Your Mother

Our content management system is advising us that we are well behind on regular site maintenance, and it is doing it at a hell of a time: Mothers’ Day is this Sunday, which, despite the number of people who call us “motherless pig dogs,” still requires us to pay tribute to the women who, had they the ability to see 43 years into their future in 1971, probably still wouldn’t have aborted us. Probably.

This means that, if we are going to record a new podcast episode tomorrow, we need to perform these maintenance actions and upgrades tonight and tomorrow morning, so we have time and a stable platform upon which to record, and to give us time to stuff our mothers full of enough steak to forget that they wanted to talk about our siblings and their wills.

So please bear with us while we perform regular maintenance. We will return to our regularly scheduled programming tomorrow.

Love’s Labour Lost: No Badge Resale For San Diego Comic-Con 2014

We’ve written more than once about the Herculean, if not Sisyphean, effort it takes to attend San Diego Comic-Con these days. The Hercules metaphor is probably more accurate, since between pre-registration, registration, hotel registration and assorted travel and vacation time booking, the steps you need to complete to make it to the show approach Twelve Labours. However, for many people the Sisyphus analogy is more apropos, because when it comes to Comic-Con, if you make a single misstep, the rock will roll right back down over you.

With that said, there has always been one final chance for all comers to attend Comic-Con: the final badge resale. For the past few years, what has happened is that, once the first cancellation deadline for hotel rooms passed (which happened on April 30th this year) and the convention badge refund date has gone by, the nice folks who run the convention sell the returned badges to desperate people who haven’t been able to navigate the process fully successfully.

So that’s nice, isn’t it? No matter what happens leading up to the final date, everyone gets one last bite at the apple to attend the biggest pop culture convention of the year. So that final badge resale should be happening any day now, right?

Yeah, not this year.

Wounded In Action

I fully intended to review the first issue of Original Sin by Jason Aaron and Mike Deodato today – a story about one of the most cosmic of Marvel’s characters being killed by being shot in the face like a common corner dope dealer, drawn by an artist known for going almost photorealistic, is too absurd to not be at least kinda fun – but once again, it was one of those days.

The day started before six a.m., when I was gently roused from sleep by Crisis On Infinite Midlives Home Office Mascot Parker The Kitten (see above left), who said, “good morning!’ by slapping me awake with paws that really need to have their claws trimmed.

From there, I embarked on a frantic early morning cleanup to clear the decks for the house cleaning service – it sounds counter-intuitive, but if you don’t pick up, the maids will clean around the empty beer bottles, which would mean that we would have paid a hundred clams for a stranger to scrub a single square inch near the coffee table.

Then there was a good hour trying to distract the cat from the maids’ vacuum cleaner by gently massaging the tips of his claws with my hands, wrists and face. Then off to the day job, where I tried to convince a SQL database that I was its master by attacking it with my hands, wrist and face. Then, since my co-Editor Amanda is working late again, it was home to amuse the cat in a surprisingly familiar fashion (I’m in constant, terrible pain!) and by that time, well, things had gone sideways on me.

But there was a brief window in there where there was a trip to the local comic store, where they know me by name and ask me to stop accosting the paying clientele with woeful tales of pussies and gashes, And that means that this…

…means the end of our broadcast day.

And this was one of those weeks at the comic store where it looks like it’s gonna be a light week when you look at your pulls, but once you do a lap of the shelves, you discover you’ve grabbed about five pounds of comics. We’ve got Original Sin #1, Miles Morales: The Ultimate Spider-Man #1 (marking the fourth reboot of that title since 2000, and the second since this Web site started in 2011), a new issue of Miracleman (now polybagged due to adult content, marking a depressing step backwards since the book was originally published by Eclipse in the 80s), a new Moon Knight written by Warren Ellis, and a bunch of other cool stuff!

But you know how it is: before we can talk about any of them, we need time to disinfect these damn wounds, and then we need time to read them. So until that time…

…see you tomorr-OW! Dammit, Parker!

Ill Communication: DC Comics Looking For Readers To Take Survey

So didja ever wish you could make your opinions about what’s happening at a major comic book publisher known without having to go to the onerous lengths of writing a strongly worded letter, tazing Dan DiDio at a comic convention, or starting and maintaining a comics Web site for nearly three years?

Well, here’s your chance. DC Comics is asking readers to complete a survey (the first one we’ve heard about since just after the New 52 reboot in 2011) addressing, among other things, whether they like to read stories about smart heroes versus superpowered heroes, well-known characters versus more obscure characters, and who your favorite superhero is.

Of course, they will also ask you whether you like to buy reproductions of superhero costumes, and if you like buying ancillary merchandise related to particular superheroes. So clearly the comics aren’t the only research priority for this survey.

But with that said, I am going to recommend that you complete it anyway. Because if you do, you will be eligible for some freebies and discounts, including a free comics digital download, a digital skin for the Infinite Crisis video game, or most enticing (if you are the type to be interested in the superhero merchandise questions of the survey): a 10% off coupon code for purchases at the DC Entertainment shopping site that’s good until the end of the year.

