Dropping Balls 2013: Rob’s Favorite Comics Of 2013

So it is New Year’s Eve, which means that I am are literally down to the wire to address my favorite comics (and comic moments) of 2013.

I had a bit of a hard time pulling this together this year. Last year, I started this process off by actually drafting a list of my least favorite comics of the year. And while it was published later than my list of favorite moments, starting that way was just too much to contemplate this year. Sure, I haven’t ruled out putting together a similar list maybe tomorrow, but between the conclusion of Before Watchmen, the weird and arbitrary firings and replacements of creative teams at DC, and the overall lackluster nature of each of the Big Two’s event comics this year, I’d hate to tear down a road that makes me bummed out about the year in comics.

Because there was a bunch of good stuff that happened in comics in 2013. So what I did was go back through each review I wrote this year, starting with January, to refresh my memory about the truly good stuff. So in mostly chronological order, here’s what I think is the best stuff of the passing year:

Morbius, The Living Vampire: This one was a pleasant surprise, mostly because I wasn’t expecting anything out of it. Maybe that was naive, considering what writer Joe Keatinge was able to accomplish in Image’s Glory in 2011 and 2012, but Keatinge took a vampire character and tacked away from the recent trend of making vampires tortured, sparkling fuck machines with an unrealistic attraction toward teenaged girls (seriously: have you ever tried to talk to a teenaged girl? It’s like talking to a stroke victim who can only access the parts of their brains that remember the dullest of autotuned popular music. Either the vampires in young adult fiction have a terrible taste in women, or they have the relentless sperm count of a 13-year-old boy with nanny software on his computer and no lock on his door). Instead, we got an entertaining tale about a guy with a bad medical condition trying to handle it, and a neighborhood where no cop, let alone, superhero, would ever go.

Robots, Dragons and Sandworms, or: Stephen Colbert in The Hobbit

Yeah, I’m not gonna lie to you: not only is there still a baffling lack of comics news today with it being two days before New Year’s, but today I had to bring the Crisis On Infinite Midlives mascot, Parker The Kitten, to the vet, and not only that, but I took delivery on, installed and configured a top-of-the-line robotic vacuum to clean up after Crisis On Infinite Midlives mascot, Parker The Kitten. And those activities in and of themselves would have led to a busy day even if making the robot chase Parker around the house while I shrieked, “Exterminate! Exterminate!” didn’t lead to hours of hilarity.

But they did lead to hours of hilarity, and I am still working on my Best of 2013 piece, which means that there is fuck-all of genre news to report today. But there is one nifty little thing that I found today: anyone who watches The Colbert Report on Comedy Central knows that Stephen Colbert is a world class J.R.R. Tolkien fan. The man can argue the vital nature of Tom Bombadil the same way I can argue what a shame it is that Frank Herbert dropped dead halfway through writing Children of Dune, making that half-book the final word written about the Atreides family.

However, it is unlikely, despite my fandom, that I will be cast in the Dune movie, since it was released when I was 13 years old and, in the way I can argue that Children of Dune was the final book, I can argue that there was actually no Dune movie.

Colbert, however, was cast in a Tolkien movie, specifically the most recent Hobbit movie, The Desolation of Smaug. He wasn’t cast as one of the major players (not even one of the major players that director Peter Jackson and his writers made up – hi, Kate from Lost!), but as some dude in the background, easily missed. But we have found some screen grabs of Colbert’s appearance, which you can see in more detail after the jump.

Because Monkeys, That’s Why: Joe Quesada Draws Fitz From Marvel’s Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D.

There is a dearth of comics news between Christmas and New Year’s, for the same reason there is a dearth of anything else going on other than liquor sales during that same time: everyone is on vacation.

So on days like these, while we are trying to get our heads around our inevitable Best of 2013 posts to appear later this week, we’ll take what comics-related news we can get. And what we got is the birthday of Iain De Caestecker, the dude who plays Fitz on Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Which normally would be about as comics-newsworthy as The Crow: Wicked Prayer star Edward Furlong picking up yet another drug-related arrest, but in the case of De Caestecker’s birthday, he got himself a gift from Marvel’s Chief Creative Officer Joe Quesada. A present in the form of a Quesada drawing of his character. With a monkey.

You can check the image out after the jump. Or not. Look, this is as good as it’s gonna get today, folks. You’re just lucky you didn’t get 500 words about Reb Brown approaching a stranger and asking if they want their groceries bagged in paper or plastic.

Talking ‘Bout Regeneration: Deleted Scene, Bonus Footage From Time of The Doctor Released

The Time of The Doctor, where Matt Smith’s Eleventh Doctor got old, got his regenerations back (Hmm, that’s a promising title to a chick flick), and eventually sucked the pipe (and there goes my chick flick) and regenerated as Peter Capaldi aired on Christmas Day – go figure.

