No Laundry On The TARDIS: Capaldi’s Doctor Who Costume Revealed

The BBC is trying like hell to keep fan interest in Doctor Who up now that the 50th Anniversary festivities are over, as if for some reason the idea of a brand new Doctor portrayed by an actor with a completely different look and style wasn’t enough to keep people intrigued. But then again, maybe they’ve got a point; after all, on some level the franchise has reached its current level of popularity partially on the back of a quirky pretty boy who’s made two companions and a large percentage of the viewing audience all twitchy in the shorts for him, so I imagine it takes a certain leap of faith to hand everything over to a late middle-aged dude best known for creative profanity.

Part of the mystery has been exactly what Capaldi’s new Doctor will be wearing. Many of the Doctors have distinctive costume elements – Tom Baker’s scarf, Matt Smith’s bowtie, Christopher Eccleston’s big, swinging dick (Yeah, Eccleston’s my Doctor. What’s your point?) – that define the character, since apparently “Time And Relative Dimension Through Space” leaves no room for a fucking washing machine or a closet, or the ability to groan itself into existence anywhere near an Urban Outfitters.

Well, that part of the mystery is over, as the BBC revealed Capaldi’s Doctor costume today. So you might be asking: what’s the gimmick? Purple socks? A pocket watch? Hipster douchebag fedora?

Nah. It’s dressing mostly like a fucking adult.

Here it is:

So for we Yanks, what are we looking at here?

Sporting a dark blue Crombie coat with red lining, dark blue trousers, a white shirt as well as black Dr. Marten shoes, the look was created by Doctor Who costume designer Howard Burden.

Well, it ain’t Raylan Givens’s Stetson, but at least it ain’t a Union Jack codpiece and assless chaps in an effort to force “quirky.”

So what does Capaldi have to say about it?

He’s woven the future from the cloth of the past. Simple, stark, and back to basics. No frills, no scarf, no messing, just 100 per cent Rebel Time Lord.

Rebel… you keep on using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Anyway, while I am a middle-aged American dude, and therefore probably outside of the BBC’s target demographic, I kinda like it. And I like it because it looks like something that a damn grown-up would wear. Granted, it’s not something I would wear, but I am a comics writer who does his clothes shopping at comic conventions. And besides, I am not someone who at one point committed double genocide to end a massive war of attrition. And while I get that David Tennant’s and Smith’s Doctors were supposed to be trying to deal with their guilt over their actions during the Time War, that was finally dealt with in The Day of The Doctor.

And besides: Capaldi isn’t that kind of actor. And as a relative newcomer to Doctor Who (Yeah, I came in with Eccleston, but to my co-Editor Amanda and our contributor Lance Manion, who got into the show in the late 70s, that makes me a hipster genre carpetbagger), I am ready for a different kind of Doctor. I’ve had years of, “wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey.” I am officially ready for, “Hi, Daleks! I’m The Doctor. I’m a veteran of so many wars I make Captain America look like a whimpering conscientious objector, and I am here to fuck all your holes.”

But then again, I am an American. Which means that after a few beers, I am ready to see The Doctor toss a drop Sonic Screwdriver on the ground in front of a Cyberman, sweep his coat back and rasp, “Pick it up.”