys, but instead they have him in lockup, awaiting trial for the murder of an Assistant District Attorney, with criminals all around him and not a single teammate in a red and black spandex costume in sight.

And it is more refreshing than I thought it was gonna be.