The One Who Knocks: Godzilla Trailer Released

I honestly haven’t given too much of a damn about the upcoming Godzilla reboot coming out this summer, despite a misspent youth spending Saturday afternoons watching Creature Double Feature on Boston’s channel 56. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got nothing against giant monsters, but as a child of the 80s who saw The Day After, I knew full well that nuclear radiation wasn’t gonna create a giant lizard, unless you counted the throbbing tumor growing off its neck.

My enthusiasm didn’t grow for Godzilla even as I grew older. By the time I was a teenager, if I wanted to see Tokyo take it in the shitter, I had my VHS dub of Akira. And by the time I hit my 20s in the early 90s, well, the less said about Godzilla in the 90s, the better off we’re all gonna be.

So even when I saw the big off-site Godzilla exhibit with roars coming out of it that you could hear on 4th Avenue outside last year’s San Diego Comic-Con, I didn’t have enough interest to stand in line to see what the fuss was about. So yeah: long story short, I’ve paid so little attention to this movie that I didn’t even know who was in it. Until I saw the trailer that Warner Bros. released today to hype the movie.

And saw that Bryan Cranston is in the movie.

You can check the trailer out after the jump.

That’s right, kids: this movie is about Godzilla… versus Walter Fucking White. Jesus, I think I even saw him in one of those biohazard suits, and that mean’s not only is Walter back, but he’s cooking again!

Which means that it is a bad fucking day for Godzilla. But the sad thing is, it means it’ll probably end with Godzilla keeling over in New York Harbor, with Cranston saying, “How are you feeling, Godzilla? Kind of under the weather, like you’ve got the flu? That would be the ricin I gave you. I slipped it into that Uranium crap that you’re always putting in your tea.”

Ah, well. No matter how Godzilla dies, I’m guessing he went with a smile on his face. Because based on how the Statue of Liberty looks, it seems he got himself a little action on his way out.

Godzilla opens on May 16th.