Bad Touch

Hey, who's got a job for the man? Anybody? Hello?

You know, just the other day I was thinking to myself, “Self? You know, no one’s cornholed our childhood recently. Isn’t it nice to sit down again?” Then I see on Fandango that Warner Brothers wants to reboot Beetlejuice and I have to go looking for my hemorrhoid donut again.

The reboot is part of a first-look deal signed by producer/director/writers David Katzenberg and Seth Grahame-Smith. As part of the deal, Grahame-Smith will write two scripts for Warner Bros., with the distinct possibility of Beetlejuice 2 being one of them. The duo collaborated on the MTV series The Hard Times of RJ Berger, based on a short film by Katzenberg about a well-endowed high school nerd.

Seth Grahame-Smith is the nice fellow who brought the world Pride, Prejudice and Zombies and Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, both of which I quite enjoyed. David Katzenberg…works with him.

In an interview posted on Deadline, Grahame-Smith says:

“We want to make big movies based on big ideas and inspired by the comedies we grew up loving,” the 35-year old Grahame-Smith told me. “The thing we like about Bad Robot and Imagine is that they are never pigeonholed because they do good work across a broad spectrum. We want to slowly grow into a company that follows in those footsteps.”

Hi, Seth, Captain Obvious here. Can I call you Seth? No? Well, then fuck you, but see, here’s the thing: if you want to grow into a strong company, like Bad Robot or Imagine then DON’T MAKE FUCKING REBOOTS AND REMAKES. You make something insipid, like, say Felicity, and then somewhere along the way get the idea for Lost and Fringe. Just because J.J. Abrams then gets it into his head to reboot Star Trek, that doesn’t mean…oh…

I get it now.

Dream big, buddy.