Further, if we do this survey right, we will soon be able to buy an official Wild Dog replica jock strap. Which will mean that I will have won an under bet that I placed in my high school lunch room in 1988.

So help DC, help comics, help yourself… and help me make Paul from Drama Club have to wear a dress at Boston’s First Night New Year’s Eve festival while shouting, “I am the night! I am upside down! I am suppurating with herpes! I am… Bat Wang!”

Take the survey. Make your – and Paul’s – voice heard.

Crisis On Infinite Midlives Podcast Episode 13: The Fist Of Rhino

Yes, we know, it’s been a couple of weeks since our last podcast, but we have a good excuse: we were drunk we were busy catching up on the latest in pop culture and comics after a weekend pretending we were still young reintroducing ourselves to classic video games!

So we are tan, rested and ready to talk about the biggest comics and geek events of the past week! Including:

• A discussion of a weekend spent playing video games at the American Classic Arcade Museum at the Funspot Arcade in Laconia, NH
• A talk about the highs (Andrew Garfield as Spider-Man) and lows (Jamie Foxx as Electro) of The Amazing Spider-Man 2
• A dissection of the upcoming death of Wolverine, why it feels empty and corporate, why most recent comic book death stories feel the same, and a few comic book death stories that break that mold (and why)
• A review of Jason Aaron’s and Jason Latour’s Southern Bastards, how it feels like a modern High Noon, and how it plays into (and stymies) views of the South from a couple of inveterate yankees
• Quick discussion of DC’s Futures End Free Comic Book Day release, and Batman: Eternal #4

And, as usual, here are the disclaimers:

• This episode was recorded live to tape, which means that there may be more dead air, ill-advised language, and “ummmms” than you are used to in your standard comics / pop culture podcast
• This show uses explicit and profane language, and is not safe for work. If you have the choice between listening to this show on speakers and being reprimanded for faking a disability for wearing an earplug to listen to this show? Take the write-up. Sure, your hearing-impaired co-workers will give you the stinkeye tomorrow, but at least you’ll still be employed to see it.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:12:48 — 66.7MB)

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Android | Google Play | Stitcher | TuneIn | RSS | More

Enjoy the show, suckers!

Nothing From Nothing Means…: Star Wars Day Video From J. J. Abrams And Lawence Kasdan, And Star Wars: Rebels Trailers

So it is Star Wars Day because of a vagary of pronunciation (if Ben Kenobi had talked about the august of heaven, we’d be doing parking lot lightsaber duels in much more humid temperatures), which is something that would generally mean less than nothing beyond an excuse to fire up the Blu-Rays of the original trilogy while drinking White Russians with blue food coloring dripped into them.

But this is the first Star Wars Day in a decade where there’s a Star Wars movie actually in production, which means that today of all days, there is an expectation that we will hear something from the people producing that movie about the movie in question. And, true to expectations, a video was posted to YouTube by Star Wars: Episode VII director J. J. Abrams and screenwriter Lawrence Kasdan. And thanks to that video, we have learned something important!

That thing being that Abrams and Kasdan are aware of Star Wars Day, and that they understand that they should acknowledge it to the fans, left they face shock and damage!

Hey, Kids! Comics! Witnessing Free Comic Book Day

Despite being inveterate comic books geeks here at Crisis On Infinite Midlives, I don’t think we’ve ever actually gone to a comic book store on Free Comic Book Day. We missed the first one, on May 4, 2002, because we had spent the night before driving around Boston looking for a theater that was showing Sam Raimi’s first Spider-Man movie that wasn’t sold out before finally catching a late show in Cambridge and then closing out our local bar, drinking and babbling excitedly at how Raimi really captured the visual style of the character. The only way were were gonna make it to a comic store the day after that would be if they were also selling the chick drinks I would have needed to stop the screeching pain in my head without making me throw up.

Besides, there wasn’t a hell of a lot on that first Free Comic Book Day to bring me into the store. There was a reprint of Ultimate Spider-Man #1, a reprint of an issue of Greg Rucka’s Queen And Country, a copy of Justice League Adventures and a couple of other books… but I already had most of those comics. Let’s face reality: Free Comic Book Day hasn’t, historically, been an event for people like me. The point of the event has always been to use the publicity surrounding the release of whatever superhero flick that, by 2002, was inevitably gonna come out in May, to draw new readers into the art form that inspired those movies. And that art form had made me its bitch 27 years before some poor Hollywood costumer had to puzzle out how to hide Tobey Maguire’s junk in those spandex pants.

Further, and this is not meant as a slam, but my local comic store, where they know me by name and ask me to remember that attempts to leave the store with freebies will be followed with pepper spray, is not known for holding any kind of event. I love the place, which has a huge selection of new books and back issues as well as a ton of pop culture paraphernalia, but in the 13 years I have been a regular customer there, there has never been a creator signing. Or a reading. Or a panel discussion. Or a gaming night. There was one sale, once, but that was when a lost lease led to a move down the block, and the owner didn’t feel like hauling all his shit to the new address. And even though I remind him that that sale led to my finally buying the entire original First Comics run of American Flagg! and my Glenn Fabry-inspired John Constantine statue, I doubt there will be a recurrence any time soon.

