Working With Vertigo: All-Star Western #26 Review

Editor’s Note: None a’ this is real. It is a twisted spoiler.

I have always had a soft spot for westerns, which is why I’ve always read Jimmy Palmiotti’s and Justin Gray’s Jonah Hex stories. Back in the pre New 52 days, Jonah Hex was a solid, straight-ahead western in the Sergio Leone vein, with real scumbag villains out on the frontier and plenty of gunfire to keep things interesting. There were no supervillains, monsters or alien invaders, and dammit, I liked it that way.

Because I always thought that the worst thing that ever happened to the character was when, back in the 80s, they took away Hex’s Colt, replaced it with a laser pistol, and had him fight space aliens or some Goddamned thing. As a guy who likes westerns, it was an abominable idea on its face, like dropping The Man With No Name onto the bridge of the U.S.S. Enterprise. It might sound like a good idea, but it’s all fun and games until poor Mr. Sulu is left confusedly looking back and forth from his fencing foil to the giant hole in his chest.

So I should be going apeshit nuts over the recent direction of All-Star Western, which has dropped Hex into the modern DC Universe. And I should be going particularly apeshit over All-Star Western #26, which gives us Jonah Hex, relentless bounty hunter and former Confederate soldier, interacting with Swamp Thing, alien plant life, The House of Mystery and a superhero just to round out the trifecta (Quadrifecta? I don’t know a lot about horse racing. I’m not allowed back at the racetrack since I asked the nice lady at the betting window for a quart of fresh glue).

I should be going apeshit. But Goddamn if this issue isn’t one hell of a lot of fun.

That Black Mercy is one hell of a drug. It’s a plant that eats into your chest and paralyzes you for feeding by showing you your heart’s desire, which in Hex’s case is to be back in the 19th Century to spend the rest of his days with Tallulah Black, making little violent sociopaths. The Black Mercy’s illusions normally cannot be escaped, but Jonah Hex is a unique person, in that if things are going well for him, he knows it can’t be real. So he escapes the illusion by blowing away the love of his life, then he frees his 21st Century companion Gina, only to find Swamp Thing also possessed by the plant. So Hex entreaties John Constantine for his assistance in freeing Swamp Thing, which he does with a special magic spell that anyone who’s seen American History X or played Gear of War will recognize. Swamp Thing advises Hex that The House of Mystery, which is the only way Hex can return to his own time, is currently in a  major American city – a metropolis, if you will. After a short discussion with Gina about the nature of 21st Century feminism and gender equality that ends in a shot (of the “money”, as opposed to the “gun” variety), they travel to the city in question just in time to disrupt a bank robbery in progress, and to meet, well, exactly who you’d expect them to meet.

See what I mean? This story is chock full of the kinds of things that should make a story about a 19th Century gunfighter just suck beyond belief. I mean, John Constantine in a western? The only English fella who has ever worked in a western is English Bob in Unforgiven, and that’s only because it was fun watching him get his ass handed to him by Little Bill. And the only sentient plant life that a true western gunslinger should have to worry about can only be obtained via ill-advised liaisons with the lowest of streetwalkers. This story should be laughable.

But it isn’t. And the reason it isn’t is because Palmiotti and Gray are fully committed to the character of Jonah Hex, regardless of the setting or the people (or monsters) surrounding him. These guys have been writing Hex for more than eight solid years now, and they have the guy’s voice down. So it doesn’t matter whether he’s talking to a scumbag bartender in his 19th Century imagination or to a walking swamp creature with a PhD, his voice is consistent. And that really helps ground the story and make the ridiculous things happening around Hex more palatable.

And that characterization, which has been consistent since before the New 52 was a twinkle in Dan DiDio’s eye, also helps sell the story, in the sense that nothing phases Jonah Hex. The character has faced everything from drooling psychopaths to religious fanatics, and he has handled them all the same way: truculent and quick on the trigger. And that long history makes it believable that the guy could quickly digest huge chunks of 21st Century technology, assimilate it and handle it in his normal fashion: truculent and quick on the trigger. So Palmiotti’s and Gray’s long tenure on the guy actually help this weird tangent off of his normal comfort zone.

And besides: this stuff is just fun. Who doesn’t want to see a guy whose solutions to problems start and end with gunfire dealing with the weirdo mainstays of Vertigo Comics? The one scene that really worked for me was seeing Hex flummoxed on how to free Swamp Thing from the Black Mercy, calling for Constantine’s expertise… and having Constantine simply kick the damn plant off of Swamp Thing. Not only did it show Hex feeling clearly out of his depth for a change, but it reinforced what Hex already “knew”: that simple animal violence will work as well against the supernatural and superhuman aspects of the DCU as it does against a drunkard with a shotgun in a Kansas saloon. And that is a lesson that I can’t wait to see employed against the dude he meets at the end of the issue.

The art duties are split in this issue. Moritat does the pencils on the second half of the issue that takes place in the “real” world, and his stuff is much as it always is: medium-lined, with a bit of a rough, sketched look for much of it… until the last page, when he depicts Superman in a finely-lined heroic pose, with Hex in the foreground in the same rougher-lined style. It’s a good match for Hex. Jeff Johnson pencils the Black Mercy fantasy sequence, and his work is more conventional comic art, with a finer line, detailed backgrounds, and clear, expressive faces. And the dichotomy between the two styles really work for the story, as I can buy that a fantasy of your heart’s desire would appear clear, bright and detailed, as opposed to the muddier, darker visuals of a crap day with monsters and aliens around.

Look: if you are a true western fan, there isn’t gonna be much for you in this issue beyond the opening fantasy sequence, and even that has enough weird dream imagery that it can’t properly be called a real western. But if you are a Jonah Hex fan, you’re gonna have a lot of fun with this issue. Honestly, the biggest problem I had with the comic? Hex’s jacket. There is no way on God’s earth that Jonah Hex would wear a leather jacket with the Stars and Bars of the cursed Union on it. Not when Gina could show him Google and get him a Confederate flag version overnighted for less than a hundred and half. Or maybe they could just swing through Florida; I was there last week, and trust me, such things are available.