Deductive Reasoning: Batman #7 Review

EDITOR’S NOTE: It’s New Comics day, and we didn’t get to review nearly as many books last week as we’d hoped. So before the comic stores open: one more review for the road. The Spoiler Highway, that is.

When the New 52 Batman arc started, I raved about how it felt like a real detective story, with clues being slowly uncovered to make it feel like we were learning what was happening along with The Batman. We’re now seven months in, and suddenly this feels like a regular superhero story… meaning that Batman not only suddenly has the Godlike ability to solve crimes without anything that a normal human being would consider to be a clue, but that he also no longer needs a utility belt. Because he can clearly pull whatever he needs to solve the crime straight out of his ass.

This is the first issue of writer Scott Snyder’s run where I just about threw up my hands and said, “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.” Over the previous six issues, we’ve been introduced to a relentless and emotionless Batman, who was then broken about as badly as he’s ever been in the modern history of the character. The character and plot arc was logical, progressive, and was laid down a piece at a time. In this issue, however, the Snyder has Batman make ridiculous leaps in logic, imagine chemistry that doesn’t pass the sniff test, and mixes historical mythologies up like Don Draper with an industrial drink blender and a methamphetamine habit.

And he makes these “genius” leaps in deduction about 45 minutes after being beaten to within an inch of his life in the last issue and about two pages after whimpering in exhausted terror at a dead guy. I understand that this is Batman, who is better and stronger than the rest of us, but if a whimpering dude in a spandex suit came up to you on the street and started yammering about how the fillings in your teeth were affecting your lifespan, you’d give him a nickel while backing away slowly.

In this issue, Batman tell Nightwing that The Talon is effectively immortal because he has a filling in one of his teeth filled with Electrum, probably because Unobtainium was unavailable. Batman claims that this metal, supposedly used by the ancient Greeks in burial rites, leeched into Talon’s blood for years and years, making him unkillable, which makes total sense, since we all know that leeching heavy metals into your blood gives you the power of an ancient Greek god… that god being Cancer, but I don’t want to get off point here.

Batman further tells Nightwing that he, Nightwing, was intended to be The Talon. Part of how he “deduces” this is because The Court of Owls “has an affinity for classical antiquity,” and ancient civilizations used to recruit from the ranks of gladiators. Problem is, it was the Romans who had gladiators, which means the Court is just grabbing ancient shit willy-nilly to serve their purpose, that purpose apparently being plot development. Perhaps in issue 8, the new Talon will reach back into “classical antiquity” and throw his own feces at Batman.

And finally, Batman decks Nightwing; just flatly lays him out in a graphic, full-page sequence. The scene is powerful, it is arresting… and it stopped me cold to say, “That’s not Batman.” The scene rings utterly false for Batman, who raised Dick Grayson from childhood. It makes Batman – Batman! – an abusive father when he loses his temper… and it is only understandable if you take into account that Batman has been pushed to his absolute limit in the past few issues… and it is the source of my greatest hope for this issue. That hope being that it redeems itself retroactively.

Let’s face it: the deductions that Batman makes in this issue are overblown and unbelievable; just the idea that a dental filling can grant immortality is stupid on its face, considering my visit to the dentist’s office yesterday is living proof that a filling itself is only likely to last about 20 years, tops. So to me, the only way this issue can be redeemed is if we soon discover that, thanks to exhaustion and physical beatdown, Batman is dead wrong about all of it. If we find that he was completely off base, it can become a reason for Batman to further doubt himself, and make the story overall more compelling.

The most compelling part of this particular issue is Greg Capullo’s art, which continues to impress. As in the earlier issues, his line work is fine, his facial expressions detailed, and his action dynamic… with the entirety of that action being Batman suckerpunching Nightwing. However, as previously mentioned, Capullo infuses that scene with visceral, graphic violence; Nightwing’s face is distorted by the force of the blow. It adds a level of shock to an already shockingly unbelievable scene, and it visually demonstrates just how wrong the violence is. This art is very, very good.

If only it were supporting a better issue. As I said, it is possible that we could discover that the ridiculous information we readers were presented with in this comic book is all wrong, and this story arc could easily right itself, and more. However, these are the hazards inherent in decompressed storytelling: as a whole, it might be awesome… but this month, I spent three bucks for this comic book. And as in individual story, it simply doesn’t work. Snyder’s work has been excellent enough up until now that it won’t drive me out of the title, but if you missed this book last week and wad gonna grab it today? Yeah, just wait to read it in the trade to find out if it wound up being worth it.