So I’ve never seen much point in heading to the comic store on Free Comic Book Day, since it happens on a Saturday (and I’d always had that week’s new comics on Wednesday) and I didn’t anticipate much of anything going on there. But today, Amanda and I were out for lunch at a new restaurant down the street from the comic store, so we decided to swing in to see what was happening and maybe grab one of two of the free books, and…

Holy shit.

Your Circuit’s Dead, There’s Something Wrong

Yeah, so, long story short: there’s no podcast tonight. Life got in the way again, and we have learned that we simply need to record this thing on Sundays… and to plan our Sundays to make sure we can record them. Because terrible distractions happen on weekdays. Distractions like day jobs. And the cat. And the day job of the cat. Which is also a night job. And an afternoon job. Parker The Kitten is a cruel and unforgiving taskmaster, is what I’m saying.

So throw today’s travails on top of the fact that we will be unable to tape tomorrow because we will not only be attending an advance screening of The Amazing Spider-Man 2, but we will be attending it with the owner of my local comic store, where they know me by name and ask me to remember that not everything that shoots sticky goo is a “web shooter”, and it looks like there won’t be a new show until this weekend.

So we feel shame that, not only are we a week behind in our podcast, but we are so under the gun that we don’t have time for a new comic day review. But there are new comics today, which means that this…

…means the end of our broadcast day.

But there are some long awaited comics in that pile, man. We’ve got the first Peter Parker-headed comic book since 2012 in The Amazing Spider-Man #1 (not the particular comic book with that number I’ve wanted since I was five years old, but still very, very decent), the official return of Wally West to the DC Universe in The Flash Annual #3, a new issue of Dream Police by J. Michael Straczynski, which is the sequel to a 2005 one-shot drawn by Mike Deodato that was powerful enough that I literally got chills when I saw this new issue almost nine years later, a new issue of Kieron Gillen’s Uber (which, after the last issue, I could not wait to see), and a bunch of other cool stuff!

But you know the drill: before we can talk about them (and we will talk about them in a podcast this weekend, along with the Star Wars casting and possibly the new Spider-Man movie), we need time t read them. So for now…

…see you tomorrow, suckers!

Family Reunion: Cast of Star Wars: Episode VII Announced

Yeah, I know we were gonna release a podcast today, but a couple of unexpected things got in the way. The first being that Amanda, my co-host and co-editor, is still trapped at her day job. The second being that the Crisis On Infinite Midlives Home Office Mascot, Parker The Kitten, is inconsolable because Amanda is not here, and is displaying his displeasure in his normal reasonable way: by attempting to destroy everything we love.

So right now we intend to record and release a late episode of the podcast tomorrow (we won’t be talking about any particular comics since we won’t have had a chance to read the new books, but we’ll address a couple on the planned, regularly-scheduled weekend episode.

And we will be addressing this little news item in a little more detail on the next episode as well: the main cast of Star Wars: Episode VII was announced today.

Big News, Bigger Monsters: Godzilla Featurette Released

While we were busy at the American Classic Arcade Museum, pretending that the end of the world would come from the bottom of a vector graphics tube, or perhaps in the form of an orderly stack of marching aliens that mutter, “Dun DUN Dun DUN” while firing missiles so powerful that even gravity doesn’t change their velocity (because Force equals Mass times Fuck You Gravity I’ll Get There When I’m Ready), there was a of comics news that came out of Chicago’s C2E2 convention.

There was the announcement from Marvel that we’re about to learn about a second person who was bitten by the spider that gave Peter Parker his powers, and the other announcement that Wolverine is about to die (and unlike every other comic book character who isn’t Uncle Ben, Logan is really and truly gonna stay dead you gais!!!1!), and then there was the news that Zack Snyder has already been signed to direct Justice League immediately after he’s done with Batman Vs. Superman. And these are all things that we want to talk about… and we will, when we record our podcast tomorrow. Yes, I know we are already a day late on releasing it, but we are still half dead from playing stand-up arcade games for eight hours at a time, and the Home Office Mascot, Parker the Kitten, is still exacting vengeance for our 72 hour absence by demanding constant and exhausting play.

So while we gather our thoughts on these weighty matters for honest discussion (and dick jokes – a J’onn J’onzz vs. J’onn T’omazz gag is never far from my lips) tomorrow, we will instead move to simpler matters of giant monsters and mass destruction with no possibility of superhuman intervention: Godzilla, to be precise. The movie opens on May 16th in the United States (and on May 14th or May 15th across most of the rest of the civilized world), which means that Warner Bros. and Legendary Pictures are putting the publicity machine into overdrive.

The most recent release is a short featurette on the flick, which features some quotes from Bryan Cranston and Elizabeth Olsen… which means that you can forget what I said about superhuman intervention a paragraph ago. Godzilla is doing battle with Walter White and The Scarlet Witch, yo. With that kind of opposition, Godzilla won’t have the time to throw a tidal wave in a bathtub.

Either way, you can check out the video after the jump.