And while we were unable to find a way to watch and live Tweet the original American airing – we were visiting our respective parents on Christmas, who to a one responded to our request to watch the show with, “You mean that show with the cardboard spaceships and the plastic Artoo-Deetoo knockoffs that scream, ‘Terminate?’ Yeah, I think there’s another Christmas movie starring Dean Cain on Lifetime right now…” – But we have not only caught up with the episode on TiVo, but the BBC has released a deleted scene from the episode that has forced me to contemplate the genitals of an alien, who already as at least one set of doubled organs, more than I would like.

And not only that, but they have also released a communique from Strax, that bullet-headed Sontaran douchebag, with his opinion on The Doctor’s new regeneration. And you can check them both out after the jump.

Invasion of The Comic Snatchers: The Saviors #1 Review

Jack Finney’s 1955 novel The Body Snatchers has, in my lifetime, been adapted about every ten years, whether we need a new version or not.

Putting aside the original novel and the 1956 movie Invasion of The Body Snatchers, we had the Donal Sutherland shrieking version in 1978, the one with Gabrielle Anwar in the early 90s, and then the Nicole Kidman version (which was inspired casting. After all, if Nicole Kidman was taken over by an unfeeling alien spore, who could tell?) in 2007.

And on one level, why not? The idea that the people that you love aren’t who you think they are, combined with the concept that your own individuality is not only an ephemeral thing, but something that, if wiped away, other people might not even notice it was gone, is powerful. But it’s a powerful concept with diminishing returns; the novel, first and second movies are rightly considered genre classics, while the 90s version is pretty much just a decent sci-fi flick, and the latest being kinda useless, since by then it was an old story told better, and besides: Kidman shows off her whole magilla in Eyes Wide Shut.

All of which brings us to The Saviors #1, a new comic by Starman writer James Robinson and cartoonist J. Bone, which gives us what so far seems to be yet another version of Invasion of The Body Snatchers, wrapped in the unlimited special effects budget that only a comic can bring, but saddled with some real storytelling difficulties and forced characterizations that simultaneously amp the excitement visually while bogging the whole thing down in writerly bits of business and force-fed pacing.

This one’s got some problems, guys.

Vin is Groot: Vin Diesel’s Role In Guardians of The Galaxy Made Official

So when I saw my comic news wire blowing up earlier today with the news that Vin Diesel was portraying Groot in the upcoming James Gunn directed Guardians of The Galaxy, I was honestly surprised. Not that Diesel was playing the role, but that the fact that he was playing the role was news.

Seriously: there were rumors months ago that Diesel was in talks with Marvel to do something with them, and I follow Gunn on Twitter, so I was pretty sure I had read Gunn reference Diesel in there somewhere along the line. And normally someone only references admiration for Vin Diesel when they are working with him, or else accompanied by the word, “homoerotic.”

So I have taken it for granted for months that Diesel was playing Groot… but apparently I had no basis for that opinion because yeah: now it’s official.

I Love You, (Ant) Man: Paul Rudd Cast In Edgar Wright’s Ant Man

So Marvel made it official yesterday: Paul Rudd has been cast as the lead in Edgar Wright’s (The guy who directed The World’s End, which was, bar none, my favorite movie of 2013) movie version of Ant-Man.

When Edgar Wright came to us with the idea of Paul Rudd, we felt a huge sense of relief because the first step in creating any Marvel Studios film is finding the right star,” said Marvel’s Kevin Feige. “We knew early on that we had found the right person in Paul. When he not only agreed to do it but became as enthusiastic as any actor we’d ever met with about doing the work, we knew we’d found the right guy. We couldn’t be more excited for our audiences to see what he’s going to do to bring Ant-Man to life.

Yes. He’s enthusiastic about “the work,” Kevin. He’s certainly not considering Robert Downey, Jr.’s percentage of the gross of Avengers and envisioning finally being able to tell Judd Apatow to fuck off when he calls at 3 a.m. with an idea for a gross, yet sweet, comedy about some experience Apatow lived through at some point.

Look: I like Paul Rudd. But I can’t address whether or not he’ll be a good Ant-Man. Because we still don’t know which Ant-Man he’s gonna be playing.

Don’t Call Me TARDIS, Whitey: Time Of The Doctor Trailer Released

Okay, so here’s the tricky thing: Matt Smith’s final turn as The Doctor will be happening in The Time of The Doctor, which will be the annual Doctor Who Christmas Special because… well, because the British. Sure, there are American news organizations swearing up and down that there is an annual War on Christmas, but over in England, Christmas has been Blitzkrieging all comers for years. Here in the states some might claim that Santa is losing ground to multiculturalism (not that I give a shit; Santa could be a plaid Martian so long as he bring me my annual case of Stone Arrogant Bastard Ale), but in London, old Saint Nick annually marches to victory on a road of bones.

