Faster Than A Speeding Coma: Batman Vs. Superman Delayed Until 2016

Warner Bros. has been pinning a lot of hopes on the upcoming Batman Vs. Superman movie (which won’t be it’s real name. They’re still working on the actual title. If I had to guess? Given how director Zack Snyder used a Frank Miller quote to announce the movie at last year’s San Diego Comic-Con, I’m putting my money on: “Man of Steel: The Dark Knight Returns.” Jesus, I’ve already lost the plot here) being a big enough event movie to take a dent of of Marvel Studios and its billion or so dollar stranglehold on superhero movies. And with the announcement that not only has Snyder cast Batman, but a Wonder Woman (with maybe another one or two heroes to be thrown in for good measure), people were getting pretty excited for the movie’s July 17, 2015 release date.

Yeah, except it’s not coming out on that day. It’s been mildly delayed.

For about a year.

Warner Bros has announced that they’re delaying Batman Vs. Superman for 10 or so months, until “the filmmakers [have] time to realize fully their vision, given the complex visual nature of the story.” Which is a fine and altruistic motive for a multinational corporation to delay a massive influx of shareholder revenue for no less than three fiscal quarters!

What? That’s complete and utter bullshit that ignores the nature of the modern corporation? Okay.

Now, I am not an expert on the motion picture industry; I’m just a drunkard who likes comic books who can also afford a Web site. But the way I see it, there are only a few reasons that a major corporation would forego some quick black ink on the books to the tune of a Man of Steel style $300 million or so bucks.

The most obvious reason would be the rumor that Ben Affleck has somehow busted his ass or his leg or his ribs in a skiing accident… and wasn’t that a rumor that Bruce Wayne used to cover his injuries after Gotham SWAT bombed him out of that abandoned building in Batman: Year One? Is Affleck going all Method here? Or does he think he’s Batman? Either way, if the movie’s being delayed so that Affleck can be fully present and productive on set, it makes Zack Snyder a better and more conscientious director than anyone who directed Affleck between 2000 and 2009!

There’s also the possibility that something in the script or the production has gone to hell, which I suppose is a distinct possibility. Since the announcement that Batman was gonna be a part of things, the production has added Wonder Woman as a character, and there are rumors that we might see Flash in there. On an infinite timeline, Warner Bros. could become so rabid in the chase for that Avengers billion dollars that we could see G’nort in there. So someone might have thrown on the brakes to get shit in order before someone could shriek, “We’ve got a soft ‘yes’ from Jonah Hill! Someone write Bouncing Boy into this fucker!”

But maybe, just maybe, someone decided that, as important Batman Vs. Superman might be for DC movie properties, it’s the Justice League movie that’s supposed to be following it. So maybe someone understood that, after the first Iron Man, Marvel sat down and planned every step of how they were going to get to The Avengers from there, and maybe Warner Bros. and DC need to do the same, if not for artistic reasons, then at least to maximize potential profits. Which could mean that maybe, maybe, people are taking a deep breath to make sure we get one hell of a Justice League flick.

Or maybe Affleck just flashed back to the mid 00s and demanded a pound of weed and a co-star he can bone. Either way: Batman Vs. Superman will now open on May 6, 2016.

(via Batman News)