So, You Want To Work Out Like Batman…

Sam DeHority recently published an interview on Men’s Fitness with John Romaniello, NSCA-CPT to examine whether the training regimen published in Matthew Manning’s The Batman Files is something an actual human being could do. The short answer? No.

What are the odds that someone could get through a regimen like this cleanly?
Zero percent. It’s too many elite levels of skill. For the highest one percent of one percent of the population, you can be good at just about everything and great at a few things. Let’s take someone who’s both big and strong, and has good endurance—someone from the New Zealand All Blacks rugby squad. I don’t think they could sprint 20 miles. A 4:50 mile is damn near a sprint, and those guys don’t have to deal with broken bones from fighting bad guys.

But…I’m no quitter! How bad could it really be? This, coming from a girl who can’t actually manage to stick to a simple plan of going for a walk three times week. Mostly because I’m hungover a lot and sunlight brings pain.

Workout plan and feelings of inadequacy after the jump

Yeah, I used to be able to do that with the rings…when I was 12. Time has not been kind, to either my waistline or my rotator cuff. And, looking that plan over, the fastest time I ever managed to run the mile was six minutes and 57 seconds when I was 15. It was an indoor track and I remember feeling as though I’d permanently burnt my lungs from the hot, dry air in the gym. This is beginning to look bleaker by the second.

So, I’m just going to go downstairs and engage in my own, personal super power: marathon whiskey shots while waiting for the Mormon elders who live across the street to come by to talk to me about Jesus. I’m feeling better about myself just thinking about it.