But the relative strength and / or armaments of Santa Clause aren’t the tricky part. The tricky part is that the Doctor Who special is airing on Christmas Day… and that means that the editorial staff of Crisis On Infinite Midlives will be scattered across the country, visiting family. Sure, my co-Editor Amanda will be holding down the fort (and making sure Parker, our new mascot kitten, doesn’t eat every network cable in the joint), but I will be in the southern United States visiting my family, Trebuchet and Pixiestyx will be somewhere in Massachusetts, and Lance Manion will be observing his annual tradition of visiting restaurants in Boston’s Chinatown, screaming for cold tea and trying to Roofie himself.

So the question as to how we will watch and report on the death of the Eleventh Doctor is still up in the air. For last month’s The Day of The Doctor special, most of the staff gathered at the Crisis On Infinite Midlives Home Office to watch and drink and live-Tweet the experience. We are considering setting up a Google Hangout to teleconference the viewing experience (and maybe wind up with a podcast in 2013)… but that will involve convincing my parents to voluntarily watch Doctor Who (“Why is this limey mincing across my new flat screen calling me a TARDIS?” “For God’s sake, Dad, we’ll put the NCIS reruns back on in an hour!”).

So whether we can even watch the thing in a way that will allow us to report on it is still up in the air… so it might be that the trailer is all we can address in somewhat real time. And thankfully, the BBC has released the latest trailer for the special, and we can all check it out together after the jump.

They Say It’s Your Birthday

Gotta keep things short today, because it is my Co-Editor Amanda’a birthday. She is Editor’s Note: If you tell people my age, I will divide it by 10 and chop that many inches off your junk, Rob. -Amanda years old today, which means that she gets whatever Italian food she wants, and an evening of movies that do not feature lead “actor” Jason Statham.

So writing time is limited, but since this is Wednesday, that means new comics… for the last time in 2013. Because of Christmas and New Years falling on Wednesdays this year, new comics will be released on Tuesday for the next two weeks. But Christmas is not my concern today, a birthday is, but either way: this…

…means the end of our broadcast day.

And there are many good comics there (not necessarily including the next two point issues of The Amazing Spider-Man, which are apparently nothing but banked file filler stories left over in case Dan Slott fell behind in 2011… and which are really not very good. Let’s put it this way: last week’s The Amazing Spider-Man #700.2 was the worst Spider-Man story I’ve read since Easy Reader was introducing Spider-Man stories), but nothing is more important to me than Locke & Key: Alpha #2, which is the final issue of that series. And if there is a single comic that I have discovered and fallen in love with since we started this crappy little rag in 2011, it’s Locke & Key. So while I’m sad to see it go, I’m psyched to see how it ends.

But that’s not all; there’s also a new issue of Saga, The Superior Spider-Man, Daredevil, and a bunch of other cool looking stuff!

But you know how this works: before we can talk about any of them, I need time to load Amanda up with antipasto, gnocchi and limoncello, hold her hair back while she yenches, wake up hung over, and then read them. So until that last dry-heave…

..see you tomorrow, suckers!

The Book Was Better: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Neil Gaiman To Produce Sandman Movie

I love comic book movies, but it is a love like John Hinckley Jr.’s for Jodie Foster: just because a feeling borders on obsession doesn’t mean that the object of that affection will ever love you back.

It is a hard-fought love, as I am 42 years old, and therefore lived in a dark time when genre fans hoping for a movie to their tastes would have to bite the bullet and pretend to be excited about things like Harley Davidson And The Marlboro Man and then find a way to convince ourselves that we were worthy of sucking breath in the morning. And if you wanted a comic book movie? Well, there was the first Batman movie that opened just after my 18th birthday, sure, but before that? Well, in the five years before Batman, the only comic book flicks that were released were The Return of The Swamp Thing, Superman IV: The Quest For Peace, Supergirl, and Howard The fucking Duck. That’s a real murderer’s row of movies. In the sense that I want to line them up and shoot them.

So we comic book fans truly live in an amazing time, in the sense that there are many movies based on comic books, and most of them are pretty damn good. Sure, there’s the odd X-Men 3 and Spider-Man 3 out there, but there are very few real stinkers. Sure, there are still arguments about Watchmen (which I rewatched recently and still like a lot), but that comic was so dense that it would have been well-nigh impossible to do a really killer adaptation of the thing. So while I like it, I can understand the argument that everyone involved should have left well enough alone. After all: some comics should just stay comics.

Which is one hell of a long way to go to report that Joseph Gordon-Levitt has announced via Twitter that he has signed on to produce a movie adaptation of Sandman with Neil Gaiman and David Goyer.