Does She Walk? Does She Talk? Does She Come Complete?

I will warn you now: as I sit here contemplating Gail Simone’s Batgirl #1, I am full of mediocre Pu Pu Platter and 12 year old Bunnahabhain Scotch whisky. The Pu Pu Platter was to provide grease to medicate myself after reading Batgirl #1 and then trying to solve my disappointment with Jagermeister. The Scotch is, well, I just like Scotch.

I was in San Diego this year at the convention when the decision to give Barbara Gordon her mobility back was formally announced. Now, I liked Oracle and I think that John Ostrander made a masterful use of leftovers by adding a paraplegic Barbara Gordon to Suicide Squad after the events of “The Killing Joke”. However, and perhaps this says something about me, the only incarnation of Barbara Gordon/Batgirl/Oracle I actually was ever really attached to was the one embodied by Dina Meyer in 2002’s Birds of Prey. Did I mention I drink? So, I was willing to keep an open mind for the new Batgirl relaunch – if only because I’m fairly certain that Gail Simone’s Batgirl will show up more regularly on my comic book store shelves than J.H. Williams’s Batwoman, which appears every 100 years or so out of the mist like Brigadoon and then fucks off again about as quickly.

Batgirl opens with a mysterious, hooded figure with an ominous list:

Don't forget: we also need cat food and toilet paper!

Turns out that mysterious, hooded dude is living out his own personal retribution fantasy “Final Destination” style. Meanwhile, a young Barbara Gordon is finding her way out from living with daddy and back out into the world. It’s acknowledged that she was at some point paralyzed by The Joker, but she’s somehow recovered and is working her way back into being Batgirl. Eventually, her path will cross with the hooded guy and she has awful, also paralyzing, Convenient Flashback Syndrome:

Have you considered, I don't know, therapy? You know, the one with the talking and the sharing of feelings and the - no? You're right. It's not very Batman. Sure. Just stand there and be an asshole.

I guess my issue with Batgirl is that I thought the story was a bit predictable, but it’s just the first issue and only time will tell. I really tend to enjoy Gail Simone’s writing (ask my neighbors about the drunk and disorderly they tried to file on me after Secret Six was canceled…actually, don’t do that, I think there’s a gag order) – maybe I hoped for too much. I’ll give the story another issue or two. I did enjoy Ardian Syaf’s pencils, which conveyed the sense of vibrancy and excitement Barbara Gordon would exude coming back to being Batgirl after being away for so long.

Now, back to giving myself another reason to order Chinese food for breakfast tomorrow.