Astonishing View of Gay Marriage: X-Men Announcement on Tomorrow’s The View

According to Amanda, the Crisis On Infinite Midlives Social Media Director and Marketing Guru, it is safe to say that if you are a devotee and regular reader of this Web site, the research numbers indicate that you are a comics enthusiast, a geek culture devotee, and an unemployed degenerate alcoholic.

And demographic point number three indicates that you will be home tomorrow, watching daytime television and sobbing into your Mad Dog 20-20 Red Banana Flavored Semi-Gelatinous Bevaraje (because calling it “Beverage” would imply that it was legally intended for human consumption). Which means I am the bearer of good news! You’ll be around to see Barbara Walters and the other horrible, horrible harridans of ABC’s The View announce some of the details surrounding this week’s Astonishing X-Men #50!

Tune into ABC at 11a/10a E/C tomorrow as the hosts of ABC’s The View exclusively reveal a major Marvel announcement! This is your first chance to get a look at the moment in Astonishing X-Men #50 that will have everyone talking!

Wow… what could be happening in that particular issue? What does Marvel say about the book in their solicitation?

Karma is losing control of her mind, and taking control of the other X-Men! When Kyle is put in danger, will Northstar choose him or his team? Don’t miss the end of this issue – it’ll be the most talked about moment of the year!

Okay – Amanda, our Social Media Director and In-House X-Men Expert says that the smart money says that Northstar will be proposing to – if not marrying – his significant other, Kyle. Which would be big news, except in New York, gay marriage became legal only last year, and is still technically illegal in San Francisco thanks to Perry Versus Schwarzenegger, which is a superhero battle if I every heard one.

However, here in Massachusetts, gay marriage has been legal for more than eight years, which means that the Marvel superheros based in Boston have been getting married since…

What’s that? There aren’t any Marvel superheroes based in Boston? Well, fuck us then. How about DC? We’ve got Wonder Woman, eh? Guess that takes the mystery out of Dan DiDio’s Kapow Convention announcement…