Mixed Martial Artistry: Batgirl #5 Review

The latest issue of Batgirl opens with a shot of Batgirl’s splayed-open ass and ends with her at about crotch-level to Bruce Wayne, who is in the process of preparing to beat her with a crowbar. In between, in at least three different panels, she is hit so hard her face is temporarily deformed – literally, the pretty is smacked off her face. If I had written this, my writing would be decried as reprehensible on every female-centric comics Web site in the world. This book, however, was written by Gail Simone, so y’know… women power?

Don’t get me wrong; I liked this book. It’s the start of a new story arc so it’s a good jumping-on point, it’s got a new villain we’re just beginning to learn about, some interesting character background beats involving Barbara Gordon’s mother, and plenty of action. And frankly, there is a lot of fairly graphic violence for a superhero book, and while I talked a little shit before, it was actually kind of refreshing; fighting crime in Gotham City would not be good for you. Plus, I’ve got a thing for redheads, so it’s got that going for it.

The gist of the story is that Bruce Wayne is planning to put up a new skyscraper, which has inspired an protest a-la “Occupy Wall Street,” which is something completely unique in recent stories about Gotham City. However, in this case, it seems someone has hired a professional to back up the protests. Enter Gretel, a new female villain with hair that seems to change color at will, and who can drive men into a homicidal rage. It seems she can feel nothing unless men die at her feet, upon which she descends into a state of orgasmic pleasure while white stuff pours out of her mouth…

…yeah, I dated her.

Anyhoo, there’s a lot of stuff going on in this book. The actions scenes are visceral, the sequence with Barbara meeting her mother felt authentic, and Barbara’s internal monologue, always a strength since the start of this book, remains entertaining. Unfortunately, that internal monologue includes the line, “Okay, I carb up when I’m upset. I’m working on it,” which again made me think that if a dude had written it would be seen as wretchedly sexist… but then again a dude would probably write Barbara dealing with stress with Cosmos and dick-trolling, so maybe I should just shut my white male head.

The pencils by Ardian Syaf and Vincente Cifuentes are, frankly, spectacular. It’s fine-lined, highly-detailed work with fluid action, clear storytelling and excellent facial expressions. I mean, look at that picture of Gretel a paragraph up – that’s an expression of ecstasy that no college kid, with a bottle of Axe body spray and the misplaced idea that “The Shocker” is a real thing, will ever see.

And the pencils give a very real feel to the actual violence behind a real superhero brawl. A good superhero fight is exciting, and these certainly are… but these fights also look like they hurt. I mean, check this out:

That’s gonna leave a mark. Actually it doesn’t – this is a comic book, after all – but panels like that give the violence in the book a real feeling that is often lacking. It really works for me.

This is a good book, but it’s… weird. The story is strong and the art is excellent, but it feels kinda sexist. Which is a stupid way for me to feel, since the damn thing was written by a woman… but it was drawn by a couple of dudes. And as much as I dig the art, some of the choices made move the book in a direction that feels a little off. The opening ass shot and accentuated violence towards women (And I don’t blame Syaf or Cifuentes for that, since the book was written with a female hero and villain; all the violence is gonna be against women. The fact that they happen to draw good violence shouldn’t been considered a negative) made it feel a little like something women shouldn’t like… but it was written by a woman… arrrgh.

But then again, what the fuck do I know? I’m a dude, meaning I have no moral high ground upon which to stand. So me and my wang’ll just be over here, enjoying this book on the individual merits of the art and writing… and possibly also working on my Shocker.