Emotional Rescue: Avengers Vs. X-Men #5 Review

Avengers Vs. X-Men #5 is yet another issue of this series where they ramp up the pure, lunatic, schoolyard-level, “You know what would be fuckin’ cool?” ante-upping that has been a signature of this event since day one; I am convinced that if Marvel Editorial had forgotten to put an end number on this series, we would eventually see Avengers Vs. X-Men Vs. Defenders Vs. Justice League Vs. Watchmen Vs. Godzilla Vs. Enraged Gunship Jesus.

At times in this series, the pursuit of that adrenaline rush or hormone rush or whatever rush it is that gives twelve-year-olds boners has led to writing that has placed classic characters with well-established behavior patterns in situations where they act like they are loaded on adrenaline or hormones or writing a major summer crossover event. However, this issue’s writer, Matt Fraction, avoids some of the characterization pitfalls from earlier issues by focusing his character work on Iron Man (with whom he is intimately familiar), and by putting his attention to the needs of the plot… which is basically to have superheroes bitch smack each other stupid.

Considering how the past few issues of this series has gone, this is, at least temporarily, an inherently good thing.

This issue is simple, with very little plot development until the very end, but again, that is a good thing for this issue, because it allows for the kind of action that one would expect from a title called Avengers Vs. X-Men. The first page opens with action, and the action continues almost until the final page, pausing only for Tony Stark and Hank Pym to talk about a new invention. Which is standard operating procedure for Fraction, and an area where he excels – technobabble about new imaginary inventions is something that Fraction got an Eisner Award for on Invincible Iron Man – however, being a major event, instead of a new iPhone app, Stark is rolling out a mech that would make Optimus Prime quietly close the bathroom door to measure his own carburetor.

The downside to this issue, even with the positives of embracing its Big Dumb Fun aspect of raw action, is that a lot of the action feels exactly the same as we’ve see in earlier issues of the series. Thing is still whaling on Namor, Red Hulk is still grumbling anti-commie epithets at Colossus / Juggernaut (Colossonaut? Juggeruss? Colossal Juggs?), and Hawkeye launching rounds at Emma Frost (and also shooting arrows at her). All of which is exciting and fun to read, but which is also all stuff that we’ve seen in earlier issues. Throw on top of it yet another issue of Captain America shrieking at Cyclops that it’s time to be a leader while Cyke warbles back that he’s trying to save all mutants, and it all feels like things we’ve been seeing over and over again since the first issue. Doesn’t make things less thrilling on their own, but taken as a whole, well… let’s just say I never thought I’d get a bit tired of seeing Namor saying, “Imperious Rex” while being dickpunched by Ben Grimm.

Ultimately, what Fraction accomplishes here is to embrace the excitement of a superhero smacks superhero book while keeping away from the weird plot and character twists that previous writers on the series have resorted to in order to keep the plot moving in a way that matches the white board at the Marvel Writers’ Retreat. He is the first writer on this series to realize that all we want is what we want from an big summer action spectacle is big summer action. And he delivers it here.

Will this book make you smarter? Fuck no… but it’s also the first issue of this series since maybe the first that doesn’t require you to start stupid in order to believe what some of the characters are doing. In the last issue, if you wanted to suspend disbelief enough to enjoy it you needed to believe that Wolverine would come off the hunt in exchange for a beer. In this one, you only need to believe that Tony Stark would peel off combat to test fly an untested red and gold version of Raydeen. I can buy that amount of fantasy a little more readily.

The art by John Romita Jr., well… I don’t have a lot more to say about it. It alternates between thick and thin lined, abstract and overly-detailed, and is always blocky. On the plus side, he gives Cyclops a Phoenix costume that looks like Nightwing stopped at the Oakley Sunglasses store on his way to the gay bar. And he gives Namor a Phoenix costume with sleeves but no torso covering that makes him look like he’s waiting for Cyclops at the gay bar. But generally, Romita’s stuff isn’t for me, and that doesn’t change here.

This issue is not a watershed moment of Avengers Vs. X-Men, sure, it shakes up the methods of the Phoenix Force (if not its goals), but otherwise, it maintains the status quo of keeping superheroes fighting while amping up the adolescent awesome factor that’s made Michael Bay a rich man. But at the very least, Matt Fraction accomplished this without betraying any of the characters, which puts him ahead of the game compared to the writers of the past couple, three issues.This one’s worth giving a look.